


Serendipity

by Florexandra, SandfireKat



Category: Deception (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Drama, F/M, Family, Friendship, High School AU, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Marching Band, Mild Language, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2019-09-24 23:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 62,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17110454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florexandra/pseuds/Florexandra, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandfireKat/pseuds/SandfireKat
Summary: Seventeen-year-old Kay Daniels lived a perfectly normal, boring life that she thought she was content with...that is, until Cameron Black and his brother Jonathan moved to town. Kay would do anything to get Cameron off her back, but soon comes to the realization that maybe all this newfound chaos might actually bring her more peace than she thought possible...but as Cameron would say: "Nothing's impossible."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a co-written story by me and the lovely Florexandra! It's just something cute we started talking about that quickly developed into a much bigger project! It was something fun to write together, and, at least for me lol, it was something very different! We hope you like it, because we have a lot planned. This was just the sort of setting-up for the rest of the story!  
> Tags will be added with each new chapter, later on down the road. We both hope you like it, and if you do, we hope to hear from you, too! :)

People liked to say that your junior year of high school was the best year out of the four. 

Freshman were just panicked and transitioning from middle school to high school, so that year was just confusing and hectic. Sophomore year, and you still had a majority of the class being too immature to really have fun or escape petty drama that never mattered. Of course, senior year was filled with college hunting and stress over picking what you wanted to do with your entire life, and just hoping you don’t make a wrong decision when you  _ do.  _ Juniors, though...they were just kind of there. Fully mature...or as mature as you were going to get in high school, and it unfortunately did differ between people. You didn’t have to worry about college or trying to fit in...you were just kind of  _ there  _ in high school, but you we’re already established and you already had everything figured out. All your friends, your classes...the works. So, when you look between the four years, your third was definitely the best.

Well, whoever had that opinion had obviously never met Kay Daniels.

If this year was supposed to be the least stressful, she had nothing but fear for what was to come. Every single one of her core classes were AP. Not only was she involved in the wind ensemble, but she was involved in the marching band after school,  _ and  _ student council. She had a planner in her bag that was so full that if anyone else picked it up and looked inside, it would just look like she’d taken a pen and scribbled all the way down the page, and it actually all meant absolutely nothing. She’d highlighted the most important events she had to make...but everything was highlighted. She wrote down tests, project deadlines, extra credit opportunities, meetings she had to make, band practices and contests that would follow, concerts to perform, family stuff she had to do, and about a million other things. Other juniors in her class might be taking this year as the last year to really have a lot of fun. To slack off a bit and just coast. But she just didn’t have the time.

Time was the one thing she was all out of, no matter what day it was. Take the night before. She’d stayed up until one studying for the test she would have later today in government. Now, it was 6:55 in the morning, and she was sitting in her literature class, in the back corner of the room where she usually took to if there wasn’t assigned seating. She was still half-asleep, but she was trying to force out some last-minute studying before the test. Government was second hour, for her, still bright and early. She still had some time to use to prepare for it, if she could keep her eyes open. And if she could manage to focus around everyone else already gathered in the classroom. 

There weren’t too many just yet. But it was around seven when people really started coming in, so it was close enough. Friends were clamoring to say hi to each other, to give each other hugs like they hadn’t seen each other in years when really it hadn’t even been twenty-four hours. Students were sitting on desks talking to each other, or rifling through the bookshelf in the other corner to “Find a book that doesn’t suck” they could add to the next roster of books to choose from. Apparently  _ One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest  _ wasn’t their cup of tea, because that was what they were reading now. Other students were talking with the teacher. Mrs. Shockley was one of the more laid-back teachers (she was two years from retirement, so there wasn’t much math to that equation) and currently she was humoring a group of them who were trying to propose ‘Bagel Tuesdays.’ 

“Panera sells bagels for fifty cents on Tuesdays!” Mike was proclaiming. Kay glanced over at the shout, irritated, and tried to redirect her attention back down. But his voice was way too loud to ignore as he went on. “Monday, we can all give you a dollar, and you can pick them up on the way. I think it’d do wonders for...morale.” He had to stretch for the word. Which was sad. Because this was an english class. Shockley was nodding very dramatically, still scrolling through her email. “I’m serious!” he pressed. “And think about it: we’d give you a  _ dollar!  _ So if you add it all up, you’ll be making a profit. And  _ we’ll  _ be getting some really good bagels.”

“Well, when you put it that way…” she sighed, very clearly not paying attention.

“You torture us with all these timed writes,” he grumbled. “The least you could do is give us bagels.”

“I have my own idea for what the  _ least  _ I could do is,” she mumbled. “....It’s  _ nothing.” _

Kay had half a mind to dig out her headphones and block everyone out that way. In fact, she was just beginning to draw the line and lean down to fish them out, when a  _ new  _ voice joined the clamor that was already digging under her skin. And it was a particularly obnoxious one. She ducked her head and held it in her hands, staring down dismally at her study guide and knowing for a fact that now there was no hope for her to cram anymore, when she heard Lexi’s voice waltz into the room. She was talking very loud and very importantly, like she usually did. And her voice had that annoying lift it sometimes got whenever…

“Here it is! This is your first hour; we have it together, how perfect is that?” Kay looked up. Lexi was grinning from ear to ear, looking much more  _ awake  _ than she usually was in the morning. And Kay would know; she sat right by her every day. Sure enough, there seemed to be a reason for her alertness, and for how loud she was talking, and the  _ way _ she was talking. The reason was in the form of someone Kay had never seen before. A boy, with light brown hair and blue eyes that were  _ also  _ much too awake for what hour of the day it was. He was practically radiating excitement, it looked like. He was wearing jeans and a jacket, and still had his backpack slung over one shoulder. He was holding a schedule in his hands. He was new. Which explained why Kay had never seen him before this very moment.

Lexi gestured to the room with a big flourish, before she turned back to lean over and look at his schedule. Very pointedly making it so that she was only a few inches away from him when she did lean over. She was still wearing that stupid grin on her face. The one she always wore when she was around the football team. “What’s your next hour?” Kay made a face again, and rolled her eyes as she looked down down at her study guide. She still heard Lexi when she made a pouty kind of whine. “Oh. I have math next...looks like we don’t have that one together.” She was quick to rush on, though: “But I can still show you to your class! I’ll make it to both!”

“Well, thank  _ God!”  _ the newcomer huffed. “Don’t want me wandering right off campus. I’ll end up at the middle school across the street.” Lexi started laughing immediately, and he grinned when she did. Kay was digging for her headphones again. It was 7:07. She only had thirteen minutes left to study, if she could even manage  _ that.  _ If she lost her A in Gov, it was all going to be their fault. 

But the second she shifted her bag closer and started to rifle through it, Lexi was piping up even  _ louder,  _ to those who were already in class. “Hey, everyone!” ‘Everyone’ being a little more than half of who was usually here. But all the same, they looked up. “This is Cameron!” she introduced. Again, with a very noticeable flourish. Kay didn’t look back up; her headphones seemed to have gone missing. “Cameron, this is everyone.” Cameron cracked another smile. “He moved here from New York!” There was a small mumbling of ‘ooh’s with this. “I’m showing him around, today.” Lexi made it sound like she’d won the lottery.

But it wasn’t hard to tell why. And it wasn’t hard to tell why the girl in the desk in front of Kay sat forward a lot more and grinned wide at the new kid. “Hi, Cameron!” she gushed. “I’m Amanda.” Lexi led him over, chattering along the way that Amanda was her best friend and she sat by her, but there was a seat right  _ behind  _ her that he could take, if he wanted. That left everyone else to gravitate over and follow. Kay wasn’t having any luck this morning. “How come you moved here? New York is probably so much more interesting!”

Kay glanced over at Mrs. Shockley. Wouldn’t they do this song and dance once class started? But no. She wasn't even paying attention. She was too busy arguing with Mike over the bagels, still. Because of course she was. She looked back down, and watched out of the corner of her eye as Cameron took the desk directly to her left. Zeroing all the attention there the second he did, and cementing it into place, too. “Well, you see, I killed a man,” he sighed conversationally. “And I hid his body  _ perfectly,  _ but...his cat saw the whole thing. So. I had to duck out.” Every single girl that was in that classroom burst out laughing, like it was the most hilarious thing anyone had ever said. He smiled too, but was quick to offer a much more serious: “It’s nice to meet you, Amanda.”

Lexi did the honors of pointing everyone out. “This is Max, that’s Lilly, that’s Mike over there trying to get Bagel Tuesdays to be a thing again…” Cameron looked over at the mention, mouthing a silent but confused ‘Bagel Tuesdays?’ to himself. “That’s Kay!” Kay looked up at her name, tearing her eyes away from her papers when she realized Cameron was turned towards her, now. “Kay, this is Cameron, he’s from New York.” 

“Yeah, I heard,” she said lightly. She offered him a tiny, polite smile. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Cameron returned, laughing a little bit when he did.

“If you wanted a neighbor that’s super quiet, that’s the perfect spot,” Lexi chirped, teasing as she flashed Kay a big smile. Kay kept her own grin, but it was quickly becoming less and less polite. “Kay’s always studying...she’s probably said a total of twenty things since the school year started. She’s got perfect grades because she never looks up from her study guides.”

“Well, the school year’s still young,” Cameron offered good-naturedly. Kay’s smile dropped entirely as he leaned over and plucked up the study guide currently on her desk. “What are you looking at now?” The moment she started to say ‘Give that back’ he was talking again, over her on accident. “AP US Government?” he demanded. His eyebrows rose and he looked at her like she’d just sprouted rabbit ears. “So like…” He looked from her to the paper. “Do you just really  _ hate  _ yourself, or are you super passionate about filibusters?” 

“I’m just super passionate about filibusters,” she sighed a little shortly as she grabbed it back.

Cameron eyed her with an odd kind of grin as she tucked it all back close to her. He snickered again. “Okay, well, that’s good, ‘cause I’d hate to stage an intervention my first day here.” She offered a dull smile, being more polite than anything else as she made a point to look back down at her paper. Hoping he’d get the message and just leave her be. She was running out of time. He did  _ not  _ get the message, though. “So, Kay, is that short for something?” Her eyes flickered up to stare straight ahead with growing frustration. He kept going. “‘Cause I have a brother, his name’s Jonathan, but I call him Johnny. And he calls me Cam, ‘cause we’re both too lazy to drag ourselves the extra syllables, you know? So like...is your name Cadence? Or...Katherine?” 

She looked back down. He started to smile more, and leaned over the desk, closer to her. “How about...Karmen? Kameron, your name could be Kameron too, you can spell that with a K if your parents were feeling particularly pretentious that morning! ...Please tell me your full name is Kameron, then we can be like-” 

“I have a test next hour,” she interrupted. She looked back at him and grew even more irritated when she realized he was  _ still  _ biting back on a smile. He was doing this on  _ purpose _ .  “So if you could just…” She trailed off, letting the silence fill in the blanks for her. Then she looked back down again.

And for a second, she thought he’d actually listen to her. Until, after about five seconds of silence, he added a cheeky: “You know, ‘cause if  _ you’re  _ Kameron with a  _ K _ , and  _ I’m  _ Cameron with a  _ C _ , they could call us KC.” She scowled now, blowing out a short huff of air. He was trying not to laugh when he tacked on: “We could be Kansas City, that could be our duo name.” She looked at him with a very brittle stare, practically begging him to shut up. He just balanced his chin in the palm of his hand and grinned even more. “I’m gonna call you Kansas,” he declared.

“You  _ won’t,”  _ she corrected swiftly. 

“I have a feeling we’re gonna be friends, Kansas,” he foretold. 

Her irritation was just mounting. “ _ Why _ ?” she found herself snapping.

He kept that dumb grin on his face. “Because for someone that hasn’t said more than twenty words all year, you’ve sure said a lot to me just now. And it’s only been about five minutes.” 

She glared at him. “I’ve just tried to tell you to be  _ quiet,”  _ she objected. He seemed awfully confident that he was someone special. He had an air of...maybe it wasn’t arrogance, but it was  _ something,  _ and she didn’t like it. It got on her nerves. Or  _ something _ . All she knew was that  _ he  _ was getting on her nerves. “But you refuse to listen.” She turned back to shuffle her papers together as she grumbled: “Must be a  _ New York  _ thing…”

“Is doing nothing but studying and sleeping and eating a  _ you  _ thing? Because if we’re gonna be friends, that’s not gonna work out, Kansas.”

“Looks like we can’t be friends then, oh no,” she grumbled. 

He laughed. Outright laughed, like he found her hilarious, when she was actually being fairly serious. When she looked back at him, he was grinning from ear to ear. She picked up her small stack of index cards she’d made a week before to flip through before the test. She was going to flip through them again, at least a couple more times, when he suddenly leaned over, holding out one hand. “Here, wait a second, let me see those.” She shot him a look, but was tired of fighting. Maybe if he handed him the index cards he’d be distracted enough she could actually read through more than a couple bullet points at a time. 

He plucked the tiny stak from her hands and shifted through them a bit. “You seem like the kind of person that keeps studying even though they can recite everything from the lecture,” he snorted. She didn’t argue with him. But she also just waited for him to be finished going through  _ her  _ stuff. Did he just not have any inhibitions whatsoever? Or any awareness enough to realize he was bugging the crap out of her? She had a  _ test.  _ And now it was 7:13! He was just going through, reading all the terms very dramatically and pronouncing most of them very  _ wrong.  _ She eventually reached out with an impatient look for him to give it all back.

He looked from the cards to her. Blinked a couple times, and then...the cards were just gone.

Kay did a double-take, frowning as she looked down at the ground, for if he’d dropped them somehow. “Where…? Where did they go?” 

“Oh, I made them disappear.” He said this as simply as he’d confessed to his murder, before. 

“You  _ what?”  _ she snapped,  _ really  _ drawing the line with this kid, now.

“I can do magic,” he chirped, very happily. “Wanna see me make something else disappear?”

“ _ No,  _ I want my flash cards back!” By now, Lexi and Amanda were watching them and laughing. 

“Well, why would you want that?” he asked. “Now you can enjoy the last…” he glanced at the clock, “...two minutes of freedom before public school sucks away all your happiness. Although, I think you’ve fallen into the trap of just never having  _ any  _ fun  _ ever _ . Which is unfortunate, if you ask me.”

“Well I  _ didn’t,”  _ she hissed. “Give them back!”

The bell rang the very second she demanded this. While they’d been talking the classroom had filled, and now everyone was seated, and Mrs. Shockley was standing up from her desk and going to the front of the room. Cameron flashed Kay another cheeky smile, ignoring the way she was glaring at him, before he looked at the teacher. “Alright,” she was sweeping into the morning. “Today I was thinking we’d just get with our reading groups and talk about the first couple chapters of  _ Cuckoo’s Nest;  _ over the weekend you were supposed to have read the first four chapters. Remember we’ll have essays due over this along the way, so don’t fall behind in your reading. However! We have a new student in class today.” Cameron beamed, and Kay scowled at him more. “Cameron, why don’t you stand up and tell the class a bit about yourself?”

Of course, he was hopping up immediately. She could already tell that he had a  _ thing  _ for attention. Sure enough, he clasped his hands dramatically behind his back and rocked between his toes and his heels. “Welp,” he sighed. “I’m Cameron Black. I moved here from New York. I have a twin brother  _ Jonathan  _ Black, but we’re very easy to tell apart because he’s the grumpy one. If you see me in the hall and I’m frowning, it’s not me, it’s my brother.” Oh, there were  _ two  _ of them. That’s nice. “Uh...I can do magic!” The instant he said this, he whipped out an arm, and all of a sudden, Kay’s index cards were back in that hand. The entire class ‘ooh’ed again. He was awfully proud of himself when he offered them to her. She snatched them back, fighting the strong urge to roll her eyes. 

He kept going, sighing his way nonchalantly through his own introduction. “I skipped a grade,” he offered, as if it was just reoccuring to him, and he’d forgotten. Kay jerked, sitting up more at this. “Just decided I didn’t wanna do eighth grade. Me  _ and  _ Jonathan, ‘cause if  _ I  _ can skip a grade, my brother can, because he knows literally everything. But he’s the math and science guy. I’m the english guy. And I’ve been told drama, as well, is a good realm for me. Mostly sarcastically, though, I think. Uh...I play the trumpet?” She stiffened at this. Looked at him so fast she almost got whiplash. He didn’t notice. “That’s pretty much it. There’s not a lot to me.”

Shockley smiled. “Well, we’re happy to have you here, Cameron. Just a couple weeks late, but that’s alright. I can get you a copy of  _ Cuckoo’s Nest  _ here before we split into groups. You just choose a group to sidle into. Next reading cycle you can pick which book you want to read, but for now we’re all starting with this one.” 

She moved to fetch it for him. Kay would have asked him immediately to  _ not  _ join her group. But something else was troubling her more. She hissed over at him, and he looked to her the instant she did. Looking awfully innocent for someone that’d been bugging her for the past half hour. “You play trumpet?” He nodded. “Are you in concert band?” she demanded, stiffening even more.

“No.” 

She breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m in something called Wind Ensemble.” 

She went stiff again, frustration and irritation clawing at her throat. “You’re in Wind Ensemble!?” He nodded again, eyeing her. That was the harder band to get into. Concert Band was where she would have pinned him as a new student. And more importantly, it was the one she  _ wasn’t  _ in. But just to be sure: “Third hour?” There was only one hour for that band. So when he nodded it was just grimm affirmation. Her entire posture drooped. “ _ Why  _ are you in Wind Ensemble?” It came across sounding as more of a whine than anything else. 

“I dunno!” He put his hands up in something akin to surrender. “Yesterday I played for a guy whose name sounded like mayonnaise, and he put me there!”

“... _ Mister Messerli!?”  _ she snapped impatiently. He’d be the band director.

“Yeah, that’s it. I knew I was close,” he sighed, looking away.

She sat there fuming for a second. Staring at him hard. Before she got to her very last resort. “You’re not in the marching band, though, right?” He hadn’t been there over the summer practicing with them. If he was there, he would be awfully far behind,  _ on top of  _ being the most annoying member in the entire group. It wouldn’t work.

But…

“Yeah,” he whispered. She had to fight the urge to slam her head down on the desk. He must have registered this, because a smirk traced its way slowly over his face. “Why?” She could  _ hear  _ the laughter he was hiding under the surface of his voice. It made her grit her teeth even more. “Are  _ you?”  _ he pressed. His smile just grew when she said nothing. He definitely couldn’t hide his laughter when he chirped: “We’ve got Lit together, and Wind Ensemble together,  _ and  _ we’re both in marching band!? Kansas, we’re gonna see each other all the  _ time!  _ Not just in school, but  _ every day after it, too!  _ And  _ weekends,  _ with competitions!” Her eyes were slowly narrowing. He only laughed more. “How great is  _ that!?  _ Aren’t you so excited!?”

She was  _ already  _ done.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

She had no idea how she did on the exam in government. But she knew for  _ sure  _ that if Cameron Black hadn’t bothered her so much this morning, she likely would have done a  _ lot  _ better. She knew for a fact she missed a couple of questions (which, of course, she remembered had been on the study guide, but she couldn’t recall their actual  _ answers _ ), so those couple were solely on his shoulders. So she was walking down to band with a scowl already on her face. And that scowl only tripled in loathing once she walked inside. She knew what she would see. But the moment she walked in and looked towards the brass section, and the moment her eyes landed on him, she was feeling the anger seep back underneath her skin. Practically burning her from the inside out, just because she was already so frustrated with today.

He was standing with the rest of the trumpets. They were arranged at the back of the band, in front of the percussion, just those seven chairs at the far end of the curve. Beth was saying something, handing him a large black case. It was one of the school-owned trumpets...the ones that were given when someone didn’t have their own. She was smiling as she handed it to him. Of course she would be the welcome committee; she was the first chair trumpet, usually. This year, they hadn’t yet had their first playing test to decide chairs...that was in two more weeks. But it was always pretty much guaranteed that Beth would be the one at the top.

The rest of the trumpets were gathering around him, too, all saying hi. A lot of them were laughing, and for some reason it just made Kay even more irritated. She veered for the woodwind closet to fish out her flute. Kayla was already there, getting out her own, and when Kay ended up standing by her in order to reach up and get her own instrument, she turned and gave her a smile. “Good morning!” she chirped. “How was the gov test? I have it in sixth hour…”

“It was alright…” Kay sighed, having to get on her toes to hop up and get her case out. She always put it on the lower shelf, but it always ended up way up here for some reason, by the next day. “It could have gone better, but...oh well,” she sighed. She gave her a smile. “But you’ll be fine. It wasn’t too bad.”

Kayla smiled. She did a small twirl and trailed after Kay as they started for their own section. Unfortunately, the second they did, Kayla’s eyes caught on Cameron, and the conversation was horribly redirected. “Ooh, is that the new kid?” Kay looked off to the side, just barely managing to avoid rolling her eyes. “I heard about him...someone said this morning he got Mister  _ Cissell  _ to smile, doing a card trick for him.” Mister Cissell smiled just as often as pigs flew. Kay didn’t believe it for a second. “I wanna tell him to stop by Mrs. Fay’s room and do one for her. You remember in homeroom last year? Someone did that pick a card thing, and she was practically  _ screaming.  _ Imagine what he’d make her do,” she snickered. Kay just nodded slowly, not saying much else. Her next roll of the eyes was even harder to avoid when Kayla whispered much more coyly: “And he’s so  _ cute _ ! Like,  _ look  _ at him! And he’s got a twin somewhere, apparently. That’s double the odds.”

“Right,” Kay huffed. “Sure.” Cameron was putting the mouthpiece into his trumpet. He must have just finished saying another  _ wildly funny  _ thing, because Beth was laughing again. She was ignoring them the best they could, but it was difficult to, with the fact that the trumpets were  _ right behind  _ the flutes. Because apparently she wasn’t going to get any peace and quiet today. Apparently she was  _ forced  _ to keep being in the presence of the new kid that everyone thought was perfect and great, but had so far just dropped her Government grade about three percent.

“You don’t like him?” Kayla kept hissing.

Kay kept her voice down too, glaring at her instrument as she pieced it together. “I don’t have an  _ opinion  _ about him!” she whispered. “I sure don’t  _ love  _ him like everyone else does, I just-” 

“Hey Kansas!” 

She felt her nostrils flare. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the name, because of how loud it was yelled, or because she immediately knew that name meant he was talking to her. She ignored him, knowing was easier said than done because of this morning, but figuring she may as well give it a shot anyway. She shoved her case under her chair and sat down, crossing her legs very stiffly as she glared straight ahead. Band still didn’t start for about ten minutes, when you take into account that people still had to set up. Only half of them were here, as it was. She didn’t hear Cameron again. She was relieved he got the  _ message,  _ this time. Still scowling, though, she leaned forward and started to get out her music and set herself up for class.

Or, she was trying to do so, before Cameron was suddenly popping up from behind her, grinning that stupid ear-to-ear grin like he had on this morning. Did he just  _ inject  _ coffee into his veins? He was still  _ just  _ as awake as he had been three hours ago. His voice was still just as bright when he leaned over to catch her eye. Or more or less force her to look at him, because she certainly wasn’t doing it herself. “Kansas!” he chirped, and her eye just twitched. He didn’t seem to mind. “Long time no see! Would you believe that I got here  _ all on my own? _ ”

“Hm,” she grumbled, clearly unimpressed. “Didn’t have an entourage?” She busied herself with flipping through her papers. Trying to find the piece they were going to work on today.

“No, I flew solo!” he exclaimed, like it was some huge achievement. “‘Cause this is the only room that says Band. And I just followed the sound of people warming up. I got here faster than _you_ did, though, so…” She didn’t reply. He grinned even more and leaned out so that he could hang over her stand, blocking her folder in the process. She closed her eyes briefly, before she looked at him with a stare that clearly begged ‘Please take a long walk off a short pier.’ “How was your big test? Couldn’t have been _super_ hard, it’s like, what...the third week of school?”

_ This  _ made her flare up. “It  _ was  _ hard,” she snapped, with enough reproach in her voice to get a little bit of the grin off his face. She felt a severe sense of satisfaction when she did, and she yanked her stand closer, Cameron getting off it to avoid capsizing. He was looking more put-out by the second. It wasn’t like she cared, though. “I don’t know how I did. I didn’t get to  _ study  _ as much as I wanted to. Thanks to  _ you,  _ this morning.” 

Cameron weakened. His face fell even more. He hesitated, before he asked: “Was it...really bad?”

She went back to rifling through her papers. “ _ No.  _ I still did  _ fine,”  _ she grumbled. “Not that you’d be concerned at all. Don’t  _ you  _ have to get warmed up? And be in  _ your  _ section? Hate to break it to you, but that’s not a flute in your hand.” 

He looked down at his trumpet, and then back behind her where the others were. But when he looked back at her, what came out of his mouth wasn’t an apology or a goodbye, like she was hoping it would be. Instead, he just asked: “Hey, what lunch hour are you?”

Oh,  _ hell  _ no. “4C,” she growled shortly. If God loved her at all, or even remotely cared about her wellbeing, he would-

“That’s what me and Johnny have!”

Jesus Christ.

“I could introduce you to him,” Cameron kept going. “And we could sit together, to make up for this morning. You’d probably really get along with my brother- you two seem to be more on the same wavelength. He hates everything too.” This was said very teasingly, of course, but it still rubbed her the wrong way. Everything this kid was doing today was rubbing her the wrong way. She gritted her teeth even more and didn’t even look up from what she was doing. Her voice came out thin and curt. 

“No offense, but I’d rather not. Thank you, though.” 

He blinked. He seemed surprised. His face fell again, and this time it stayed there. His eyebrows knitted more together, and he hesitated, just looking at her awkwardly. After a second, he tried: “I...okay, I...just thought-” 

“Well, don’t,” she said, just as stiffly. 

Cameron stared at her, unsure. He thought for a moment, and started to open his mouth to say something, when there was a sudden voice to interject between them. “Cameron Black!” They both looked up to see Mister Messerli making his way over to them. He was wearing a huge grin, like he usually was, and Cameron regained his own when he saw it. The band director came to a stop in front of him and shook his hand. “It’s good to see you again, especially in this band,” he said. Kay looked back down at her stand, sighing slowly through her nose. “You’re getting to know some of your new band members?” She looked up with this, realizing he was looking at her, now, expectantly.

She started to scramble for something to say. But Cameron beat her to it. “Oh, yeah,” he said. She glanced at him, and he smiled at her. “Kay was telling me where to go for practice after school. I have no idea. She’s been really helpful.” Messerli smiled at this, and nodded approvingly at Kay. She blinked a couple times, before she looked back at her teacher and smiled a little uneasily. “Everyone’s been really nice, I’m really looking forward to all this.” 

“Well, good! Good! We’re all a family, here,” the teacher replied approvingly. Kay felt a certain sting of something akin to embarrassment spark to life in her chest. “I’m glad you’re excited.” He took in a quicker breath and moved on more to business. “Alright, uh...you can pick wherever you’d like to sit in your section, for now, I’m sure Beth’s given you the rundown. It’s exactly a week until our first playing test, so- oh, I should get you the piece you’ll have to play. Give me one second, I’ll be right back.”

The pair watched him head back into his office, to fetch the music. Kay looked back at Cameron, awkwardness and tension between them, now. She frowned, and started to try and scrounge something up to say. Before he, once again, beat her to it. And, surprisingly, just grinned at her a little teasingly as he said: “I really  _ don’t  _ know where to go for practice…” he hinted. His smile was back to growing over his face again. Like he couldn’t go very long before it came back like a boomerang. “So if you  _ could  _ help me out a bit with that little tidbit of information... _ family.”  _

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

She was just going to get a salad for lunch; she wasn’t all that hungry. Usually she didn’t even eat in the lunchroom. She brought her own lunch, and she went to the library instead, where it was much quieter, and people weren’t  _ screaming  _ back and forth at each other. But she’d been in too much of a rush this morning to pack one. She’d overslept by ten minutes, which had thrown it all off. So, it was obvious that her day had started out crappy, and it had only gotten crappier. At least she was a little more than halfway through it. She only had three more hours to go, after this. Biomedical science, Algebra, and then she tutored for the last hour of the day. 

But then again, she had marching band afterwards…

She just sighed and kept walking for the lunch line. However, she stopped short when she realized who was currently at the back of it. She held back a sigh when she instantly recognized him by the color of his hair. She had never run into someone as much as she was running into Cameron, and it was just his first day. She soured a little, but sucked it up, just dismissing it as she went to stand behind him. Crossing her arms over her chest and looking sourly off to the side, praying he wouldn’t turn and realize she was behind him. 

For a while, he didn’t. He was too focused on his phone to notice really anything at all, it seemed. He was wearing headphones, too, so he was blocking out the noise. Something that was actually pretty smart. Maybe that would help the headache she’d had ever since second hour. He looked up just a little bit to check how close they were to actually getting to the less-than-gourmet food, and he caught her accidentally sneaking another look at him. He did a small double-take, looking back at her briefly. Their eyes locked and she stuck her tongue hard into her mouth, irritation already flashing off of her. He blinked a couple times before he looked back front. She jerked back in a bit of surprise. Confusion spread over her face. She hadn’t known this kid for very  _ long,  _ but she was already awfully aware of how invasive he was. Now he was just looking away? Was he touchy about what happened at band?

Cameron looked at her again. She was still looking at him, and now he looked a little miffed. He reached up and plucked out one earbud, eyeing her very oddly. “Yeah, can I help you?” he asked cooly. 

She jerked again. She was going to get whiplash, with how many double-takes she was doing. “Can you  _ help me?”  _ she echoed. Cameron just made a face, gesturing vaguely, but it looked awfully similar to a ‘hurry up’ motion, and it made her even angrier. “No, you can’t  _ help  _ me. It’s been your mission today to bother me every chance you  _ possibly  _ get; if you wanted to help me, you would have started four hours ago.”

Cameron was still looking at her with that blank look that somehow still managed to come off as smug. “What the hell are you talking about?” he demanded dully. She just glared at him harder. He blinked a couple times, before he suddenly took in a deeper breath, understanding flashing through his eyes when he nodded a couple times. “You’re talking about my brother,” he corrected. Kay’s shoulders drooped a little. She looked over him a second time, and she connected the dots, remembering what he had said in passing this morning during Lit. “He’s more the ‘bothering you every chance he gets’ kinda guy.  _ That’s  _ Cameron.” He gestured to himself. “I’m Jonathan.”

Kay’s face fell. Embarrassment started to crawl over her face instead. “Oh...I….sorry, I just-”

“It’s fine.” He cracked a crooked kind of smile. A smile that was distinctly different than the sloppy one Cameron always wore. “I don’t blame you. Whatever Cam did, he probably deserved it, if I know my brother. And, unfortunately, I  _ do _ .” He looked back down at his phone. She kept staring at him, and it was growing increasingly obvious she was only getting more perplexed. Cameron practically radiated energy; he was like a seven-year-old that had just downed four tubs of frosting and seven liters of Mountain Dew. Jonathan looked exactly like him, but he was so... _ calm.  _ He was... _ overly  _ collected. Even the way he  _ talked  _ seemed muted. She was accidentally staring again. He looked at her and raised his eyebrows. “What?”

“Oh- no, I...it’s just weird, you’re…” She made a face. “You’re a  _ lot  _ different from your brother.” 

He snorted, and smirked again. Went back to scrolling through his phone. “Yeah, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that one, I could buy a house…” he sighed. “Cam likes to say it’s because we’re two halves of the same person. He claims he got all the...well, he calls it ‘fun’ traits, I call it the horribly annoying ones.” Kay smiled a little. “I’m the  _ boring  _ twin, he’s the one that never shut up. Together we make one  _ halfway _ -decent person.”

She nodded a couple times, figuring it at least made some kind of sense. Jonathan turned back front and this time he put his earbud back in and returned to whatever he was doing on his phone. Her eyes flickered to him a couple more times, but she never said anything else. She walked the rest of the line in silence and got her food. She went to get a drink she could keep with her until the end of the day. She checked out and started to maybe head for the library. When she stopped a little short, her attention catching elsewhere. 

Jonathan had headed out more towards the middle of the cafeteria. He was holding two plates of food in his hands, and she watched as Cameron rushed towards him. Seeing them both together, the differences were highlighted and neon signs seemed to flash. She could see the difference between Cam’s huge beam and Jonathan’s smaller one. Cam was talking in a rush, using his hands as he did and immediately launching into a story she could tell was long-winded, his eyes practically gleaming. The look Jonathan wore was a patient one. 

They turned and walked away together, Cameron still droning on as he took the second plate from Jonathan. She wondered what he was talking about. He certainly had a lot of stories he could tell, and it was only after fourth hour. She shoved the curiosity away, turning and heading the opposite direction they were going, to make for the library. 

She didn’t care what he was talking about.

As long as he wasn’t talking about her.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

It was hot. But, as usual, despite the heat, they were still out on the football field for marching band. They’d gathered up all their instruments and yard markers and some of the band had gone out to fetch the props. The rest of them were just waiting on the track, for the band director and the drum majors to get down here. It was taking them longer than usual. Well...it was taking them a long time. The ‘usual’ part unfortunately... _ was  _ pretty usual. For them, at least. The thought got Kay sighing with impatience. “I just wish they’d kick him out already,” she complained, looking down at Kayla, who was stretching before practice actually began. 

“Eric?” she asked, but the clarification was pretty moot. Of course it was Eric. There were three drum majors that led the band, and had been voted in by everyone else. Janet was a senior, and she conducted the second movement of their show. Mike, the very same genius that had been trying to coerce his way into Bagel Tuesdays, took the third movement. And Eric had been voted in as the third, with, ironically, the most number of votes. He conducted the first  _ and  _ fourth movement. At first, the team had been perfect, and the most picks. 

To most people, at least. Kay hadn’t voted for Eric, and this was  _ exactly  _ why: he wasn’t cut out for any responsibility at all. He was constantly missing school and practices, and when he wasn’t on the field he was off doing stupid stuff like drinking or partying or who knew what else. That’s why he’d gotten the most votes; it was just because he was popular. Now they were all paying for the stupid decision with a drum major that wasn’t even bothered to get to his own practice or learn his own conducting. Half the mistakes they made were because of him, and the fact he couldn’t conduct. The tempo got all mixed up, he started to stumble through it, and the next thing you know, the brass is knocking right into the woodwinds and there’s a pileup. He’d started out well, but it was just getting worse and worse. The entire band was in denial so far, thinking that it would get better. Kay was just frustrated the season had  _ just  _ begun and they were already doomed.

“Yeah,” she huffed. “They need to find someone to replace him.”

Kayla laughed. “‘Replace.’ I’d like to see them try and replace him this far into things.”

“The season just started,” she argued. “We could switch people up.” She shrugged. “Or just kick him out anyway. There doesn’t  _ need  _ to be a replacement.”

“Yeah, but three is better than two,” she pointed out, flopping back so she was just laying on the track, staring up at her. Kay made a face, but Kayla only shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe.  _ Something  _ should happen...but you know Messerli. Odds are he won’t do anything.”

Kay huffed, looking down and nudging her water bottle with her toe. Her eyes flickered up towards the brass section. Beth was with him again. Along with being the usual first chair trumpet, she was leader of the trumpet section, here. It looked like she was giving him a crash course on all things marching band, in the time they were taking to wait for the drum majors to actually work together and get down here. She was gesturing to the field and pointing down at the small piece of paper Cameron was holding that had every single direction he would be in in the show. Messerli had had to write him in, she was guessing. He’d be stuck on the end of some line...hopefully at least  _ near  _ the other trumpets. He wasn’t grinning like he usually was...he actually looked pretty overwhelmed. 

Kay made yet another face. Well. What did he  _ expect?  _ Hopping right into the middle of things?

The sound of a call got her attention elsewhere, as well as everyone else’s. Messerli was on his way down to the field, and the three students that were in charge of conducting were trailing behind. Janet was glaring daggers at Eric, not even trying to hide her irritation. Kay wondered what happened. Not that it really mattered...all that mattered was it was ruining their practice.  _ Again.  _ She just sighed and scooped up her flute to head to the middle of the field. 

And the practice went just as smoothly as she figured it would. They skipped doing the first movement altogether, because Eric was doing so poorly. Kay had her misgivings...she was almost a hundred percent certain that he was high, but what did  _ she  _ know? All she knew was every single time they got a five minute break he was just sitting there and staring off into space. And that there was one time, right in this middle of the third movement, he just  _ stopped  _ conducting, and started staring  _ then,  _ too. Janet and Mike were pissed off, and so was everyone else. The trombones started yelling at each other over something stupid, and everyone was tired halfway through, and whining about the heat. The trumpets were on the other side of the field; she had  _ no  _ idea what was going on with Cameron. But there were a couple times they had to stop because there was a mishap, and some kind of collision. She could only guess he was the reason. Wandering around trying to find his spot amongst other people that already knew where they were supposed to be.

One of their breaks, she was heading to the fountain to refill her water bottle, when she heard a muttered voice underneath all the other ones. Mostly people were talking to friends, trying to ignore how frustrated they were getting. Others were just openly complaining, sounding ticked off. But she heard someone else, and they were out of the ordinary. She turned and looked in its direction, side-stepping around someone else. She realized it was Cameron. He’d just sounded so different, she couldn’t really identify him at first.

He was leaning against the fence that surrounded the track. He looked tired and sullen. Very different from this morning. On the other side of the fence, she was surprised to see that Jonathan was there. Had he been here the entire time? It was going on their second hour out here. Cameron was grumbling, holding his head in his hands. “I suck at this,” he was growling. Kay deflated, feeling a little bad as she started to eavesdrop. She  _ felt  _ bad...but she didn’t stop. “I keep running into people. I don’t know what I was thinking coming in here; I’m just making everyone around me  _ mad _ .”

“Oh, so then they know how I feel 24/7,” Jonathan mused. Cameron flashed him a glare, and he smirked. But the smirk was quick to fade into sympathy. “C’mon, Cam, you’re doing fine. I’ve been watching...kinda.” Another glare, and another smirk. “It might take you a week or two...but looking at the dude conducting this band, I don’t think  _ you’re  _ the one dragging this band down.  _ You’re  _ gonna get better, but I don’t think he’s got much of a prayer. So...I don’t think this band in  _ general’s  _ got a prayer. You won’t make much of a difference.”

“That’s such a comfort,” Cameron gushed. “What would I ever do without you?”

“I dunno...I know without  _ you,  _ I’d be much more  _ relaxed _ .”

Cameron sighed, shifting and messing with the jacket he was still wearing. “I’m so  _ hot _ ,” he complained under his breath.

Jonathan blinked, looking him up and down. He sighed and leaned more against the fence, shrugging his shoulders and delving back into his phone. “Well,” he sighed. And shrugged again. “You know.”

Cameron huffed, rolling his eyes and pushing himself back up to stand. The five minutes was ending. He turned and started to plod back to the field, his arms swinging around loose. Kay heard him growl as he stomped back: “Yeah, I  _ know…”  _ Jonathan watched him go, his eyes flashing. He began to turn to go back to the bleachers, when he jerked and caught her eye. He looked at her and frowned, and she stiffened, shaking herself and rushing back the way she’d come. Feeling a rush of embarrassment she’d been caught snooping. Completely forgetting to refill her bottle, and just wondering what in the world that last part had meant.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

The week had dragged by slowly. It always did. But eventually it got to be Friday, and here they finally were. Kay had a test in Biomedical Science, and a paper due in Government...but it was Friday all the same. She could at least sleep in past five, tomorrow. It was the little things that you had to treasure. Like the peace and quiet she only got now in her  _ room.  _ Because no matter where she went, now, Cameron seemed to be  _ everywhere.  _ He was in her first hour, her third hour, he was in the lunchroom, he was at marching band, he was  _ always  _ in the halls; she felt like she saw him  _ every single passing period _ . He was laughing with a new group of people every day. Or running to catch up with someone if he  _ didn’t  _ have anyone yet. Or if none of those, he would always be with Jonathan. The two of them sticking together like they were tied at the hip.

If she didn’t  _ see  _ him, she was  _ hearing  _ about him, too. If the school was a newspaper, Cameron would be front page news. Apparently on Wednesday, Kayla had acted on her threat and she had introduced Cameron to Mrs. Fay. He’d done some kind of ‘mind-blowing’ magic trick for her, and she’d screamed and dragged about three other teachers in the room for him to do it again. Of course, he had been more than happy to oblige. Thursday, he’d joined Mike in the attempted persuasion of ‘Bagel Tuesdays’ in Lit. He was just one of the many people that Cameron had been getting along with swimmingly. And they hadn’t exactly persuaded her yet, but they were doing their best to work on it, and they were certainly closer than they’d been before. That was also the day Lexi was there to ‘watch the marching band practice.’ She’d sat up with Jonathan in the bleachers and waved to Cameron every five minutes. Jonathan had been staring at her the entire time, with a very clear ‘Oh my God’ look. 

Not unlike Kay’s, whenever she’d noticed. 

It was only a week, but Cameron had cemented itself into the school like he’d been in their class throughout his entire educational career. Jonathan had too. He kept to himself, more so than Cameron. But still, the librarians knew him well because he spent so much time there. He was there before and after school, after sometimes because it got too hot while he was waiting out Cameron’s practice (she guessed they only had one car between the two of them) so he ducked in there, instead. He was already a favorite of his teachers, too. He was in her Biomedical class, and she hadn’t even noticed until Wednesday, because he sat in the other corner and didn’t make a single peep. 

She wished she could say the same for Cameron.  _ He  _ was still just as irritating as day one. In fact, the fact that he was already so instantly popular with practically  _ everyone  _ was just making him even more irritating. He was the best thing since sliced bread, to everyone else. To her, he could still take it down a few notches. He was constantly at a ten; she needed him more down at a three. Maybe four, if she was being generous. He constantly pestered her before first hour...so much so she just started to get to class about five seconds before the bell rang, just so she limited their time together. He still grinned at her in band and waved, like he hadn’t just seen her that morning. He still did random tricks for her...the other day at band practice she’d lost her phone, and he had proceeded to pull it out of her ear. 

It’d been hard to resist the urge to smack him, then. An urge that was ever-present.

But Fridays were better. Fridays had shorter practices. Only two hours, instead of the usual three. She could take that. She could take it and run with it. This practice, they were spending the first half hour in their sections. They’d been told it was so that they could get their basics all covered again before they went into practicing for the show. But everyone knew it was because Eric hadn’t made it yet, and they were just stalling until he decided to show up. Kay didn’t know what his excuse was  _ this  _ time. She’d seen him in the hall earlier, so he had to be around here  _ somewhere.  _ She decided not to worry about it. There was other stuff to focus on. She was co-section leader of the flutes, along with Jordan. They were running through their usual warm ups, when Kay was tapped on the shoulder. She turned to see Beth standing behind her. Beth and about half the trumpet section. That half  _ including… _

“Kay, can we steal you for a second?” Beth asked. “We’re gonna teach Cam the square dance but we need one more person.”

Kay frowned. But immediately, Cameron was beaming. “There’s a  _ square dance  _ in this show?” he practically whispered. 

Kay shot him a look. “You’ve been with this band for a  _ week,  _ and you didn’t know there’s a  _ dance  _ in it?”

Cameron gave her a mournful look. “I don’t know  _ quite  _ a lot of things, Kansas. If you wanna go over all of what I don’t know, we’re gonna be here for quite some time.”

“We just need one more person,” Beth hedged. “Jordan can take over the section, right?”

“Well...yeah, but…” Kay glanced at them skeptically. Jordan was already stepping in for her. Her shoulders slouched, and she held back a sigh as she turned and looked back at them. “Fine,” she relented, and Cameron brightened. “That’s not until the fourth movement, though. And it’s not like we’re going to get there or anything.” Beth just shrugged, and Kay broke away from her own section. She trailed after them and waited as Beth arranged all six of them into pairs. Placing Kay by Cameron and ignoring the way she crossed her arms immediately. 

As Beth arranged the others, Cameron inquired softly: “How was your test?”

“My what?” 

“You had a test in your science class today. Did it go over okay?”

“Oh…” She frowned. “It was good. I don’t...remember mentioning it.”

“You did on Tuesday,” Cameron recalled. “And you were studying a lot in Lit. So.” He was focusing more on Beth, who was starting to walk them through the dance. It was very simplistic, once you learned it and went through it a little. But she remembered learning it during band camp, and she remembered it had been awkward the first couple times. He was paying close attention. Kay studied him for a moment more, before she shook herself and let it go. Before she turned back to Beth and started listening herself. 

“Cameron, for where you’re standing, you’re just gonna wait while the other person in the pair goes into the middle, and they all spin around together. And then you’ll meet whoever’s closest to you...for now it’ll be Madi, but your real dance partner will be someone different. I’m not really...sure who your partner will be yet, but....it doesn’t matter right now, they’ll figure something out, I guess. Anyway, then you’re gonna grab their hand, and…” She tried to explain as best she could. And to her credit, it was almost as good as the original coaching they’d gotten from their instructor during camp. But it was a lot at one time. Cameron was frowning more and more the longer it stretched on. And when they went for a practice run-through, he was clearly daunted.

Kay filled in for whoever Cam’s partner would end up being. She was usually the opposite side of the dance, but it wasn’t rocket science. Cameron watched her a little blankly as she went into the middle and grabbed the others’ hands, to spin in a circle. She saw Madi reach out at the last second and grab Cameron’s hand, yanking him out of his standing position. He stumbled and whirled around and tried to do what they’d told him...grab the person’s hand next to him and swing through the next person and so on. But he stumbled and staggered. He got confused. By the time he and Kay met back together on the other side of the circle he was completely at a loss.

Nevertheless, she tried to save him, and grabbed his hands. She took the lead and started to cart him back around the square, and promenade back to where they’d started in the first place. They came to a stop and she could tell he was baffled. Kay nodded down to their instruments on the ground. “Then you have to pick it back up in four counts and turn back to the audience. That’s all there is.”

He stared at her, his eyebrows raising.  _ “That’s all there is?”  _ he demanded. He looked down at his trumpet like he’d never seen it before. “This is Swan Lake.”

“It actually isn’t,” she sighed. 

“It’s complicated.”

“No it’s not.”

“Not for  _ you,  _ I have two left feet. I don’t even remember the first step.”

“That’s why we’re going to practice it!” Beth cheered, ever the one to brighten up her section. 

And they did. They went through it over and over again. They certainly had the time to. And Cameron gradually got better. With each runthrough, it was smoother. Cameron was still a little clumsy, but he was getting better. He wasn’t stumbling or fumbling. He was at least following everyone else’s lead, and always getting to Kay by the end, which was the most important part of the entire thing. He’d grab her hands and swing around with her the way he was supposed to, and dance back to their spot in time to snatch his instrument back up. By the end, the baffled look on his face was gone, and he was grinning again the way he usually was. It only took about six or seven times to drill it in. Or at least drill it in  _ more  _ than it had been in before. 

They finished their eighth go, and ended perfectly again. When they stopped, Cameron cheered and did a little fist pump. Kay eyed him when he did, and she only eyed him  _ more  _ when he jabbed a finger at her. “I am  _ slightly better  _ than I was five minutes ago!” he said smugly, like it was something to celebrate. She rolled her eyes, and it just made him smile more. “That dance is so fun, though! Why haven’t we done it yet?”

“We haven’t even touched the first or second movement because of Eric,” Kay grumbled. 

He frowned. “Who’s Eric?”

“Yeah, exactly,” she huffed.

“The drum major for those sections. He’s terrible,” Beth groaned. “He went off the deep end halfway through band camp...nobody really saw it coming.” Kay rolled her eyes again, because  _ she  _ had. But she held her tongue. “Now Messerli is just trying to figure out what he wants to do,  I guess. But there’s not much he  _ can  _ do. The season already started. Everyone’s already written in...you can’t take anyone out unless you want  _ holes  _ in the forms. Or asymmetry.” Cameron frowned, looking towards the three podiums spaced out along the edge of field. “And Messerli always has this  _ thing  _ about three drum majors. Three drum majors with one bad one is better than two drum majors half the band can’t see on the far left of the field.” She hesitated before she doubled back and shrugged. “Well...that’s what he’s probably been thinking up to now. Not really holding…”

“So replace him,” Cameron offered. 

“Well  _ yeah _ ,” Madi piped up. Now they were just loitering. Kay had half a mind to get back to her own section. “But with  _ who?  _ He was voted in. We’d have to redo the whole tryout process. But it wouldn’t even be  _ worth  _ it because the people who tried out for drum majors were given roles as section leaders instead. They can’t leave. And if they  _ did  _ it’d be way too much trouble reshuffling people. And, like Beth said...everyone’s already been accounted for.”

Cameron made a face. He paused for a second or two. Kay was just about to turn and leave when he suddenly pointed out: “ _ I’m  _ not accounted for.” She whirled around at once, looking at him like he’d just announced that he was actually a rabbit in disguise, and this entire time they’d been none the wiser. Everyone else kind of stopped short, too. He wasn’t blind to the reactions. “I just...I  _ haven’t  _ been,” he laughed. Nobody said anything. “I got here... _ late _ . I had to just get kinda written into the show wherever I could fit. I wasn’t planning for when they were writing it, I could be taken out just as easily as I was put in. Plus...I mean, I  _ know  _ I’ve been driving all you guys crazy trying to play catch-up.” He looked back at the podium, seeming entirely unbothered. “If I was a drum major...all I’d have to do was figure out the tempo and...flail my arms around.” As if to demonstrate, he literally just waved his arms around like they were limp noodles. He almost smacked Beth. She hopped away, and he looked at her with a tiny jump and a, “Oh, sorry.”

Kay blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. Which wasn’t very tactful. “You can’t just  _ become drum major to a band you just joined.” _

He looked at her and frowned. “Why not?” he asked simply.

She was stretching for something to say. All she managed again was a stuttering: “You...you just  _ can’t become drum major to a band you just joined!” _

Everyone was looking from one person to other, like they were watching a tennis match, when Cameron just met it with another tiny: “Why not?”

“It...it doesn’t make  _ sense _ !” she blustered. Nobody else seemed to agree with her.

“Well, nothing’s impossible,” he reasoned. 

She spluttered, looking at him like he was speaking Spanish. She looked at everyone else for help, but they weren’t offering anything of the sort. In fact, Beth was smiling when she looked at Cameron, and a few other people were starting to take her lead. Kay looked at all of them and deflated. She looked back at Cameron, and she blew out her cheeks. Again, she just got out the first thing she could think of. And again, it wasn’t that stellar. “What about a talking marshmallow?” she demanded. Cameron blinked rapidly at the unexpected question; she didn’t care. “What about a talking marshmallow, Cameron, is  _ that  _ not impossible?”

He stared at her, saying nothing at first. Before he tilted his head to the side and mused: “Well, it just depends on what  _ language  _ the marshmallow is  _ speaking.”  _ The group laughed at the response, but Kay just blew out a huff. “Because if it’s Portuguese, then yeah, of  _ course,  _ but if it’s German, then we might have run into an issue here.”

“You’re infuriating,” she blurted out, without thinking.

He smirked. “You’re cute when you’re angry,” he countered, staying that bubbly cheerful.

She glared at him. Her glare only grew sharper when she realized that she was blushing. She opened her mouth, and held it open for about five full seconds as she looked for something to say. She didn’t quit manage it. Cameron’s smile started to grow. “You- you’re…” She was fuming too hard to get anything out. Eventually she just shook her head hard and let out a groan, turning and stomping her foot hard into the turf before she turned and stalked away. Her groan was so loud it almost covered up Cameron’s laughter as she did so.

Almost.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

“Hey Jordan?”

Jordan’s eyes flickered to Cameron; his voice came out in more of a mumble, because he was currently trying to balance a pencil on his nose. “What’s up?”

Cameron pursed his lips. He wasn’t quite sure how to word the question. “Does Kay…?” He couldn’t ask if she had any  _ friends _ ...that would just be rude. A tad bit too on-the-nose, even for him. It was clear that people liked her, there was no reason to  _ not.  _ But even still, she seemed to be...kind of a loner. He eventually managed a wording that made him sound the least horrible. Hopefully. “Does she  _ hang out _ with anybody? Like... _ usually? _ ”

Jordan thought for a moment. He and Kay were cool with each other...they kind of had to be, considering they were both at the head of the flute section. But come to think about it, he never really saw her hang out with anybody. At least in particular. Going  _ out of her way to. _ “I’m…not sure actually. She kinda likes to keep to herself. She talks to Kayla the most...but I think that’s just in band. Just ‘cause they’re by each other. She doesn’t go to any parties, either. She’s not that type of person, I guess.”

He frowned at the answer. He figured that was what he was going to get, but still. The moment the frown weighed over his face, his eyes were catching elsewhere. He straightened at first, before he just stood all the way up. “Thanks Jordan. I’ll see you later,” Cameron said as he picked up his school bag.

“No problem. See you later, Cam.”

Cameron walked over to Kay’s locker. She was juggling so many books and trying to cram them all into her shelves at once, that in the process, her hands fumbled and she dropped her pen. He reached her in just enough time, and, like the speed of light, Cameron had caught it before it hit the ground, “Ta-da!” He waited for a reaction of some sort...the feat was  _ kind of  _ impressive. But she just looked at him oddly, kind of like she was a deer in headlights at his sudden appearance. He beamed and offered her pen back to her. She took it back without saying anything. He did the honors of breaking the ice. “Do you have a ride home?”

She eyed him. Turned back to her locker to finish putting everything away. “No, I’m walking.” 

He frowned a little, just watching her quietly. It wasn’t until she was shutting her door and making sure it was locked before he asked: “Mind if I walk home with you?”

Kay jerked at the question. “What?”

“I mean, it’s a small town. I guess...any town is small when you compare it to New York, but...I doubt we live that far away from each other,” he tried to say. “I mean...if you don’t have anyone to walk home with, that is.” There was another brief pause, before he pressed: “...Do you? Have someone to walk with?”

“I don’t,” she said bluntly. Immediately kicking herself when she realized she had just rashly given him the perfect opportunity to talk to her. 

Cameron lit up. “Well then! I think that works out nicely! I can tell Johnny to go on ahead and we can just walk together!” His grin seemed to triple, which made Kay bite her tongue to avoid saying something she’ll regret. But her self-chosen silence wasn’t sitting all that well with him. Silence hardly ever did. “So wadda you say, Kansas?” She twitched at the very  _ undesired  _ nickname. “Want to walk home with me? I live by Jadu Avenue.” Jadu Avenue? That was just a few blocks from her street. Oh no, were they neighbours too? “What about you?”

Well, there was no use lying. He’d figure it out eventually. He may be annoying but he certainly wasn’t dumb either. Most of the time. When he actually wanted to help it. “Regina Road.”

His grin somehow widened even more. “No way! That’s only three blocks from my place! Kansas, are we  _ neighbours _ ?”

“We still have three blocks between us,” she was quick to remind.

“Meh.” He shrugged. “Close enough.” That stupid dimpled grin didn’t seem to be leaving his face any time soon “This is great! This means we can walk home together everyday! Well...maybe not everyday, I simply  _ can’t  _ have Jonathan getting jealous on me. Maybe we could give you rides sometimes.” Kay didn’t really know what to make of his enthusiasm. It make her think that maybe she should start using her car to get to and from school.

“Thanks but I do have my own car,” she said, giving him a polite smile.

“Do you have it with you  _ today _ ?”

“No.”

He placed a hand over his heart. “Then far be it from  _ me  _ to allow a lady to walk home by herself.”

“I’m sure you could make an exception just this once,” she attempted. Probably in vain.

“Oh no, my fair lady.” He spoke in a fake posh accent. “I couldn’t  _ possibly  _ allow you to brave these suburban streets on your own. Who  _ knows  _ what  _ dangers  _ lurk?” Kay raised her eyebrows at him. She had a few more choice words to say, but she figured they would all be wasted. She just gave up and turned for the front exit of the school, sighing that if he wanted to walk with her, he’d better keep up. She barely wanted him there in the first place; she wasn’t going to slow down for him. And maybe if she walked just a little bit faster than normal it’d be over quicker... 

At first they walked in silence. Not entirely  _ uncomfortable  _ silence. But...it was a little uncomfortable. Eventually, of course Cameron was the one to speak. Trying to pump conversation into the quiet that existed between them as he so often did. “So… Kay. Where ya from?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa Dimples...I don’t do backstory.”

Cameron let out a chuckle. “Dimples?”

Kay shrugged, “Well, you have dimples, don’t you? Can’t  _ I  _ give you a stupid nickname you don’t want?” He made a face, before he tilted his head to the side as if to say ‘Well, ya got me there.’ She quickened her steps, slightly proud that she had come up with that so fast. “What about you?” She wasn’t a fan of the limelight, but Cameron was. She didn’t want to talk about herself...maybe if she redirected the focus to be on  _ him,  _ he’d talk for the rest of the trip and that’d be that. “Where are you from?”

The blue-eyed teen shrugged. “Johnny and I were born in New York and raised there...but we were always being moved around different parts of the state, so Johnny and I never really... _ settled _ anywhere, you know? Our lives have always been on the road, I guess you could say. We never stayed anywhere too long for anything really long-lasting.”

Kay felt a twinge of empathy. She had lived in this town most of her life...but she’d never felt she had anything “lasting” with anyone. She could almost relate. Almost. “That sounds lonely,” she finally said.

Cameron gave a little side smile. Not one of his usual ones. “No. It was kinda fun… besides, I had Johnny.” Kay gave him a quick look. Cameron cleared his throat. To her surprise, he was shouldering the attention  _ back  _ to her. “So what about you, Kansas? Any brother or sisters?”

The question was innocent, but it smacked her across the face. Kay’s walking halted for merely half a second before she started walked again. “No,” she said, and her voice accidentally ended up coming out crisp and cold. Her steps quickened. Cameron had noticed the slight falter in her steps, and looked at her a little close for a second or two. But he decided to ignore it it and sped up to match her brisk pace again. “It’s just me and my parents”  _ Sometimes not even my parents _ . She was surprised that that last part had almost slipped out. She looked away, focusing on the trees instead of the way Cameron was looking at her.

“What are they like?” Another innocent question that got her feeling more on-edge.

_ Couldn’t really tell you if I wanted to _ . She shrugged. “They’re parents.” She had to wonder, if Cameron was so… _ Cameron _ , and Jonathan was so…  _ Jonathan _ … then what exactly were their parents like? Were they polar opposites too? Split straight down the middle? “What about you?” Again, she was just throwing his own question right back at him. “What are your parents like?”

Cameron was surprisingly quiet. She looked at him with the unexpected gap, and realized he was studying the concrete. “Uh...” A frown started to trace over Kay’s face. For once, it looked like Cameron had nothing to say. Which was... _ odd.  _ “They’re parents too… I guess,” he managed after that pause. “There’s not really...too much to say!” He ended this brightly, and with another smile. But both of them seemed weird. A little forced, if she knew him at all. But...Kay reflected she  _ didn’t  _ really know him all that well. Who was she to wonder what he was talking about? She had no idea. And it wasn’t like she had much of a leg to stand on...considering she was just as averse to talking. If she questioned him, he’d question her right back. She didn’t want that.

So she didn’t say anything else. And, even more surprisingly still, neither did Cameron, for the most part.

The rest of their walk ended up being in an uncomfortable silence. Cameron tried to make a few funny quips now and then but there was just a murky air around them now. Each one was a little weaker...not as bubbly, or genuine. Once he realized Kay wasn’t laughing, he stopped trying. Neither of them knew what to say, or think. Neither of them knew if they had the right.

It was funny that just by saying so little, they both learned a little more about each other. 

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

It was the very end of September when it finally happened. When the ball finally dropped, like they’d all been waiting for. The second it happened, it was like a fuse was lit, and the entire thing was burned up throughout the entire marching band. Eric was caught with weed in his locker and he was suspended. Or...at the very  _ least  _ he was suspended. Some kids were muttering about expulsion, some were whispering about jail time. But whatever the outcome would be, that wasn’t being worried about as much as the  _ other  _ concerning topic was being discussed. In very panicked tones.

They were missing a drum major. And their first competition was in two weeks. 

It wasn’t like they were doing fantastic  _ with  _ Eric. But they were getting better at working with him. It  _ was  _ nice to have drum majors on every space of the field, and as long as he was paying attention and just followed the lead of the other two, they did pretty alright. The whole show was done, by now, and they could go through and polish stuff, now. Cameron wasn’t causing pileups in the back, so that was nice. They were just beginning to find their actual stride, and now the rug was pulled out from under their feet. Now what were they supposed to do? Now they had to get used to a blind spot on one end of the field. Now they had to reangle themselves and adjust to only two drum majors, now Janet and Mike had to figure out who was getting those parts and how they were going to switch. 

But as soon as the news was whispered, and as soon as the worries started to crop up, something else started to crop up too. Other whispers, that she should have seen coming but was still surprised at its instantaneousness. 

“You know…Cameron had a point, way back then…”

“Maybe Cameron could be a good replacement...can he conduct?”

“If he could conduct, I’d vote for him.”

“He seems like a good fit.”

“He  _ is  _ kind of just shoehorned in, there...I mean, it might work.”

By practice, it had spread like wildfire. The instant Cameron was walking through the door, everyone was on him, asking if he’d heard the news. He’d made a lot of friends, so far...at this point, she was fairly certain he got along with everyone in the entire band. He was so annoyingly charming that he was probably making good pace in getting to know the entire school. If he figured out he hadn’t met someone, or someone didn’t like him, he went insane. Which was probably why he constantly bugged Kay. Who watched from the sidelines as everyone encouraged him to talk to Messerli. She didn’t join in; she just listened. Cameron was surprised, though he really should have heard everyone gossiping about this before now. Surely it had gotten back to him somehow. Maybe he was just playing it off.

She got her things together and just set down for the field. It wasn’t until she was halfway there that she heard a call echo its way over to her. “Kansas!” She tipped her head back in clear frustration, but she knew there was no outrunning or ignoring him. She might as well be trying to avoid the plague in medieval Europe. She turned around to see Cameron running up to her. He was juggling his trumpet case, his water bottle, and about three yard markers, helping tote it all down from the band room. He was going to fall and break his neck, but Kay wasn’t so lucky. He made it to her, puffing overdramatically to get his breath back. He gave a her a toothy grin. “The rumor mill’s a’runnin’.” 

“It always does,” she returned. She looked behind Cameron to see Jonathan wandering up after him. People joked that he might as well be in the band, for all he was attending practices. Ninety-nine point nine percent of the time he was sitting on the sidelines waiting for Cameron to be done, very patiently, either buried in his phone or in a book, or doing homework. He was doing his part in helping...by carrying one yard marker. He looked very disinterested. But when he eyed his brother, there was a certain softness to his expression Kay didn’t typically see any other time. “Wasn’t really a huge surprise,” she offered, looking back at Cameron.

“It’s true, then? Eric was caught with the ol’ Mary Jane?” The way he asked this made her think of some outdated grandpa.

“Yup.” Her voice was a little flat.

“The Bammy? The Blanket? The Doobie?”

“Cameron…”

“He had that Broccoli? The Flower? The Hot Stick, the Jolly Green?”

“Please stop,” she grumbled.

“The Chronic? The Blunt?”

“Why do you know all of these.” It wasn’t even a question, that’s how flat her voice was.

_ “He had the Devil’s Cabbage!?” _

_ “Cameron, okay, enough!”  _ He burst out laughing at her yell, and she found she had to make a significant effort not to smile, and glare at him instead. But the way he grinned, she could tell she wasn’t as effective as she might have hoped. She shook her head, turning and picking up on walking to the field. He hopped after her, and Jonathan joined. “He  _ was _ ...and now we don’t have a third drum major,” she sighed, once they did. “Which is going to be weird...we’ve always had a third.” She looked at Cameron as she said this; his expression didn’t change at all. There was a stretch of silence before she hedged: “But...you wouldn’t believe how many people are talking differently.” Still, he was quiet. She glanced at him again when she prompted: “Are you really gonna talk to Messerli?”

“I dunno…” He looked at her too, and she was surprised to see a bit of nervousness on the edges of his expression. He wasn’t smiling, he actually looked on-edge. She hadn’t seen him like that very often. “I was just...talking, that one day. You probably have a point, I can’t just... _ waltz in... _ probably.”

She hesitated. Before she studied the ground. “I don’t know,” she said a little off-handedly. “I think... _ I  _ probably couldn’t do it. Not when I’m…” He frowned, looking at her a little closer. She shook her head. “But...everyone likes you. To a fault. Probably.” This was said only half-jokingly. His nervousness broke into more of a smirk. “I don’t know, if you could conduct it...I mean, that’s all that matters. You’d be easy to take out...you’re already forcing some of the guard to stop their routine just so you have people to dance with.” Silence cropped up between them. Before she cleared her throat and shrugged one shoulder. “It wouldn’t hurt to offer. Or ask what Messerli is thinking of doing.”

“You think I’d be good?” The question was soft, and hesitant. It caught her off-guard.

She looked at him, looking a little awkward. He was staring at her so solemnly, that for a heartbeat she didn’t really know what to say. She paused, and they just looked at one another as they walked. Suddenly she was very aware of how close they were walking. She straightened up and walked a pace out and looked back front. Her voice was stiffer when she amended: “I think you’d be  _ okay.” _

Cameron smiled.

Jonathan piped up from where he was on the other side of him. “Well,  _ I  _ think you’d  _ suck,  _ Cameron.”

He immediately grinned even wider, when he turned to him. “Aw,  _ thanks,  _ Johnny!”

“Hey, I’m only here to help.”

“You’re only here to be  _ eye candy _ ,” Cameron drawled. “ _ Look _ at you, you’re not even  _ carrying  _ anything, really.”

Jonathan remained just as aloof. “This is true,” he reasoned aloud.

It made Cameron burst out laughing.

Kay cracked her own smile, and a tiny giggle.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

Eric was gone on a Wednesday, and it was Friday when practice was cancelled and the auditions for the new replacement drum major was scheduled, instead. There weren’t as many people trying out. Most of who hadn’t made it now had sections to run. All that was left were the truly bottom-of-the-barrel contestants they’d had before, who hadn’t had a chance of making it then...and Cameron Black. Going in, everyone knew who they were voting for. Kay could practically feel the disinterest in the air when the other students did their sample conducting them through the Star-Spangled-Banner, and then did their question and answer section. Hardly anyone even had any  _ questions  _ for them at it was. 

But everyone perked when Cameron approached the podium and gave that smile he always gave when he was nervous. Distinctly different from his normal one, but still somehow the same as before, too. Kay didn’t know how he would be, conducting. She’d never seen him even try, before. But she should have  _ known  _ it would come easy to him, just like  _ everything else  _ seemed to. He conducted them fine throughout the anthem...there weren’t any huge mistakes or slip-ups. All of the contestants were pretty much the same, it really just came down to a popularity contest. After all, that was how Eric got through. Before he’d gone off the rails, he was the most popular person in band, so he was a shoe-in. Now that Cameron was here…

Jordan was first to raise his hand to ask Cameron a question. He asked the first question that was  _ always  _ asked, and he knew it, too, as he pretty much sang: “How do you think  _ you  _ can make  _ this band  _ a  _ better band?”  _ The students snickered a little at this, and Cameron cracked a smile, too. The longer he was up there, the more comfortable he seemed to get. Surprise, surprise, he loved the limelight.

“I’d make this band better by getting off the  _ field,”  _ he returned, and everyone laughed again. “I kinda messed you guys all up in the first place, by coming here; the least I could do is fix it.”

“You think you can get the hang of it all fast enough before our first competition?” Janet demanded, a little more roughly. “You think you can replace Eric?”

“I mean…” Cameron mumbled awkwardly. “Pretty sure  _ anyone  _ could replace Eric.” But he was quick to sober and reassure: “Yes, I can. Easy peasy.” 

Kay raised her hand. He smiled a little as he pointed to her. When she asked her question, her voice remained even and in check. Not hostile, by any means, but she thought it was an important inquiry. “What do you like about our band?” she asked. He straightened. “You haven’t been in it for very long. And it means quite a lot to all of us, who have been here. Why should we let you lead it?” She gave him a silent look, as she asked this. She thought she already knew the answer. She was fairly sure, anyway. She’d encouraged him to do this in the first place. She was asking the question so everyone else could hear his answer.

And sure enough, silence met the question that was very different, and not run-of-the-mill. They looked at Cameron intently, waiting for his response. It took him a second to gather his thoughts enough for it. “Well...you’re right. I...haven’t been here for very long.” She looked at him steadily, and he didn’t look away. “But...in the time I’ve  _ been  _ here, it’s been really nice. It’s a lot of work and a lot of effort, and so far there hasn’t been any payoff for it...but I like it. I like being with...all of you guys. And I’ve seen how tough it’s been for you all, and I feel like if I could just...do something to fix it, I would want to. Or if I could be a part of the reason we  _ start  _ to get that payoff...that’d be nice…”

He hesitated before he defined it some more. “I like the people.” His smile grew warmer when he said this, and Kay found that she was smiling back at him a little. “You all are really nice, and welcoming, and I’ve already made so many good friends. Still working on a couple,” he added, a little slyly as his eyes flashed. Kay opted to ignore the small jab. “But yeah. The music is nice...and the marching is fun. But...I just like you guys. I like this band. Just...the whole thing. The whole enchilada.” He shrugged. “And if I don’t get the position, I don’t get it. I’m just happy to be involved as it is.”

It took the band less than three minutes to vote. And thought they wrote their choices on slips of folded-up paper, there was no wondering what your neighbor wrote down. The instant they were released, and Cameron untangled himself from all his friends that rushed for him, he rushed out into the hall. Kay was just leaving when she caught sight of him running at Jonathan, who was waiting by their car, and crashing into him with a big hug. She could hear his excited voice all the way from over where she was. “I did good! I think I did good! I think I maybe got it!”

She saw Jonathan smile, from ear-to-ear this time. Not quite exactly like Cameron’s, but closest it’s been yet.

When she turned and made for her own car, she’d worn the tiniest grin as well.

The very next day, results were posted. And Cameron Black had officially become the third drum major to their school’s marching band. 

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

There was a learning curve. But there was always expected to be some. The first two practices, give or take, and Cameron was rocky. He was mostly okay, but he would make a mistake here and there. He’d give the wrong cue or stumble over a beat, but he would immediately be apologizing and shaking his head. Mumbling to himself to shape up, like that would do the trick. But he got better and better. By his fourth practice, he could fake his way through the movements so well that anyone would think he’d been there the entire time. The other movements, the second and third, he could just watch Janet and Mike, the main conductors, which was easier. The first and second, which he lead, would have to be worked on, but it would be. And it was. 

It was just a lot better...everything-else-wise. Nobody was angry or irritated anymore. Nobody was snapping at each other or waiting on the drum majors or blaming other people for their mistakes. Cameron was a tiny sun radiating cheerfulness all the time as it was; this way, he was just radiating straight down on the band, now. When they were on their sixth runthrough, and burning up, he was still smiling, loudly and happily declaring that his arms were dead. He was the first one into practice and the last one to leave, helping set up and tear down. He constantly jumping down from the podium to run to his friends when breaks were called. Kay even caught sight of him a couple times in the lunchroom looking over their music. It was a very good change. She was happy it was this way, now.

Currently, Kay was standing behind the percussion at the front of the field. Messerli had paused practice to go backfield and help sort out some issues that the brass were having in hitting their spots. It left her up here, seperated from her section with nothing to do, and she was just taking to staying at the microphone they’d set up in front of her boredly. She hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. She was hoping the rest of the practice would go by fast.

Cameron was sitting on the podium so his legs were hanging over the edge and swinging a bit. He was looking down at her curiously, and piped up after a second or two. “So when you do your solo, can I like...cue you in by pointing at you like  _ this?”  _ He made a huge show of practically flailing his arms down towards her. 

She cracked a dry smile. “Please don’t.”

“I’m the drum major, you can’t tell me how to cue people,” Cameron argued, and she just shook her head. “Okay, how about this...I just straight-up fall on top of you.” He said this very nicely.

“No,” she returned, just as sweetly. 

He grinned. Then nodded towards the microphone. “You’re really good,” he said. She looked up at him with a bit of surprise, and he hurriedly elaborated. “With your solo. The music? You’re really good, I don’t think I’ve told you yet. Which is a little rude of me. So. Sorry ‘bout that.”

“Oh.” She shuffled her feet. Tucked her hair more behind her ear. “Thanks.”

He nodded a couple times. Messerli was still working way back there. Kay was suddenly wishing she could go back to the rest of the band. Her eyes flickered back up to Cameron, and she frowned a little when she saw that he was fidgeting with his jacket. He was tugging at the sleeves and fanning it out with a bit of a pinched expression. She hesitated, before she piped up again, earning his attention back down towards the ground. “You know, if you’re always hot, maybe you should consider  _ not  _ wearing a jacket. And jeans.” He always wore something to that effect.

He stared at her for a second, not reacting. Before he cracked a small grin. “Now that’s just  _ crazy talk _ ,” he chirped. She only raised her eyebrows. He gave up and shook his head. “It’s not hot, it’s getting colder out,” he reasoned. She couldn’t argue with him, really. But still, she was wearing a short-sleeved shirt and she was a little warm with all this moving around they were doing. Cameron wasn’t marching, but you worked up a sweat conducting, she knew. “All the leaves are changing color, and pretty soon it’ll get even colder, and then the leaves will fall, and I don’t mean to alarm you, but Halloween is practically tomorrow.”

She snorted. “I bet that’s your favorite holiday. Plenty of candy for you eat and then you’ll  _ never  _ come off it. That’s probably why you’re always so hyper; you’re still riding the high from _ last year’s _ Halloween.”

“Do my ears  _ deceive me _ ?” he demanded, sounding horribly aghast. “Did...did Kay Daniels just...did Kay Daniels just make a  _ joke?”  _ She rolled her eyes and looked away to hide her smile. He caught it anyway. “I think she did! I think Kansas Daniels just told me  _ joke!  _ I am going to  _ mark my calendar!  _ October fifth, 2018, Kay Daniels told me a joke...and it was  _ almost  _ funny, but I’ll still give it to you.” He paused a second before he corrected: “And anyway, you’re  _ dead wrong,  _ my favorite holiday is Christmas, so. Check yourself.”

“Ah, I’m  _ so  _ sorry, please forgive me,” she implored sarcastically.

He only shifted to cross his legs, and shake his head. “I’ll have to think about it, let me get back to you,” he sighed. She smiled again, and this time she wasn’t as bothered in trying to hide it. And Cameron saw it, but he didn’t draw any more attention to it. He just flashed her one last smile before he looked back over to where Messerli was, to see if he was almost done with his instructing. She watched him as he did, and she watched as he tugged the sleeves of his jacket down more over his wrists. Her smile faded a little as more thought seemed to cloud over her face instead. But she quickly lost it as Cameron stood up and Messerli could be heard calling the band back together. 

It slipped her mind.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

Kay had gotten up late on accident. She slept straight through her alarm. She’d tried to make up time by literally  _ flooring it _ to get here, but she was still running to her locker and practically tearing everything out. She had less than two minutes to make it to class before the bell rang. Now was when the hallways were mostly cleared out, just a most obvious reminder that you were horribly late and the odd person out. She was hardly ever this close to the bell, and, a little irrationally, her heart was hammering. She hadn’t been late before. Not since freshman year. Here she was, being irresponsible. A junior, and she was going to be late, this was just perfect.

The hallway was completely empty as she tried to rush as fast as she could to Literature. Shockley was a laid-back teacher, Kay was certain she wouldn’t have too many bad things to say about this, especially to her. But still, she was already guilty. It was a complex. And as she rushed along, practically tripping as she went, she was grumbling to herself, gripping the strap of her bag with a death grip. “Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap-”

“Kay!?” 

She jerked, skidding to a stop at her name. She blinked and looked all around, but there was nobody to see. She spun in a tiny circle, scanning the entire hall. It was empty. She made a face, just beginning to think she was hearing things, when the voice came again. “Kay, is that you?” She turned, deadpanning as she recognized the voice. And deadpanning even more, somehow, when her eyes landed on the spot she could have sworn the voice was coming from. She was staring right at a locker. And sure enough, after a couple seconds, Cameron’s voice leaked out from the inside of it. “Kay?”

“Cameron, what the fuck,” she growled, and despite her curse, he was immediately brightening up. Or...she thought so, anyway. She couldn’t see him.

“Kay! I  _ knew  _ I couldn’t mistake your constantly-stressed voice!” Her scowl worsened. He was oblivious. “Hey, buddy, could you, uh...could you help me out of here? I seem to be...and this is just my  _ expert opinion... _ but I seem to be a stuck in a bit of a pickle, here. Just a small one.”

“Cameron, I’m  _ late!”  _ she whined, stomping her feet on the ground.

“Hey, what a coincidence!” he cheered. “I’m late too. And I’m gonna  _ stay  _ late. ‘Cause...Kay, I’m in a locker.” 

“Cameron,  _ why  _ are you in a locker!?”

“Jonathan bet me I couldn’t get out of his locker if I was put in it!” he yelled. Two full seconds of silence passed, before he mumbled much softer: “And I’m starting to think he was correct…”

“Oh my God,” she hissed under her breath. She glanced down the hall, towards where their class was. Closed her eyes tightly, and hung her head. Before he sucked in a sharper breath and stomped over to the locker his voice was coming out of. “Well, what am I supposed to do!?” she demanded. “I can’t get in there. Don’t you know magic tricks or something? Can’t you just...get out of there?”

“Aw man, why didn’t I think of that!?” he wailed, being awfully sarcastic for someone that was depending on her at the moment. He must have sensed her displeasure, because he righted himself and kept going. “I’m trying to text him and ask for the locker combination! You can put it in.” 

“Oh my God,” she just repeated. The bell rang. She grimaced and whined and hit her head on the locker with a dull thunk. She scowled at the tiny “Ow” that resulted. She waited, not at all patiently. A full thirty seconds passed in complete silence, before she was snapping:  _ “What in the world is taking so long!?”  _

“I’m sorry!” Cameron yelped, whining himself. “He’s being  _ mean!” _

“What?” she hissed through clenched teeth.

“He’s being mean, he says he won’t give me the combination until I admit he’s the older twin.”

“Until you…” She picked her head back up, to stare at the locker like it was the stupidest thing in the world. Rather than the truth: it was just  _ containing  _ the stupidest thing in the world. “Until you  _ what!?”  _ she demanded. Cameron said nothing. She smacked the locker this time, and he yelped even louder. “How in the world is that a difficult thing to do!?”

“Don’t hit the locker, the noise scares me,” he piped back. She kicked it. He yelled back once he recovered: “He’s  _ not  _ the oldest, though,  _ I  _ am!”

“If we’re going by maturity level, you are  _ not.” _

“I’m going by time and physics, and the position of the moon and the sun.”

“Cameron, I swear to  _ God _ , if you don’t just get the combination from Jonathan I am leaving.”

Another tiny space of silence. Before she got a very sullen and short: “Fine.” 

She rolled her eyes, grumbling under her breath as she glared down the hallway, wishing she’d just kept walking. Sure enough, what felt like ages later he was muttering a very put-out set of numbers to her. “38-2-15,” he pouted. She immediately started to put in the combo. She messed up once because she was so angry. She had to restart, shaking her head hard as she did. She’d have a couple choice words to say to Jonathan in their science class later. But for now she just yanked open the locker and Cameron literally fell right out of it. She didn’t catch him. She just stepped to the side and watched him hit the ground, still with  that same scowl. 

He picked himself up off the ground, grinning huge, completely unbothered. “Thanks, pal!”

“I hate your guts,” Kay growled, shrugging past him hard. He stumbled a little, before he spun around and rushed after her. 

“You don’t hate me,” he objected. “Otherwise you would have kept walking. You try to pretend you do, but I don’t think you hate me, Daniels.”

She rolled her eyes. She was fostering that habit, with him, she knew. “Then you’re even dumber than you look.”

“I don’t look dumb,” he argued. “I may  _ be  _ dumb...but I don’t  _ look  _ it. I look  _ cute.  _ Like...throw-up cute. When something looks so cute you wanna be  _ sick,  _ that’s how cute I am.”

“You made me so late,” she ignored. 

“We’re  _ both  _ late, we will suffer this trial together. Never let go, Daniels.”

“You’ve made my life so complicated,” she muttered, mostly to herself.

However, he had a counter: “The word you’re looking for is _ ‘fun’, _ and you’re  _ welcome.” _

She had a particularly stinging retort to throw back at him. But just then he was reaching out and opening to the door to their classroom, and they were stepping inside. The entire class was scattered around the room, and already talking up a storm. Kay checked the clock and realized they were seven minutes late, somehow. Class had started a long time ago, and it was clear by the way everyone was everywhere. She had no idea what was going on. She was trying to remember if there had been anything scheduled today. A timed write? A book discussion? An activity? What?

Nothing was planned, except for that they were…

Oh…

Oh  _ no… _

“Mr Black. Ms Daniels. How nice of you to join us.” Mrs Shockley was sitting at her desk, but upon their entrance, had turned to throw the pair a small smirk. The attention of the class went to them immediately, and reflexively, Kay weakened under the scrutiny. She tensed and just ducked her head a bit, wasting not time before making her way to her seat. Cameron only gave his stupid smile and flashed a peace sign as he made his way to the seat next to her.

Their teacher, of course, didn’t seem mad. It wasn’t a shock. She hadn’t been mad that time Mike wrote a poem about macaroni and cheese that could be taken as something very  _ different  _ if read in the correct way. She hadn’t been angry then, so why would she be angry now? But still, out of sheer habit, Kay was attempting to apologize. “I’m sorry Mrs Shockley, you see-” 

She stopped talking when the teacher raised her hand and gave a tiny amused smile. “It’s quite alright. Sometimes things can be out of our control. Considering that this is the first time either of you have been late, I’ll let it slide.” Kay sagged with relief, blowing out a tiny sigh. However the respite was quick to leave as their teacher went on. “Unfortunately, by now, everyone’s already split into partners for our next assignment.” Kay looked at Cameron with wide eyes. He wasn’t yet putting the dots together, apparently, but she was. Shockley smiled even more at her reaction. “Awfully convenient the two of you were late  _ together.  _ You two are the only ones that don’t have a partner, now. I hope you two can get along.”

Kay’s stomach dropped.  _ No. No, this wasn’t happening.  _ She turned, realizing that Lexi was sitting at the other end of the room with Amanda, and she was currently shooting jealous daggers at Kay. She wanted to argue in any way she could. She wanted to tell Lexi she could  _ have  _ him if she wanted. She wanted to beg  _ anyone else  _ to switch partners with her. She even wanted to beg her teacher to let her do the project by  _ herself!  _ But Cameron was already answering, before she could do any of those. “Oh, we’ll get along just fine. In fact I’d say we’re already the best of friends.” Kay whipped her head to face him. Since when were they friends? Was his head just full of so much fluffy hair that there wasn’t any room for a  _ brain _ ? 

When she said nothing, just sitting in mute horror, he turned and flashed her a very, too-wide grin, and prompted: “Am I right Kansas?” 

She didn’t know whether to slap that stupid dimpled smirk off his face, or to scream. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fact that this took three months is such a shock to me, and you all can blame me personally (SandfireKat) because I'm a gremlin with little to no time management skills. So. I finally forced myself to actually work on this (Sorry Florexandra <3)  
> But yes~! Finally, we have chapter two of this story. And trust us when we say that after this chapter everything kicks into gear, so be excited!  
> I hope you all like this new chapter! And I hope if we did we can hear from you in a comment!!!! (hint hint)

Kay liked to think she was a good person.

She liked to think she was  _ generous _ , and kind. She stayed out of other people’s business and never made  _ her  _ business anyone else’s. She tutored underclassmen that needed help, and she did a lot of service hours for her honor society. She helped plan pep rallies and encourage new organizations, and whenever it was requested of her she helped with other events. She had been the one in charge of the last Bingo night at their school, and even when she had been yelled at by an old woman for not calling her numbers and rigging the game against her, she had just smiled.

Kay liked to think she was a good person.

Kay liked to think she didn’t deserve this. 

She had tried to bargain with God...after two minutes of  _ that,  _ she realized he wasn’t gonna listen. She had tried to scrounge up the nerve to actually ask Lexi if she wanted to switch partners, or figure out how that would occur in a way that wouldn’t  _ entirely  _ offend Cameron. She had sat there and entertained the prospect of dropping out of school entirely...that would have a little more long-lasting repercussions in comparison to the first two, but she was pretty sure that she could make it work if she was pushed.

But, no. It was just pointless. This was a project meant to be done with a partner. And they had been late, so there was no other option. Fate had taken Kay’s dislike for his constant talking and smiling and prodding and poking, and it had disregarded it entirely, deciding instead that it would be a good idea to have them be together for the next couple of weeks. Really, she shouldn’t be surprised. Fate never really  _ did  _ have a good track record when it came to her. There was no point just sitting there and whining about it to herself. Everyone else was already talking amongst themselves and getting to work. It was just one assignment, and then after that they wouldn’t have to work together.  And, despite his goofiness, Cameron  _ did  _ seem to know what he was doing when it came to literature. He was  _ in  _ the honors class, after all. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad.

She’d just get through it.

So she said nothing; her shoulders just drooped and she gave in. Shockley had long since stopped caring about the two late students; she was answering questions from other students over what was expected of them. Kay shook herself and started to try and pay attention. They’d missed the introduction thanks to Cameron’s sheer stupidity. They had to catch up to the rest of the class. But her concentration was broken when she felt a pencil tap her shoulder. And she had to hold back a huff of irritation at Cameron’s voice in her ear. “Psst.”

“What, Cameron?” she hissed through clenched teeth. 

He wasn’t put off by her tone. He usually wasn’t, though, so it was nothing new. In fact, he was grinning from ear to ear when she looked back at him. Again, she was left to wonder if it was coffee he injected into his veins in the morning, or just straight heroin. “Where do you want to work on this?” he asked. “I’d invite you to my place, but...” He paused, before he grinned wider and shrugged, “Johnny plays his music too loud. We’d never be able to hear each other. And I know how much you love to listen to my amazing voice.”

She eyed him, raising her eyebrows a little bit. “ _ Jonathan _ , playing his music too loud?” she echoed. Didn’t seem quite right. Jonathan always had his headphones in when she saw him, and he was the definition of ‘keeping to yourself.’ 

Cameron nodded earnestly: “Oh yeah, he’s obnoxious as hell. I’m close to suing him.” He looked down at his desk, fiddling with his pencil. His smile was dropping a bit. “But the only lawyer I could find wanted to be paid in radishes, and it’s not radish season yet. I gotta wait.” She looked at him, her stare very dull and requesting him to be normal for once. But he didn’t look back up at her.

She was silent for a moment then nodded, “Okay, I guess…we could go to my house…or a coffee shop. It’s not due for a while.”

He scrunched up his face. “Not much of a coffee drinker.”

“Really?” So all that energy just came naturally? Oh dear God.

He shook his head, “Nope. It’s never really appealed to me. Too bitter.”

“I’m surprised you don’t just dump a pound of sugar into it,” she commented. He looked up at her again, and his smile was back the way it usually was. She paused for a moment, before she offered: “Well, they  _ do  _ have a pretty good hot chocolate.” He perked, upon hearing those words. She felt the corner of her mouth twitch slightly. “I mean, I think it would be a good idea to start working there because it might get us in the right mindset. Once we’ve figured things out, we can create an outline.” His smile only grew. She couldn’t quite understand why. But she found that she was smiling right back. Sure, he was annoying and talked too much… but he also meant well, and he did well. It was clear that he cared about his schoolwork. He may not as focused as she was but it was clear his grades were just as important to him as her grades were to her.

“You had me at pretty good hot chocolate,” he beamed.

Mrs. Shockley clapped her hands together. “Alright guys! I’m going to give you the rest of the hour to start on your projects. So chat amongst yourselves. I’m here if you need me. But please don’t need me.” She turned back to her desk. “Try to spend at least  _ five  _ minutes on the assignment today. You’re all like hamsters when it comes to attention spans.” Kay was fairly certain she wasn’t in that category. She couldn’t say the same for the boy sitting next to her, unfortunately.

“So partner,” Cameron chirped. That mischievous glint was back in his eyes. “Was there any book you had in mind?” He looked down at the papers they’d snatched on their way in that outlined the project. He flipped it back and forth, too fast and too dramatic to actually be reading anything. “What even is this project?” She just watched him, resigning herself to just waiting him out. She felt like that was just the best route to take. “We have to...write a report? Do we have to  _ build  _ stuff? Last time I tried to build something it caught on fire...”

Kay pursed her lips. She had forgotten about the assignment until they had walked into class, in the first place. She hadn’t spent a single second thinking about what she would actually do for it. She shrugged. “To be honest, I haven't really thought about it. I’ve been busy with other stuff.”

“You look the part,” he hedged. “You look like you haven’t slept in like two weeks. Maybe we need to cut class and get that coffee right  _ now.”  _ She shot him a look, silently telling him to shut up. He was getting a little better at actually taking those warnings, it seemed. Which was good, because if not, she would probably end up punching him in the throat. He dropped it with another small shrug, tilting his head to the side. “Well, what about a romance story?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “I just suggest it because there is actually a lot to talk about with the romance novel. You got all that...mushy symbolism and crap. We can talk about something like that. We could do…  _ Pamela _ …  _ Pride and Prejudice _ …  _ Wuthering Heights,  _ if that’s more your speed.”

“You've read all those?”

He shrugged. “I mean they are some of the classics. Although, personally, I find Mr B in  _ Pamela _ to be a little… oh, what’s the word? Creepy.” Cameron saw Kay’s mouth form a tiny smile. He didn’t say anything about it, but his own grin widened significantly as he recognized the feat. “I mean, the only reason he marries Pamela is so that he can be seen as the good guy. He treats taking her hand in marriage as if he’s rewarding her.  Not exactly someone you wanna bring home to Mom and Dad.” He heard Kay give out the tiniest of chuckles. He sat up a little straighter, his eyes flashing. He could bypass the smile, but  _ this? _ “Did I just make you laugh?” he demanded, absolutely stunned.

“No.” Her reply was immediate and flat. She buried her nose back into the directions.

“I did!” he argued, leaning forward to try and catch her eye despite the fact. Her eyes flickered to him, but went right back to the paper a second after. He could see the effort she was making to frown. His smile was unfettered. “I made you laugh,” he declared, triumphant, like he’d won a grand prize or something. He sat back in his chair with a flourish. Very smug.

“You did  _ not _ ,” she grumbled.

“Mmm. I don’t know Kansas. That looked like a smile to me,” he said, in a very sing-song voice. Kay didn’t say anything. Again... _ why  _ was she being punished? When up to now she’d done her best to live a decent life. If this was how you were rewarded, she wasn’t too sure how it all worked. Though she had a few choice complaints. 

Cameron’s stupid lopsided grin was still plastered on his face. She recalled when her parents used to tell her not to make a face for too long, otherwise it would get stuck there. She could only assume nobody had given him the same warning, and now he was doomed to look like  _ that  _ for the rest of his life. “Hey, come on…” She kept her head down, raising her eyebrows a little. “ _ Kay _ .” Once he used her actual name, she turned, very pointedly, unimpressed. His smile went a tad more crooked as he tilted his head to the side. “I know you  _ pretend  _ to be averse to fun _ ,  _ but I like to think that you don’t hate me  _ entirely _ . Or as much as you make it  _ seem  _ like you do.”

She stared at him for what felt like a very long time. Before she offered: “Well, then you’d be wrong. ‘Cause I do hate you.”

He just smiled more. He put his chin on his hand and leaned closer to her. “No you don’t,” he declared, very certain of the rebuttal.

She held his gaze a little bit longer, and tried to keep her sharpened look. But it was quickly crumbling away from her; she looked away before he could see the smile that was wiggling onto her face. But something told her that he noticed anyway. Maybe it was his laugh. “We have to talk about the assignment,” she snapped, her voice just as strained when it came to hiding her grin.

He just scooted a little closer. “Talk away,” he invited.

She did. And she was painfully aware, probably just as much as he was, when that smile stayed on her face and in her voice, as she started to read over the instructions. 

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

Kay went to her locker after band, like she always did. She was a creature of habit, and liked routine. But today, there was something very  _ different  _ and very  _ not  _ routine. And it came in the form of Cameron Black standing right in front of it.  “Afternoon, Partner! Ready to go party hard at a Starbucks?” he asked with a cheeky grin. Kay didn’t say anything; he prompted: “C’mon! Friday night clubbing-- can I get a boo-ya?” She nudged him away, shooing him off so she could actually unlock the door and reach her stuff. He just grinned wider as he hopped to the side, clasping his hands behind his back. “Come on Kansas, I thought we were making progress!” She raised an eyebrow at him. “Come on Kay...” He pouted, “I’ll be your best friend.”

“That sounds like a threat.”

Cameron clutched his chest, “You wound me, bestie.”

“You’ll live,” she grumbled.

“No, wait, wait, stop!” His snap got her to actually comply. She stopped and eyed him with confusion. He lifted his index finger, ducking his head a little bit. “Shh… listen. You hear it?” She raised her eyebrows. He gave a dramatic sigh, and looked back up at her with a much-too-sorrowful frown. “It’s the sound of my heart breaking. I think the only thing that might mend it is a warm cup of hot cocoa.”

Kay rolled her eyes. “Alright, alright; we’re  _ going.”  _ He sat back on his heels, swinging his arms back out, now. “Just let me get my  _ stuff.”  _ She paused a moment, her eyes flickering to him and then back to her locker as she added in more of a grumble: “But I’m not sure that putting sugar in your system is the best idea, Mr. Magician.”

Cameron gasped. “Did I  _ level up _ from Dimples to Mr. Magician?” She rolled her eyes, just stuffing the last of her stuff into her bag before she turned and started for the exit without another word. He was all too eager to bounce after her, once he picked up his own bag. “You flatter me Kay. Now I need to come up with another one for you.”

“ _ Please _ don’t,” she huffed.

Cameron was quick to match her speed. “You’re right. Kansas  _ does  _ suit you quite well. Anything else simply have the same  _ allure. _ ”

Kay rolled her eyes, “I  _ really  _ shouldn’t be letting you have sugar.”

“Kansas, you should know by now that sugar sustains me.” Kay nodded once, rolling her eyes with a kind of look that said ‘Unfortunately, yes.’ Cameron flashed her a smile, taking a few more steps than she did so he reached the door in time to hold it open for her. She glanced at him as she walked past, and muttered a small thanks. They were silent for a moment, starting down the sidewalk, but Cameron wasn’t going to let it stay like that for long. “So. What’s the name of this cafe, again?”

“The Busy Bean.”

“Oh, you can just  _ tell  _ that guy put so much effort into that name,” he gasped. “That hipster must be real proud of himself.” She just cracked a small smile again, not replying. But that was alright, because, not at all surprisingly, Cameron was perfectly fine to talk all by himself. And talk he did, enough for the both of them. 

They walked down to the coffee shop and the entire way, Cameron kept finding something new to talk about. How when he realized Jonathan was the ‘science’ twin because when he was in seventh grade he’d made a small explosion in the lab (“And let me tell you, my teacher was so  _ unreasonably  _ angry? Her hair didn’t even get  _ that  _ pink.”) How he was  _ pretty  _ sure that when he went downtown he saw a hobo that remarkably resembled Eric. How he thought it wasn’t fair he couldn’t dance anymore now that he was a drum major, and he was contemplating just jumping down there anyway in the middle of the show. How the  Starbucks’ Witch’s Brew Frappuccino tastes like Fruit Loops that were trying to be healthy. 

She listened the entire way, a captive audience simply because she didn't have any other option. A couple times she wondered whether or not Cameron ever stopped to take a breath, or how long he could go at one time without air. She was sure he could go scuba diving without any gear and not come back for a good thirty minutes. But at the same time, a  _ couple  _ of the things he said were funny. A couple of them made her laugh just a little. Though every time she laughed, Cameron always made such a big deal out of it, so she wasn’t gonna let him see her grin  _ too  _ often.

It took them some time but they eventually got there. At this point it was around five. She wouldn’t have  _ too  _ long to spend here...she had no idea what Cameron’s curfew was, if he even had any, but he didn’t seem worried. And they were just there to brainstorm for a little bit, anyway. They walked up to the door and Kay reached out for it, but Cameron hopped in front of her at the last second and held it open for her. “Ladies first,” he chirped.

Kay raised an eyebrow. But she didn’t complain, and took the offer with a small: “Thanks.” They found a booth in the corner where they could work without distractions. Fortunately, Kay did not make the mistake of letting Cameron sit where he could seeing people walking by. Just a very subtle attempt to make sure that he would focus on their assignment, and not on critiquing the outfit of the person who was walking by, or something equally as random and stupid, because at this point she was more than aware of his... _ tendency to do so.  _ She  _ hoped  _ it would keep him focused, anyway. 

Boy, was she wrong. 

Once they had ordered and they settled into their booth she asked: “So why would you want to do a romance?”

Cameron blew out his cheeks, slouching down more in his seat. “Why?” he mused. “I guess… because when you think about, our modern ideals of romance  _ came  _ from these novels, you know? I mean what would the  _ standard  _ for romance be if we didn’t have these classics to make us think about love? I mean… even those cheesy dollar store romance novels share those elements of romance that appealed to us in the first place.” He said all of this absently, like he wasn’t paying attention. Because he  _ wasn’t.  _ As he mumbled, he was playing with the straw he’d plucked up along the way to their table. He was wiggling the wrapper down to the very end of it. He looked up when she didn’t say anything. He raised his eyebrows. 

Kay just kept staring at him. She honestly didn’t know what she had expected...but it certainly wasn’t that. Without breaking eye contact, Cameron brought the straw up to his mouth and blew through it. She jerked and flinched when it made a bullseye in the middle of her forehead. Once she recovered, she scowled at him. He just asked blankly: “What?”

She shook her head, waving it off. “Nothing,” she said “I, uh… I never thought of it that way.”

He frowned. “Sorry….I mean, if you don’t want to do a romance classic, we don’t have to, we can do something else if-”

“No, no,” she interrupted. She gave him a small smile. It wasn’t forced, it was genuine. It was small but it was there. “I get it. I agree. I think it’s a great angle we can work with. Or, it’s a good start.”

Cameron started to say something, but the waitress was just coming back with their drinks. They both thanked her, and, in sync, they turned and reached for the shaker of cinnamon that was arranged on the side of their table. Not noticing, their fingers accidentally brushed. Kay looked back at him quickly, and just as quickly, Cameron yanked his arm back. He smiled and shook his head. “Go ahead.”

“Sorry, I wasn’t- you just-” She just ended up asking a blank: “You sure?”

“I don’t think a couple of seconds is gonna affect my drink too much,” he joked. He redirected his attention back on the straw, that she didn’t even know why he picked up in the first place, because he had gotten  _ hot chocolate.  _ She realized, reaching over and grabbing the shaker, that it was probably because he’d  _ just  _ wanted to shoot the wrapper at her. Regardless. She was fast to shake some cinnamon into her coffee and hand it over to him. He took it with a grin that she didn’t really look at.

There was a brief period of silence. It wasn’t  _ too  _ long a silence, in actuality, but for some reason it was a little more uncomfortable. She glanced up at him a couple times to see that he was just staring down at his drink, all of a sudden pretty lost for words. Which wasn’t like him. She took in a slow breath and shifted a little in her chair. When she spoke up again, her voice was a little louder than normal. Maybe to compensate for the silence, somehow. “So which classic romance did you have in mind?” 

“Ummm…  _ Pride and Prejudice _ … maybe? I mean there’s gotta be  _ something  _ about it, since Mr Darcy has become every girl’s fantasy.” Kay raised an eyebrow and Cameron added with a hint of a snicker: “Or... _ other  _ girls, I guess.” She eyed him, and he grinned. Offered her a small shrug. “I just mean that there’s a reason people think this is considered the ultimate romantic story. And it’s not just because Jane Austen was a brilliant writer.” He took a sip of his cocoa, before he made a face and shook his head. “I don’t recommend Wuthering Heights because despite the great writing of Emily Bronte, it’s just annoying how the entire time, Heathcliff and Catherine won’t let bygones be bygones. They could have been  _ great  _ together. It  _ really  _ wasn’t worth all that drama. They’re like the  _ epitome  _ of a toxic relationships.” He was poking the whipped cream that was on top of his hot chocolate. He seemed awfully interested in the way it was bouncing back. But he was very aware of the fact she was smirking at him, and he looked up with a small frown. “What?” he asked. 

“Nothing,” she repeated. Her smirk was widening. “I’m just surprised you know what ‘bygones’ mean. Or ‘epitome’ for that matter,” she chuckled.

Cameron smirked too, at this. He jabbed his index finger at her. Raised his eyebrows in a mock sense of sternness. “ _ Hey _ , I happen to be a  _ lot  _ smarter than I look.” It was even harder to keep the look on his face when Kay snorted and rolled her eyes. “I’m  _ serious,”  _ he pressed. “See, it’s this whole elaborate setup. If I act smart all the time, then people are going to start  _ expecting  _ stuff from me, and I simply  _ cannot  _ have people expecting things out of me.”

_ “Oh,”  _ she gasped, very dramatically. Cameron lit up when she started joking along. “So  _ that’s  _ why you act like a completely insufferable five-year-old every day.”

He pointed at her again, smiling much too big to be anything but comical. _“Yeah!”_ he said, just as dramatic as she was. She laughed, out loud this time, and not trying to stifle it. He smirked and added a bit slyer: “Now all _I_ need is to figure out why you try and make it seem like you’re allergic to fun. I _think_ - and this is just a _rough_ estimate from where I am at the moment - that it’s because you’re actually just _so_ fun, that you just have to be careful who you pick to be with ‘cause you know they just don’t have what it takes.”

“Oh, really?” she hummed. He nodded very seriously. “That’s your rough estimate?”

“Very rough. But I’m  _ perfecting  _ it.” He flashed her another smirk. “But it’s  _ okay,  _ you see, ‘cause  _ I  _ am the  _ funnest  _ person that’s ever graced  _ planet Earth,  _ so I can handle anything you throw my way.” She threw him a look that just made him smile more. “So you don’t have to worry ‘bout me, Kansas,” he reassured. 

“You think so?” she giggled.

“Oh, I know so,” he returned at once. He was wearing that goofy smile he always wore. He winked at her. “Don’t you worry; you’re gonna find out. I’m gonna wear you down,  _ real  _ fast. You won’t even have  _ time  _ to do all your weird government stuff, you’ll be having too much fun having the time of your  _ life _ . You won’t even  _ know  _ what the word ‘filibuster’  _ means.” _

“You’re awfully confident,” she remarked.

“Only ‘cause I’m a  _ hundred percent  _ positive.”

She rolled her eyes, leaning more over the table. “We’ll just see,” she hummed.

“I’ll take that as a challenge,” he promised. She flashed him another look and he pressed: “And I don’t take challenges  _ lightly,  _ Kansas. Like, this one time, Jonathan told me that if I jumped out of this tree that used to be in our backyard, and that I’d get hurt, and I  _ knew  _ it wasn’t  _ that  _ tall, so…” 

And so he launched into the story of the first time he had ever broken a bone (“However, it would not be the last,” he warned). Kay smiled and listened, laughing when he mentioned that he had never realized that all the Jell-O they had at hospitals were just  _ free  _ and  _ unlimited _ and how he had left probably having gained three pounds of straight gelatin.  _ And  _ pudding. She muttered that he was dumb, and sure enough he had a story to prove that he could be even  _ dumber.  _ Which led to another story.

But she was willing to listen. 

She…  _ liked  _ listening.

And she didn't even realize until after they had left and were starting on their way home, that they hadn’t ever gotten back to actually talking about their project.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

Band competitions were always hectic.  _ First  _ competitions were even  _ more  _ so. That was part of what made them so  _ fun.  _ You get there about fifteen to twenty minutes late at  _ least,  _ you’re rushing to gather up your section and scream at them to stop goofing off and actually pay attention to something important. You’re yanking on your uniform while you put your instrument together, you get to your designated warm-up area and have to deal with the distraction of all the other bands around you trying to do the exact same thing. You try to go through basics and go over your show when everyone is really just counting down to the second you all get to the field and are put under all the scrutiny in the world and judged on your one performance. 

It was a lot. But… that was what helped make it fun.

Currently, the band was going through basics. They were almost done; they’d move on to practicing music, soon, and then it was their time to perform. For now, they were just marching in a block. Four steps forward and backwards, or to the left or right, because the parking lot they were in didn’t allow for much else. Janet was taking them through it all, yelling out the calls for each. Mike was pacing through, watching and correcting when he needed to. Kay was nearer to the front, trying to keep an eye on her section and make sure they weren’t making any glaring mistakes. When she suddenly realized something, and stopped to look around.

Cameron wasn’t here.

Drum majors were supposed to walk through the block and watch them all and help, but he wasn’t here with the others. Where had he gone? She was so disarmed for a second that she almost missed the next count-off; the trombone behind her almost smacked right into her. Thankfully she jerked to attention and rushed to catch back up. Once they finished their steps, she looked over at Jordan, who was next to her. “Pst!” He blinked, coming out of his focus. He shot her a look. She whispered: “Where’s Cameron?”

“I have no idea,” he hissed back. And he looked back front, trying to listen to the next directions they were given. 

She frowned, but tried to drop it. She kept an eye out for Cameron, wondering if he was just sent out on some job. But he didn’t show up for the entire run-through of basics. Messerli told them all when their time had passed that they had a five minute break before they had to be back for music rehearsal. Everyone else rushed to go get water, or goof off with their friends in the tiny slot available. Others went to spy on the other bands around them and see how they stacked up to those that were in their division.

Kay went to find Cameron.

She looked in the instrument trailer, and by the water cooler. She looked to see if he was by Messerli, but he wasn’t there either. As a last-ditch resort, she went to the bus he had been on. It had been the same as hers. He’d sat with Jordan, in the second seat in the left row. He wasn’t there. She wasn’t about to turn and get back off -- she was running out of time, anyway -- when she stopped short and looked back. 

He hadn’t been in the second seat. 

But he  _ was  _ in the very back.

He was hunched against the wall of the bus; she could only see the top of his head. She frowned. “Cameron?” He roused, but only a little bit. She walked back to him. And her frown got worse when she realized he’d been holding his head in his hands. He sat up more when she reached him. He looked strained.  _ Very  _ strained. And panicked. She’d never seen him look so worried before. He almost seemed… scared. She tilted her head to the side. “Cameron?” she repeated, gentler. He grimaced, looking embarrassed. “What’s wrong?”

“N-... Nothing, nothing,” Cameron brushed off. “I’m fine, is--” His eyes widened. “Is Messerli looking for me? Are we already supposed to be performing?”

“No,” she said quickly. He relaxed, but only marginally. “No, I don’t think he’s even noticed you’re gone. But we’re going to start music rehearsal soon. You need to be there to conduct your part.” He weakened. He slouched again, but gave a tiny nod. When she looked down, she realized his hands were wringing together. He was anxious. She hesitated, but slid into the seat beside him. She looked at him closely. “Cameron? You’re not okay… what’s wong?”

“I’m just… it’s nothing, I’m just… nervous,” he admitted in a whisper. She jerked a little. Cameron? Nervous? The two words didn’t make sense when they were put together. “I just… don’t wanna mess it up,” he croaked.

“You’ve performed before. At your other school,” she pointed out. 

“I’ve never performed as  _ drum major,”  _ he objected. Flinched again. “Which is  _ stupid,  _ I  _ know.  _ Like… I  _ asked  _ for this position, I  _ wanted  _ it, but… and I  _ love  _ it, but now I…” He looked at her miserably. “You all are counting on me. If I mess up,  _ you all  _ mess up, and it’ll be so hard to recover from it. I could ruin the entire show, I could be the reason we get last place. I could be the worst drum major ever… and disappoint everyone.”

“Cameron… you can’t actually think that,” she tried. He seemed pretty certain, from the way he was looking at her. She shook her head. “Cameron, you’re  _ amazing.  _ You came in late, and ever since you took the drum major spot, this band’s gotten about a million times better. You’ve already done so much for us; you’ve already done what you were supposed to do. You’re great at what you do; you’re going to be perfect today. It’s going be great. Trust me.”

He cracked a tiny smile. “Look at you… usually I’m the optimistic one,” he teased weakly. 

She smiled. “Maybe you’ve rubbed off on me,” she murmured.

His grin widened a little more. Before he glanced at his hands and mumbled after a pause: “I just… really don’t wanna let anyone down… I don’t wanna disappoint anyone… I  _ can’t…  _ disappoint anyone…”

“You won’t,” she swore. “We’re all together in this.” He glanced at her and regained a little sureness. She glanced out the window of the bus and added a little more teasingly: “And we’re all gonna be late for music rehearsal if we don’t hop to it.”

Cameron laughed just a little bit. He smiled as Kay got out of the seat and stood up again. She lead the way out and was relieved when he was quick to follow. She stood on the edge of their arch during their warm-up, so she could stand up next to where the drum majors were standing. Cameron still seemed a little nervous, but he was smiling more, just the tiniest bit more eager. When he took his place in the middle and raised his hands to start conducting, his eyes flickered briefly to her. She gave him a smile and a nod; he grinned wide. And looked back with a lot more confidence to kick them all off.

She wasn’t able to talk to him again after that. From music rehearsal they were rushed off to the field to perform. Cameron had to go with the others to conduct; she had to go to her spot and focus on her performance. Usually when shows started, she didn’t think of much else until the very end. She was too focused on the music and the forms and trying not to run into anyone else. But at some point in the show, her eyes were drawn up a little more, and they caught on Cameron. And she cracked a smile when she saw the huge one that was on his face. When she saw the way he was so zeroed in on what he was doing. All his nervousness was gone… which was what she knew would happen. But she was so relieved to see it. 

They were the last performance of the day before awards, so the second they were done with their show, they just went onto the track, just a couple steps off the field, to wait for their results.  _ All  _ the other bands were there by then, waiting to hear the announcement. Everyone was bursting with excitement, some people crowing about how perfect they’d been, some yelling very loudly about all the mistakes they had made. The drum majors had left with all the other ones-- it was their job to accept whatever awards they were given. Or just stand there awkwardly and not receive a single thing. So she couldn’t meet back up with Cameron  _ then,  _ either.

Kay was just waiting patiently, for them all to finish the scores and for the ceremony to start. She turned and looked over her shoulder to the fence that lined the track behind them. She smiled a little when she saw Jonathan leaning against it, his eyes trained on his brother in the middle of the field. She’d seen him earlier in the day. She hadn’t realized he’d stay the entire time, but there he was. Her smile dropped a little bit when her eyes pulled more to the side. She was much less enthused to see the group of girls from her english class standing there in the crowd as well. Lexi and her friends were there, all giggling and laughing together and looking just as fixated on Cameron as Jonathan was. For a much different reason, of course. 

She could hear them from where she stood.

“He was so great,” Lexi was sighing. The grin on her face was a dopey one. “Ugh, why does he had to be, like… the most perfect guy ever?”

“He  _ is  _ perfect,” Amanda agreed. She leaned over and elbowed her friend. “When do you think he’ll ask you out?”

Lexi was immediately giggling.  _ “Stop!  _ He  _ won’t  _ ask me out!” There was a small pause, before she giggled: “Do you think he wants to ask me out?”

“Absolutely!” Amanda snapped. They all started giggling again. Kay made a face and hunched her shoulders more. “He’s always joking with you and walking with you in the hall, he  _ totally  _ looks at you in class. And you two would look  _ so  _ good together, don’t even get me started. He’s absolutely going to ask you out. And if he  _ doesn’t,  _ then you should ask him!” She gasped, and hit her shoulder. “You could ask him to the winter formal this year! If he doesn’t ask you out by then already. Which he totally will.”

Kay glanced back with a frown. Lexi was smiling from ear-to-ear. She was still looking at Cameron with a huge smile. “Maybe I will,” she mused. Kay didn’t like the feeling she got when she heard the tone of voice she used. “Yeah,” she continued, much surer. “Yeah, I’ll ask him. If he doesn’t ask me. We’d be really cute together.”

Her friends were about to start cheering her on, when all of a sudden an announcement over the loudspeakers was starting the award ceremony. Kay jerked back, surprised. Her frown was lingering, as the announcer thanked them all for coming and participating in today’s competition. She had to shake her head to clear it and actually focus on what was being said. Thankfully, they were in the third division. The first two divisions of bands she could tune out. She spent it looking at Cameron, who was standing with Janet and Mike and looked about ready to explode with nerves. 

They got to their division and the entire band started to clump more together. They were all tense, and anxious as the announcer began. “And in Division Three. For Best Music…” They all held their breath. Jordan threw his arms around Kay and hugged her, and she was too apprehensive to smack him off. “Davenport High!” 

The instant the heard their name, they were screaming, shouting and looking at each other and beaming. Almost cheering too loud to hear the rest of the awards. “For Outstanding Percussion… Davenport High!” They screamed again, in disbelief and shock. And only screamed louder when he called: “For Best General Effect… Davenport High!” Cameron’s eyes were huge; Kay saw him look over at her. He couldn’t even smile, he was so stunned. Jordan was currently screaming in her ear and flinging her all around. “And for Best Visual Performance...Davenport High!”

They swept! They swept the entire competition, they won every award in their class! So, of course, they took first place! Their band was yelling and cheering, and their drum majors accepted every award. By the time they were coming back to them, they were almost too loaded to walk. The first place trophy was about half Mike’s height, alone. He was lugging that along, and barely holding the Best Music trophy, which was tucked under his arm. Janet and Cameron were juggling the rest of them. The whole group was rushing out to meet them. 

Kay broke away and got to Cameron first. And before she knew it, her arms were flying out. He realized in just enough time to drop everything he was holding (thank goodness for soft turf fields) and reached out too. He squeaked a little when she crashed into him and hugged him tightly, her arms locking behind his neck. She was laughing, and so was he. She hugged him tightly for a couple seconds, until the rest of the band caught up to them. But she was still hugging him when she pulled back and yelled: “You did it!”

Cameron was still hugging her, too. He grinned and laughed, before he corrected:  _ “We  _ did it!”

She beamed. They were going into Finals. Cameron had been so worried he had been hiding on the bus, but he had done perfectly, and they had swept, and now they were going into Finals! For a second they just kept hugging, distracted as they just beamed at one another. Not even the band cheering and congratulating each other got them to separate. But something else did. Cameron roused at the explicit call of his name. Kay turned and realize that Lexi had gotten onto the field somehow too, and was now rushing for him. “Cameron!” She looked ecstatic. Kay immediately let go. Cameron glanced at her when he did, but Lexi was taking her place before he could say anything, if he’d planned to. 

She hugged him tight, and after a second he seemed to forget and just hugged her back with a laugh. “Lexi! I didn’t know you were here!” 

She hugged him even tighter before she pulled away to look at him. She kept herself much closer than Kay had. “I came to see you!” she gushed, and Cameron smiled. Kay didn’t. Her smile was fading, even when everyone else kept celebrating. She glanced down at the ground and blinked a couple times, looking confused. “You did so amazing, you were so great! I couldn’t believe it!” 

“That takes commitment; I wouldn’t wanna sit through a million bands just to see ours.”

“I wasn’t staying for the band, I was staying for  _ you,”  _ she corrected.

Cameron laughed again. “Oh, well, then, yeah, that makes sense.”

Kay ducked her head and stepped away. She didn’t really care where. She caught sight of Jonathan making his way over to Cameron. Her face fell even more. And frustration layered itself on top of her when she wondered why in the world she was so upset about this. She shook her head and redirected her focus. They’d won. Swept. Finals. Right. The competition was only halfway over, now. They’d made it to finals, and they had to win overall, now. She had to focus on that. That was all that mattered. Messerli said the very same thing-- calming the band down and telling everyone they needed to get back to the bus for a quick dinner before they got back to work and did the whole thing over again.

She told herself to focus on that. But she couldn’t hold back the tiny tug in her gut when Lexi followed them back to the bus and sat with Cameron during dinner… as if she belonged there. As if she had any right at all to hang out with the band. To laugh loudly at Cameron’s jokes, and touch his shoulder when she did, or lean too close to him when he was talking, pretending she was just trying to hear better. 

Cameron was beaming the entire night. Kay was significantly less enthused than she had been before. She stuck with her own section. She might have gone to eat dinner with him, sitting on all the instrument cases in the parking lot and eating some peanut butter sandwich and chips that one of the moms had packed for the band. She  _ wanted  _ to be with him. But she didn’t want to be around Lexi. So. She didn’t. She hated that she was feeling this way. It wasn’t like her. To have this knot in her stomach, to feel a sense of specific irritation. After trying and failing to rid herself of these unpleasant emotions, Kay decided that she wouldn’t sit with him, or talk with him. She  _ wanted  _ to be near him. But she didn’t want to be near Lexi.

Even when Lexi had to leave and they got back to rehearsing, she didn’t talk to him much. He didn’t make any special effort to talk to her; they were busy. She was irritated for no particular reason. She snapped at Jordan for stepping on her toes during basic block. At one point during block, when Cameron was walking through the lines of students and he passed her, he flashed her a smile. Her eyes had caught on the collar on his uniform. Against the stark-white fabric, she noticed that there was a smudge of something.

It had taken her a second to realize what it was, but she realized it had to be makeup. It was too light to be mud, and it was too high on his collar to have come from that anyway, unless he’s just stuck his head in the ground. It was foundation, or something like that. Skin-toned. It was just a little smear, but it was there anyway, and it stuck out a little, thanks to the fact that their uniforms were so clean and bright. Her eyes had flashed when she’d seen it. Her stomach had tugged, again. She thought about directing his attention to it.

But as he’d kept walking slowly by, she realized how it would sound. ‘Hey, Cameron, you ruined your uniform because Lexi was  _ hanging  _ on you all night and got her makeup on you. You think you can try and scrub it off before we go back on the field?’ It occurred to her, and her stomach clenched when it did, but she quickly shoved it away, before she could even take in the breath to say it. No. That was mean. She was being mean, to both of them. She took the words back, and just looked back front. Brushed it off because it was none of her business.

If he was happy, she was happy. It didn’t matter.

She told herself that, but she wasn’t too good at fooling herself.

She noticed when Lexi rushed to hug him again, after their second performance.

And even when they got to Finals awards, and their name was announced as the overall winner, for some reason she couldn’t even bring herself to crack a smile. Or at least...a genuine one.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

“Cameron, can you  _ please  _ focus?” Kay demanded, exasperated. Cameron flung his head back and sagged more against his booth, letting out a noise she imagined a deer would make as it was slowly dying of starvation. He lifted his head back up only to look at her with an expression that clearly said: ‘Kill me now; I don’t even care if you don’t make it fast.’ She tried to be annoyed and shoot him a stern glare. But she couldn’t really manage  _ as  _ stern a look as she usually did. She couldn’t really blame him; they had been working on this project for two weeks now, and it was starting to grate on both of their nerves. It was like cabin fever, but with schoolwork. Which just made it about a million times more painful.

Cameron whined and flung his head back a second time. He sounded even more miserable than he looked somehow. “I’m sorry,” he grumbled. He’d been trying for the past thirty minutes to fold a piece of notebook paper in half more than eight times. Kay had told him plenty of times that it was impossible and to  _ stop,  _ but lo and behold he was still going at it. “I’m just so  _ bored _ .” Kay started to reply, before she was cut off, jumping a little and doing a bit of a double-take when Cameron suddenly shot forward to slam his head down on the cafe table instead. His voice was muffled into the wood when he whined more. “I feel weak.”

She rolled her eyes, looking back down to rifle through their folder. “You just had hot chocolate.”

“That was an  _ hour  _ ago!” he pouted. He moved so that his chin was on the table instead, and he could actually look at her. Apparently he was bad on picking up on social cues (surprise, surprise) because he kept going, even though she was very clearly warning him not to. “My brain hurts! I  _ cannot  _ think about the Bennetts any longer. I’ve started seeing Mrs. Bennett in my dreams! She thinks I’m one of her daughters and she’s trying to marry me off to William Collins after Elizabeth said no! Collins, of all people Kay!  _ Collins!” _ Kay stifled a laugh as she pictured Cameron dressed like Elizabeth Bennett. “You think my pain is  _ funny,  _ Kansas? This book is  _ haunting  _ me! It’s got my biological clock ticking!”

“Men don’t have biological clocks.”

“Well, I do!” he exclaimed, before proceeding to slam his forehead back down on the table.

Kay stared at him in disappointed silence. She waited for him to pick himself up, but he may as well have had a heart attack and died, because he stayed completely still. She wondered if she would be given pity credit for this project if her partner up and died while they were working on it. But she figured not. And she wasn’t too keen on finishing this thing herself. She sighed and put her chin on her hand. She tilted her head to the side, hesitating for a couple seconds. Before she took in a deeper breath and offered: “Well... we could go to my house.” Cameron stirred, picking his head up just enough to look at her. “Just..a change of scenery might help.”

Cameron’s face broke out into a huge smile. He sat straight up; she rolled her eyes. “Are you saying I’m a  _ bring-home _ friend now? A friend that exists  _ beyond  _ the school campus and this coffee shop?”

Kay rolled her eyes, “Don’t make it weird, Cameron.” He laughed out loud. She just shot him another look. “Do you want to go or not?”

“Of course I want to go, is that even a question!? I wanna see this place you disappear to everyday.” Kay eyed him, raising an eyebrow almost skeptically. He hopped up, like he was a kid who was just told they were going to Disney World. It wasn’t like her house was anything exciting.  _ This  _ place was more exciting than her house. She stood much slower than he did, and gathered their trash to throw it away on the way out. The two of them got their stuff packed up and headed out the door.

It was starting to get colder. She zipped up her jacket as they got out, and glanced at Cameron as they started down the sidewalk. He was bouncing next to her like he was Tigger. Too enthusiastic and… too _ bouncy _ . She guessed if he was Tigger, then that had to make her Rabbit. Because she was much glummer in comparison when she warned, “My house isn’t anything exciting.” He was swinging his arms a little, but frowned and looked at her with this. She looked back front, holding onto one of the straps of her backpack. “I’m just saying,” she said. “Don’t get your hopes up or anything. It’s about as exciting as I am.”

He grinned from one ear to the other. That dumb smile he was always wearing. “Then it’ll be amazing,” he returned at once. 

She jerked, looking at him again. His smile looked different. She didn’t know that she liked it. And she didn’t why he was staring at her like he was waiting for her to say something. She opened her mouth, like she was tempted. But she shut it fast. She dismissed the effort and looked back front, keeping silent. Cameron’s smile faded a little. He looked at the ground as well, grimacing. For a couple minutes it was silent. It wasn’t  _ too  _ long a silence, but between them, it felt a lot longer. 

Eventually, of course, Cameron broke the silence. He figured she wouldn’t talk very much unless she had to, she was just that  _ way,  _ and by now he was well aware of the fact. So he asked her questioned. He asked what her house looked like, what her  _ room  _ looked like, if she had lived in this town her whole life, and about a million other things. At first she was put just the tiniest bit off by the incessantness, but eventually she was almost grateful for it. It took away the silence, anyway. She just barely had enough time to answer a question before he was pulling out another one; he had a never-ending arsenal. Pretty soon, they got to her house. It was a very _ standard _ -looking house, with maroon bricks and dark brown accents on the windows and doorway. The yard was perfectly kept. There were no cars in the driveway.

They walked up the stone path that led to the front door. Kay unlocked it and let Cameron in first. A few steps forward and to the right, there was a nice spacey kitchen with an island. A few steps further was a staircase. There was a hallway to the right, but Cameron couldn’t see where that led to. Nearby was a dining table with a chair on each side. To the left, was a living room fit with all the staples: a TV, a couch, some loveseats and a coffee table. Other than that...there wasn’t much. There were no photos on the walls. No paintings, or decorations. There weren’t even any unnecessary fake plants. If it wasn’t for the warm color scheme of the browns, reds and greens, the place would have looked really cold. 

Still, when Kay walked into the living room and put her bag aside, Cameron, he was still smiling. “Nice place,” he commented. He followed after Kay and mimicked her, to put his bag down where she had. She offered him a slightly uncomfortable smile, but he was quick to keep on reassuring her. “It’s homey! I like it!” he insisted. She didn’t know what to say, so she just kind of shrugged. She’d rather just move on; they had a project to do. Wordlessly, she just sat on the couch, delving into her pack and getting her laptop back out. 

Cameron lingered a little awkwardly, looking around a little more before uncertainty back to her. He hesitated a little before he asked: “Can I sit down?”

That was surprising. Cameron usually  _ did  _ first and  _ thought  _ later. She was silent for a second, just looking at him for a couple seconds. But she shook her head fast, gesturing to the couch and turning back to her laptop. “Sure. Yeah. Go ahead.” Cameron smiled a little more and sat down by her. She looked away quick, logging into her computer and pulling back up their word document. They were almost through with the rough draft of their report. They were stuck, here. She let out a gusty sigh. Cameron was reaching into his backpack to get the book back out. She hung her head and rubbed her forehead. “I can’t believe we’re stuck.” It was a true frustration. But mostly she was saying it just to break the silence. It was  _ bugging  _ her that Cameron was quieter all of a sudden. She looked back up and scowled at the screen. “We’re so close to the  _ ending.” _

Cameron scooted a little closer, so he could see the screen. She looked at him when he did. He caught her looking and shifted a little bit back again. “I dunno,” he offered. “Endings can be the hardest part.” Her eyes flashed when he said this. Something in her expression must have changed. Because he frowned a little, and asked: “What?”

She was quiet for a moment more just staring. But she shook herself and tore her thoughts back to where they belonged. “I- nothing,” she muttered. She cleared her throat a little when she turned back to the laptop and scrolled through their paper, a little pointlessly, because she wasn’t paying attention to anything written. “Nothing, you just have a point.” Her voice stayed just a mumble. Cameron’s frown stayed a little. His eyes flickered from the computer, to her. She was resting her chin in her hand, covering her mouth a little in the process. She didn’t say anything else. And suddenly she was awfully concerned about reading over what they’d already written. 

Cameron wilted, but took the hint. He must have said something wrong. He refocused on the paper, not looking at her again. For a long ten seconds neither of them said anything. Kay wasn’t editing the document so much as she was just scrolling up and down. He had no idea what was wrong...if  _ anything  _ was. Cameron made a face and looked down, messing with his sleeves as he pulled them over his hands and back again to his wrists. Eventually Kay mumbled something about needing another quote under her breath. He took the opportunity at once. He practically yanked it open and started flipping through, trying to find a relevant one.

For a while it passed like this. Cameron just flipped through the book and tried to find quotes. Kay quietly tried to define and establish their point better. At least the tension helped them work more. She was grateful for that, at least. But… she wasn’t all too sure he was grateful for any other part of it. She didn’t know why, but she preferred it when he was talking her ear off. So it almost came as a relief when he finally took in a deeper breath and offer an ice breaker of: “If I have to look at this book for one more second, I’m going to  _ die _ .” She blinked a couple times when she looked at him, away from her laptop. He stared at her very levelly, before he offered: “I’m thinking by either spontaneous combustion, or heart attack. Those are your two options.”

She paused. But then started to crack a small smile as she turned back. “Those are my two options?” she echoed.

“Well, you  _ do  _ have a third,” he amended. You can spare my life and we can actually take a break.”

Kay eyed him. “I thought we came here to work.”

“Come on Kansas. We’ve been working non-stop, we’ve never actually had the chance to just hang out.” She still seemed  unconvinced. “Please? It’s not like I’m asking you to go skydiving… that’s not until Tuesday.” Kay stifled a laugh; usually she was good at hiding it when she did (the last thing she wanted to do, after all, was encourage him) but he caught it this time, and she didn’t mistake the wide grin that came over his face in response. “C’mon,” he urged. “We deserve a break, don’t we?” When she didn’t answer immediately, he tipped his head to the side and amended: “Well,  _ I  _ deserve a break. I don’t know about  _ you,  _ but you can mooch off of all my work, I guess.”

She was hesitant. “If we keep working, we might be able to finish this thing tonight.” 

Cameron gave her a surprised look, “Really? Tonight?”

“Yeah! Wouldn’t that be great! We could finally have this stupid assignment off our backs.”

Cameron’s response caught her by surprise. “Absolutely not.” She frowned, and looked at him in confusion. He threw his hands up into the air. “If we finish it tonight, we won’t hang out nearly as much! I can’t have that, I’d miss you too much.” A couple seconds of silence passed, where she wasn’t sure what to say. Cameron grinned when he let his arms drop again. He just smirked at her shocked expression. She kept blanching, not at all sure what to say.

Before she shoved herself over the hump and dismissed it. She just scoffed and gave in. She wasn’t one to give in easily, however, so he should consider this an accomplishment. She leaned over and grabbed the remote that was sitting on the coffee table. A little TV wouldn’t hurt. Cameron immediately made a show of jumping up more, grinning eagerly. He flung the book over his shoulder for added effect, and she shot him a look that requested he not trash her home. But all she did was ask: “What do you want to watch?”

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

It was freezing. Tonight was unseasonably cold, which made sense, because it was a football game, so why  _ wouldn’t  _ it be so cold the entire marching band was shivering in the bleachers? Every other Friday night, and the band was forced to stand here in the stands and watch their football team consistently lose. Not even lose; they lost with flying colors. Every single game, without fail, they would be lucky to score a single point. There wasn’t really much hope left in them. Just plenty of irritation that they had to continuously cheer for a team that didn’t have a single chance of winning.

Well…  _ Kay  _ was irritated, anyway. Everyone else didn’t seem to have a problem with it. They weren’t paying much mind to the game; their section of the stands were just as lively and talkative as the rest. The trombones were knee-deep in a game of Never Have I Ever (apparently one of them had indeed gotten arrested, but she wasn’t sure which one it had been and she didn’t have time to unpack all of that). The clarinets were arguing over whether or not the latest unbearably-hot-but-somehow-single-so-there’s-probably-something-wrong-with-them white guy on The Bachelor picked the  _ good  _ blonde instead of the evil one. The mellophones and the trumpets were currently pointing out football players on the field and rating how cute they were.

_ Her  _ section was playing Down by the Bank, which Messerli had  _ specifically  _ banned, after one too many painful slaps that actually ended up with someone else getting a sprain somehow. That was thanks to Jordan, of course. Those that weren’t were just talking and laughing and complaining about tests or other students. Asking each other what they were going to wear to the winter formal in a couple of months. She was just standing there thinking about how she could be using this time to study. Listing to herself all the other things she could be doing right now that would be more productive than stand here and stare at a football team lose. Again.

Apparently her irritation wasn’t as hidden as she’d hoped. Jordan got out in Down by the Bank- the others went on without him. Once he did, and he turned to glance at her, he frowned and leaned over a bit. “You okay?” he asked. She roused. She’d been staring absently at the field, pretending to pay attention. When she turned, it was just to meet his concerned frown. He raised his eyebrows. “You look a little-”

“Hey!” Their heads snapped back at the call, and they looked to the podium that had been set up on the game’s outskirts, on the track. Mr. Messerli had been the one to call, but Cameron was the one spinning around and lifting his arms. He’d been leaning out over the edge of it to talk to Mike and Janet, who were standing at its base for the percussion, who were set up there for the time being. But now he was snapping to attention and the rest of the band was as well. He called out the number of the song they were to play, counted them off, and they played the school’s Fight Song in the intermission of plays in the game. Just grabbing at the thirty seconds of time they had to actually get a tune in.

They played through it and repeated it, before Messerli shot Cameron a look and he hurriedly cut them off. Kay sighed as she let her arms fall. As soon as the song was over, Jordan was back to looking at her with a frown, and a little crease in her forehead. “Kay, what’s up?” he asked again. She was watching Cameron swing out his arms and spin right back around to lean over and talk to Mike again. They were discussing Bagel Tuesdays, she was pretty sure. “Kay!” she jerked, and turned. He nudged her. “What’s up?” he repeated.

“Nothing,” she huffed. She turned her attention back to the field. “I’m just annoyed. I don’t want to be here.”

He looked between her and the players. His eyes flashed, and he perked. “Oh!” Her expression flashed with anger at the new tone of voice he was instantly using. She fought the urge to shove him off the bleachers. “Don’t tell me this is the same-?” 

“It’s not,” she snapped, her voice thin.

“No, it is!” Jordan insisted. “This is the school that-”

“Jordan, stop,” she grumbled.

“Is he still on the team? Have you-?”

_ “Jordan.”  _ He clammed up when she turned and shot him a glare fit to kill. He looked a little disappointed at the lack of gossip. He got the message anyway, and turned. Maybe it was because he wanted to respect her wishes and he wanted to be a good friend. Maybe it was because the section was starting a new game and he could rejoin again. Either way, she was just glad that he shut up. She didn’t want to talk. She didn’t want to  _ be  _ here. She wanted to go home. She glanced over at the clock and groaned when she realized there was still five minutes left until halftime. Five minutes in football time was more like five hours.

Besides their tiny section, the bleachers were filled with roaring talking students. It was usually a mess, like it was now. Everyone cheering and stomping, friends shoving each other, despite the fact the team sucked and there really shouldn’t be any cause for celebration. But someone was dodging through the mess to get to them, and she perked when her eyes caught on them. She turned and blinked a couple times with faint surprise when she recognized Jonathan come out of the throng. She hadn’t realized he’d been here.

He weaved through the students and walked up so that he could lean against the fencing that separated the stands the field. The podium was right up against that, and once Cameron realized Jonathan had found his way over he beamed and spun around the other way, abandoning his lament with Mike and instead leaning over the  _ other  _ side so he could look down at his brother. “Johnny!” A tiny smile twitched the very edge of her smile when he let out this cry. Cameron put his chin down on his arms. “How’s the show?” he chirped.

“It sucks,” Jonathan announced. Cameron made a face. “We’re losing zero to thirty-five.”

“Not  _ that  _ show,” Cameron snapped. “I meant  _ our  _ show. Nobody goes to the football games for  _ football.  _ They go for the  _ band _ .” 

“ _ I’m _ just here to make sure you don’t get killed by a football player,” Jonathan corrected. “They’re huge. You’re annoying. The math adds up to something pretty unfortunate.” He hesitated, before he leaned up more against the fence. “ _ Or _ fortunate,” he added, feigning thought. “For me. In terms of getting sleep. And peace and quiet. And less migraines. And-”

“I get it, you’re the worst twin ever, you don’t need to remind me,” he huffed. “And I’m not annoying,” he rushed to tack on. “I’m a  _ delight.  _ Ask anyone.”

She cracked another smile. She ducked her head a little, as if to hide it.

“Yeah, okay, sure,” he scoffed. Cameron just grinned his goofy smile. Jonathan smiled a little too before he moved on. “You guys aren’t doing your show at halftime?”

“Not this game,” Cameron sighed. “They’re announcing the court for that dance that’s coming up. And other stuff that’s definitely  _ not  _ as important as our show.” He shook his head. “We have the whole halftime and third quarter off tonight; we can get dinner then, if you want.” Jonathan nodded, pushing a bit off the fence. Cameron’s expression got a little more mischievous when he prodded: “You asking anyone to that winter formal?”

Jonathan snorted and rolled his eyes. “I’ll do that as soon as  _ you  _ admit you don’t know as much as you think you do about medicine just because you started watching  _ Grey’s Anatomy.” _

“I could  _ absolutely  _ perform an emergency tracheostomy if such a situation ever presented itself,” Cameron mumbled, as Jonathan continued to talk over him.

“I wouldn’t be caught dead at a school dance, I’d rather get hives.” He eyed him. “Why? Are  _ you  _ going to ask someone?”

Her eyes flickered back up at this.

Cameron hesitated for just a couple seconds. Before shrugged and shook his head. “No. I dunno, probably not.” Kay reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear. “School couldn’t handle me anyway, I party too hard. The cops would be called. It’d be this whole thing.” 

Jonathan snickered. “You party too hard,” he echoed, disbelief in every syllable.

“I’ve had the band play our rendition of  _ Hollaback Girl three  _ times now;  _ obviously  _ I’m a riot.”

“There’s certainly a word for you, I just can’t say it,” Jonathan sighed.

“You’re just really crabby because-” Cameron couldn’t finish the sentence because Messerli was reaching over again to nudge him. He glanced back at the field and Kay did, too. She jolted the same time Cameron did when they both realized the quarter had ended. The players were all going off the field for halftime. Kay was already lifting her instrument again by the time Cameron turned around and counted them off again. They played the same song -- it was ‘tradition’ but at this point it was also very boring -- twice through. 

When Cameron relaxed, Messerli called out to the band: “Be back before fourth quarter!” And they were all dismissed. Immediately, everyone was rushing to get out of the stands they’d been trapped in for the past two hours. They were rushing to find their other friends that  _ weren’t  _ in band, they were rushing to get concessions, they were rushing to see whether or not they could beat the clock and make it down the street to get a milkshake and be back before they had to start playing again. Kay just kind of stood there as everyone else rushed around.

Cameron hopped down from the podium. He stayed on the track, with the percussion and the other drum majors. Jonathan went down to join their group, and so did Beth and some of the other trumpets. They formed their own little congregation. A couple of the other kids took this chance to actually  _ sit down,  _ and fool around on their phone. She followed their lead. She’d downloaded the school app; with all the shouting and announcements and winter formal court catwalks, it wasn’t the best venue to study. But she wasn’t really in the mood to go down and hide in the bathroom for some peace and quiet. She’d done that already; wasn’t as glamorous as it sounded.

She did her best to block it out and study for her next test. She got through about half of the powerpoint before someone was calling her name. “Kay!” She couldn’t discern who it was by their voice; it was too loud. But already, she had a sinking feeling in her stomach, and when she picked her head up and looked towards the voice, her worst fears were confirmed. He was smiling, as he walked walked towards her. He looked exactly like he always did. He walked with his hands in his pockets and his head lifted up just a little bit high, as he walked with the attitude of someone that knew they were most likely at least a  _ little  _ better than you were. Even though they’d gotten all the way to halftime, and he’d been wearing a helmet this entire time, somehow his hair still looked near perfect.

Her grip tightened on her phone. She squared her shoulders just a little bit. She prayed that he would get the message and walk away, but he kept veering straight for her. She said nothing; she just waited. He got closer to her to call out again, not as loud, considering she’d be able to hear him now. “I was wondering if you would be here,” he grinned. By now, she was worried she’d snap her phone in half, she was holding onto it so hard. The boy came to stop. His smile was crooked. “I didn’t know whether you’d still be in band,” he offered. 

“I am.” Her response was curt. He waited, as though he thought she’d say more. She didn’t. 

So he just cleared his throat and nodded. “Well I’m glad! It’s good to see you, it’s been a while.” She didn’t say anything to this, either. He hesitated a second before he asked: “Is this seat taken?” She was about to reply and say it was. The band was on break now, but she could very well still say that it was reserved for members only. But he was already taking a seat beside her. She fought the urge to scoot away, and just looked at her lap instead. “I see your football team is as great as they’ve always been,” he remarked, either ignoring her attitude or simply not noticing it. “We’re creaming them.  _ Again.”  _

She glanced at his jersey and looked back front. “Shouldn’t you be with your school? Taking a break?” Her voice was thin.

“I wanted to come and see you,” he said, a little softer this time. She shifted, but kept silent. His eyes flashed, and he leaned a little closer. She wished he wouldn’t. “I’ve texted you… called you a couple times-- you haven’t answered me at all.” 

“I’ve been busy,” she offered. 

“Apparently.” He sounded a little stiffer, but when she looked at him, he was regaining his smile. “You still look cute in your uniform,” he offered. She looked down at herself and then back front, feeling her face burn. She didn’t even crack a smile. He wilted just a little bit. “C’mon, Kay… I just want to talk to you. I wanna… know how you’re doing, what’s going on. It isn’t every day I get to see you.” 

“Well. You’ve seen me,” she sighed, looking back down at her phone.

His smile wilted. He paused for a second. His voice was low when he began to try: “How are you doing?” he prompted. Her jaw locked back a little. “How are you doing with-?”

“You know what, you don’t get to ask me that question,” she interrupted in a grumble. She glanced back at him, a little sharper. He seemed disappointed at the cut-off. But at her look, he didn’t object. He just cleared his throat and took whatever it was he was going to say, back. She was grateful for that, at least. She looked away again. Her eyes caught on the track down below. Cameron was leaning against the stands, laughing at something Beth had said. He was sharing a pretzel with Jonathan. He was saying something that his brother was rolling eyes at. Messerli was down there with them, too, throwing a couple sarcastic comments over his shoulder, it looked like.

She found herself wishing she was down there, instead.

“Kay?” She looked back. Her expression was more strained. He tried to give her another smile. “I was… planning on asking what you were doing after the game.” Something in her chest ached. It must have come across on her face, because he went on fast, before she could shoot him down. “I know your band usually… goes somewhere together afterwards-”

“I don’t go with them,” she cut through again. 

This was a mistake, because he brightened even more. “Then you’re free?” She didn’t answer right away. His eyebrows pulled together more, in a subtle plead for her to take him more into consideration. “We wouldn’t have to stay out for very long. Just… long enough to catch up again. Long enough to… talk about a couple things, just really quick.” She leaned over and held her head in her hands, across her forehead like she was have a sudden headache. And she did, practically. “Kay…” Every attempt was weaker. “You never even really… gave me the  _ chance  _ to-”

“I gave you  _ plenty  _ of chances,” she objected, just weakly.

“I’m asking for one more,” he pressed. “Just  _ one  _ more, now that-”

“Kansas!” The two jerked around at the shout, Kay’s heart dropping down to her feet. Cameron had separated from the rest of the group to hop up the stairs to where she was still sitting. He was wearing a smile as he started to call out: “Messerli asked if I would get a couple other section leaders and see if we could-” He stopped short, his smile fading a little when he saw the look that was on her face. She tried to wipe it clean when he got closer, but it was too late, because his eyes flickered over to the boy sitting beside her, and a frown began crawling over his face instead as he came closer. When he spoke next, his voice was soberer. “What’s up?” he asked, a little slower.

“Did you just call her Kansas?” the football player asked, sounding bemused.

Cameron didn’t even blink. His expression and his voice were steady when he said very plainly: “That’s my nickname for her.” Her shoulders hunched a little at the unexpected tug in her chest at the announcement. She wasn’t even sure where the tug had come from, but it was suddenly there. And it was there again when Cameron looked at her and asked: “You okay?”

“I’m…” She shook herself and offered him a smile. She could tell that he wasn’t all that persuaded by the grin. She put more effort into it. “I’m fine, Cameron. Uh… Cameron, this is Isaac,” she introduced, gesturing between the two of them. Cameron looked at him when she did, and smiled. Isaac returned it and nodded just a little. “Isaac, this is… this is Cameron, he’s our drum major. A friend.” She cleared her throat. “Cameron, Isaac’s… he’s…”

“We used to date,” he explained for her. 

Cameron nodded. “Oh. Okay. Nice to meet you.” Glanced back at Kay. He still looked a little concerned. He hesitated for a second, before he asked in a tinier mumble, trying to make it so only she heard. “Are you okay?” She was a little taken aback by the worry that was underneath those three words. The way he looked at her, she wasn’t sure she’d seen that look on his face. Granted… she hadn’t known him for very long. It caught her off-guard. She silent for a couple seconds, just staring at him. Remembering the feeling she’d had before, of wanting to be down there with them, instead. 

She smiled. “I’m fine,” she assured. “I’m fine. Really.”

He nodded slowly. Still seemed a little put off, but wasn’t about to fight her. “Yeah. Alright.” He looked back at Isaac after the pause, and regained his usual smile. “Don’t worry about what Messerli wants, I’ll find some other people. It was nice to meet you, Isaac.” He glanced at the scoreboard and offered a little lighter: “Maybe just lay on the field in the second half, let us at least get one touchdown.” Isaac smiled and nodded again. Cameron started walking backwards; his eyes flickered to Kay one last time. But when she kept her smile for him, he turned on his heel and started back the way he’d come.

Kay watched him go, before she looked back down at her hands. She was frowning. Isaac hesitated before he said: “I’ve never seen him before, at one of these.”

“He’s new,” she murmured.

His forehead creased. “He’s new and he’s a drum major?” She didn’t say anything. She just shrugged one shoulder again. Isaac looked after where he’d gone again, getting distracted for a second. But then he looked at the scoreboard and saw how much time was left in halftime. He turned back to her and forgot the encounter entirely. He went back to what he was saying before. “Kay… just hear me out after the game.” She sighed. “We can go and get something to eat. Just dinner; just one dinner. And we can talk and we can clear the air, and…” He was looking at her sadly, now. “Maybe we can… try again.” The suggestion was almost too soft to hear.

She closed her eyes. Said nothing.

He leaned a little closer. She  _ really  _ wished he wouldn’t. “One more chance,” he pleaded. “Just one more chance, I know I messed up, but I know that I can make it right again.” She opened her eyes but didn’t look at him. “I know we can be happy again, we just have to try and give it one more shot.”

She studied the field, and the cheerleaders that were performing their dance on the fifty yard line. She crossed her arms, as though she was hugging herself. Her eyes caught lower, again. She looked over and saw that Cameron had found Jordan and was currently tugging on Beth and Jonathan’s arm. She could hear Jonathan complaining even from where they sat. “I’m not even a section leader, I don’t even know what a section leader  _ is,  _ don’t make me help you with your nerd thing.”

She barely heard Cameron’s reply as they were walking away. The only reason she heard anything was because he was chirping it so loudly, beaming and jumping as he kept pulling on his brother’s arm. “Shut  _ up,  _ we are gonna have  _ fun,  _ you’re such a stick in the mud! With a  _ rock  _ on top of it, so the stick is  _ super buried and never gonna get out!” _

Her expression softened. A tiny smile twitched at the far edges of her lips.

“Kay.” When she didn’t answer, Isaac prompted her again. She turned back to him, reluctantly. “What do you say?” he prompted.

She paused. She didn’t know why she did, because she knew her answer. But still, she hesitated a little over her words before she got them out. Softly, but very firmly, at the same time. She shook her head. Watched him already deflate with disappointment even before she elaborated. “No. I don’t want to give it another try. Once was enough; it told me all I needed to know.” She said it very nicely, no edge at all to her voice. Still, his expression broke with hurt. “I don’t want to bring up old problems. I want to leave them in the past. I want to leave  _ us  _ in the past.”

At least Isaac didn’t object. He looked like he wanted to, but all he did was look at her with remorse and regret in his eyes. She didn’t want to look at him anymore, and see that. She found herself turning back, and looking the way Cameron had gone, instead. She couldn’t see him anymore. But she sounded very sure of herself when she said: “I don’t want to focus on the past. I just want to focus on the future.”

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

It was December third. To Kay, it was just another Friday. To practically everyone else, it was a very  _ momentous  _ Friday. So much so, it was almost suffocating. Because it was the night of the winter formal. All day at school, everyone had been bursting with excitement. Girls were sitting together and gossiping about who was going with who, showing pictures of their dresses to each other and fawning over one another’s, saying “It’s so cute!” when really they were just mentally comparing their outfit to their best friend’s and thinking they looked better. They were talking about how romantic the night would be, how there would be slow dances and dinners beforehand and all that nauseating stuff that happened before the entire student body was shoved into the gymnasium that had  _ maybe  _ a couple of snowflakes just taped to the wall.

If it was hard to tell, Kay wasn’t impressed. She’d  _ never  _ been impressed with school dances. Not only because it was a lot of work for just one night and it wasn’t even a night with good music. She just had more important things to do than loiter in the hallways of a school she’d been at for seven hours already. Once she left this place, she never really had the urge to come back. Dances were just excuses for girls to get passive-aggressive with each other, for guys to make really weird and awkward advances on you that you didn’t appreciate, to spend a lot of money on a dress you most likely won’t wear again, or for unnecessary drama about someone cheating on their boyfriend with their best friend or something just as ridiculous. Plus nobody had ever asked her to go to one. So. She didn’t like them. 

She walked home. Cameron had left a little earlier with Jonathan; Kay had had to stay to get some printing done because her home printer was acting up. There’s two dollars she’d never see again. She could admit to herself that was kind of weird to be walking and not having Cameron blabbering in her ear about some stupid stunt he pulled with a very reluctant Jonathan. She tried to ignore feeling weird and just placed some headphones in. When she made it home, she felt her phone buzz in her jacket pocket.

_ Mom: _

_ When you get home, remember the stove is acting up and that your father and I will be home very late tonight. _

_ We’ll both be eating out so feel free to get yourself some take-out. _

She was exhausted, and worn-down. It had been a long day -- a long  _ week  _ \-- at school, and she was just ready for a weekend that was uneventful just so she could relax from it. The second she got inside, she went to the couch and set her backpack down, there. Everyone else might be spending their night out, but  _ her  _ perfect night was just staying in. She let her hair down and took out her contacts. She needed to get another pair; these ones should have been thrown out five days ago. She could do that this weekend. She didn’t like having to wear her glasses, she didn’t feel like they fit her face right. 

She changed into more comfortable clothes and settled down on the couch. She got out her laptop and put her notebook on top of the keyboard. She started to flip through the papers, looking back over her notes. She had a research project to start in government. She could get a head start on it. She googled and took notes and tried not to fall asleep. It was difficult, though, considering she’d only had about six hours of sleep last night at the most. That didn’t do much for her concentration, either. A couple hours later, she had somehow changed from researching their state’s representatives, to being on Youtube watching random videos that came up from her recommended list. She was pretty sure that she had at least started with an educational need. Now she was watching a video about a kitten riding on a dog’s back.

Which was a good way to spend your Friday night, she guessed. At least it was something to take her mind off the formal. Not that she was thinking of the formal, it wasn’t on her mind at all. She hadn’t gone, so why would it be on her mind? Other people were thinking of it earlier today but it was only because they were going. Thinking about it now, she couldn’t really remember if Cameron had been thinking about the formal today. If he had been one of the people talking about it. She couldn’t remember if Lexi was showing off photos of a dress. She couldn’t remember if they’d talked at all today about dinner plans or dancing or…

She shook her head, and tried to refocus on what was in front of her. She didn’t need to be thinking of all that mess. It didn’t matter. So what if they had and she just hadn’t been paying attention?  If Cameron wanted to go to formal, he had every right to. If Lexi wanted to go with him and he wanted to go with Lexi, then by all means. She had no problem with it. Cameron was a good guy, of course Lexi would want to ask him out. It didn’t bother her. At all. She wasn’t even thinking about it. She didn’t care.

She made a face and adjusted her glasses. She shook her head as if to clear it manually, and click on another video, that would hopefully take her mind elsewhere. Or she could get back to her actual homework. The thought came with a little bit of guilt, and she turned to look towards her notebook, which had somehow ended up put aside on the table. But as soon as she was about to make the responsible choice and reach for her notebook again, there was a sound. She did a double-take, frowning and looking towards where it had come from. It sounded like a knock. But...it couldn’t be her parents. They were out on some business dinner, plus they had their keys. There was nobody else it could really  _ be. _

It was probably the wind. She stared at the door for a couple more moments before she looked back at her computer. But as soon as she put her fingers on the keyboard, there was  _ another  _ noise, and this time she  _ knew  _ that it was a knock. And she knew that it was probably a solicitor, so she shook her head and tucked back into her laptop. When the  _ doorbell  _ rang, and she realized that whoever this person was, they weren’t about to go anywhere unless she got up. So she sighed, and did just that.

She put her laptop down and headed for the front door. She looked through the peephole and did a double-take by the person she saw on the other side. For a couple moments, she was too shocked to do anything at all; she just stood there and stared, only faintly aware that her mouth was hanging a little open. But he knocked  _ again  _ and it snapped her out of it. 

She opened it to reveal a certain blue-eyed boy. He was standing on the other side of the threshold, wearing his goofy smile, along with dress pants and a button-up shirt. He looked wildly ecstatic to see her, even  _ if  _ she was looking at him like he was a Cheerio in her bowl of Lucky Charms. Not that she didn’t  _ hate  _ to see him there… she was just  _ surprised.  _ And  _ confused.  _ He wasn’t supposed to be here; he was supposed to be at the school.

“Cameron?” He started to open his mouth and reply, when Kay jerked, suddenly realizing something else. It was  _ snowing.  _ She’d spent longer than she thought fooling around on her computer. It was dark by now, and the snow was coming down in big flakes. She looked at him even odder, when she saw that he wasn’t wearing a coat. “And why are you dressed like that in this weather? You’re going to be sick!” Cameron looked down at himself with a frown. He looked more offended she’d insulted his outfit than reflective of his own stupidity. Which was kind of his thing. “What in the world are you even doing out here?” she demanded. 

“I was in the neighborhood!” he chirped. Kay looked at him, silently asking why he was like this. As, like, a person in general. “I was just having a nice, quiet night, and thought: ‘Why don’t I go pay my favorite friend -- whose name is also a city -- a visit? Granted… you are my  _ only  _ friend whose name is also a city. But that just makes you even more special.” Kay rolled her eyes. Cameron grinned, and grew much more serious when he shook his head and amended: “I actually came here to ask you something.”

“Ask me what?” she asked, befuddled. She was so confused, she wasn’t even noticing  _ herself,  _ how cold it was. She was letting all the hot air out of the house, but right now she wasn’t even worrying about it. “I thought… you would have gone to the formal. I thought you’d be down at the school.”

His grin widened. “That’s actually why I’m here.” Kay furrowed her brows in confusion. When Cameron suddenly brought his arm out from behind his back and produced a small but beautiful bouquet of flowers. It was all purples and blues and yellows. All her favorite colors. Her eyes went wide with confusion and surprise. Cameron’s smile stayed as he held this out towards her and requested: “Kay Daniels… will you  _ not  _ go to the winter formal with me?”

She was speechless. She just stared, looking between him and the flowers and not saying a single thing. When she finally managed to speak, it wasn’t nearly as articulate as she usually was. “What?” 

Cameron laughed a little. But more nervousness was leaking into his gaze and his voice now. He kept the flowers out towards her. “Will you  _ not  _ go to the winter formal with me?” he repeated. Still, she said nothing. “I mean… you give off the vibe that school dances weren’t your thing. Every time kids in band talked about, you did that thing where your nose scrunches up a little bit that you always do when you see or hear something you hate.” Her nose scrunched up, and he tacked on: “Or what you do when you’re  _ super  _ confused.” This got her to smile a little. A bit of his unease left, when he saw her grin. “So I just thought maybe we could hang out together, instead. We’re  _ much  _ more interesting than a formal.”

She was still quiet. Still standing with the door wide open, shivering but not at all even thinking about closing it again. Cameron started just as silently, waiting for her to say… pretty much anything. He used his other arm to prop up the one that was holding out the flowers. “My arm hurts,” he whispered, Kay’s eyes going back to the gift. “I wasn’t built for physical activity, Kansas.”

She said the first thing that came to mind. For some reason, she was automatically coming down his volume, to a tiny murmur. “You were  _ drum major.”  _ Half his  _ job  _ was just holding his arms out for an extended period of time.

He blinked, following her lead and looking from the gift to her just like she was to him. He kept holding his arm up. He whispered just as quietly back: “I know, I was just saying it so  _ you  _ would say something and not just stare at me because it was getting awkward.”

“What about Lexi?” 

Cameron jerked back a little bit, like she’d shoved him. He let his other arm swing down to his side. He kept the flowers where they were, though. He sounded absolutely bemused. “What  _ about  _ Lexi?”

“I…” She felt stupid saying it  _ now.  _ But it was already coming back, and it was the  _ truth,  _ so the rest just kind of fell out. “I mean… I thought you were going to the formal with her.” His eyes went wide. “I heard her… say she was going to ask you. Or… I thought you would have asked  _ her  _ to go with you.” Really, she had expected him to go with  _ anyone.  _ It wasn’t a secret that ever since they’d gotten to the school, nearly all the girls in school were fawning over him and his brother. He could probably have had his pick of the litter, if he wanted. So why was he  _ here,  _ and not  _ there? _

Cameron laughed. “No! No… I mean-- Lexi is nice, she’s really sweet and cool. I like talking to her in the halls and stuff.” Kay was shifting her weight a little. She glanced to the side, to look at the door frame, instead of him. He kept going on, though, and she looked back at him slowly when he did. “But I wouldn’t wanna go to the  _ dance  _ with her. I’d rather go to the dance with Johnny, and do you know how much he hates people?  _ Especially  _ when that ‘people’ is  _ me? _ Besides...” His grin faltered slightly. “I’d rather hang out with you.”

Usually, she tried to  _ monitor  _ her responses to him. She wasn’t one for too much emotion; pretty much everything she did was muted at least two levels down. But when he said this, she found a smile forcing itself over her face. She felt her cheeks warm when she beamed. She ducked her head to try and hide it more, but Cameron registered it. He pretty much always did. It took her a second, but she reached out and accepted the flowers. He made a show of sighing and shaking out his arm since it was relieved of its duty. She looked down at them with just as goofy a smile as Cameron wore all the time, probably. Before she snapped back to attention and stepped to the left, more. “Come inside, you goof,” she giggled.

“Oh no Kansas,” he refuted at once, not budging from the stoop. “I’m taking you out.”

“Out?” she echoed. He nodded earnestly. Very certain. She glanced behind him, to his car, and the snow that was coming down even harder. “Out  _ where?” _

“That’s the beauty of the whole thing,” he chirped. “It’s a  _ surprise!” _

She hesitated, eyeing him with a bit more nervousness, now. “I’m…” He frowned a little, noticing the subtle change. She tucked her hair behind her ear and her shoulders hunched just a little bit. She held the flowers a little closer to her chest. “I haven’t… uh…” She closed her eyes briefly, taking in a quick breath before she forced herself to look back up at him. “I haven’t gone  _ out…  _ in… a long time,” she mumbled. He tilted his head to the side quizzically. “I don’t…” The more she spoke, the quieter and softer she got. “I just… might not be…. as much  _ fun  _ as you…  _ think  _ I’ll be.” They’d hung out plenty of times outside of school, but never like this. Before, it always had at least something to do with school. Now it was just… going out to go  _ out.  _ He’d be disappointed.

But he just regained his smile. His expression softened significantly. “Kay, I don’t  _ think  _ it’ll be fun, I  _ know  _ it will be.” He was quick to clarify. “If you don’t  _ want  _ to, we don’t have to. At all. But…  _ I _ know I wanna spend time with you. If that involves staying in, then we can stay in. I’m not a picky guy.”

She stared at him for a moment more, overthinking. He let her overthink, even though by now he was starting to shiver a little. After a moment, though, she smiled a little again. She stepped more to the left and gestured in. “At least come inside and wait while I get changed.” She was dressed in an oversized sweater and leggings. Not exactly proper clothing for going out in this weather. She couldn’t very well admonish Cameron for being stupid with his outfit and then turn right around to do the same exact thing.

Cameron smirked, putting a hand up to his chest, as if scandalized. “ _ Kansas _ , I don’t believe we’re that close yet.” She rolled her eyes, shooting him a look. He laughed a little as he ducked over the threshold, brushing the snow off his shoulders when he mused: “But if you  _ insist _ .” He started to head for the couch, when he suddenly froze in his tracks and spun around. “Holy crap!” he shouted; Kay jumped about a foot into the air. He jabbed a finger out towards her. “ _ How  _ did I not notice until this  _ very second!?  _ Are you wearing _ glasses?” _

Kay’s hands flew up to them. She blinked a couple times; she felt her cheeks warm all over again, this time for a much different reason. It wasn’t that she was  _ ashamed  _ of her glasses...it was just-- she didn’t like the way they sat on her face. She didn’t like the way they seemed a little too  _ big  _ for her face. She didn’t...like them. Her smile wilted a little. She started to turn for the stairs. She could get changed and just wear her overused contacts again anyway. They’d been just fine up until now; they’d be fine for a little longer. “Yeah,” she mumbled. “I’m gonna go upstairs, I-”

“You look really cute,” he interrupted, smiling earnestly.

She stopped short, and looked back at him. One hand was still up against her frames. Surprise was written plain on her face, but Cameron just smiled brighter against it. Now her face was _really_ hot. She cleared her throat and jerked her arm down, moving instead to gesture at the couch awkwardly. “Just... _sit_ _down_ before I change my mind.”

Cameron’s eyes flashed with something close to mischief. He grinned as he spun around on his toe, marching over to the sofa upon request. “Yes ma’am,” he practically sang. She softened and regained a little more of her smile when he spun back around to look at her as he plopped down into the cushions. He made a show of crossing his legs and setting his chin eagerly on his hand. 

She rolled her eyes again, and turned back for the stairs. “I’ll be right back.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be here,” he sang after, and she didn’t bother to hide her smile as she went up to her room, since her back was to him.

Once she got upstairs in her room and shut the door behind her, she took a second just to stand there and stare, and mentally contemplate. Contemplate as in wondering what the heck she was supposed to do. She looked down at herself and her outfit, then back up with faint frustration. She went to her closet and pulled out another outfit. Hesitated, before she turned and grabbed another. Tried both on and wondered why the heck she even  _ owned  _ these clothes. 

She threw them aside and put on jeans--  you couldn’t go wrong with  _ jeans _ , right? She put those on and tried a button-up shirt like Cameron had on. That looked stupid; she looked like a middle-schooler. She tried a green long-sleeved shirt, but green looked  _ horrible  _ on her. Blue looked good, but it only had short sleeves and it was way too cold for that. She was getting frustrated when she threw on her seventh try - just a cozy sweater - and decided that this was the best she was going to do.

She started to leave, very well aware she’d already made Cameron wait about seven minutes, at the least. But she stopped short, looking at herself in the mirror and weakening. She turned, combing through her hair messily with her fingers, to try and make it look at least halfway decent. She tried to poof it out more. She tried to slick it down. She started to try and do a braid, before she realized she didn't have the talent or the time. She tried to pull it back. Tried it up in a bun. Reflected on the fact that she didn’t blame Britney Spears for shaving all  _ hers  _ off, because she was three seconds away from doing it. And then just shook it out and decided it wasn’t getting any better.

She started to head for the bathroom to put her contacts back in. But she stood there, staring at herself for a second, and adjusting her glasses. Then decided they were okay to stay. She just headed downstairs, taking them two at a time. Cameron was on his phone, his expression a little dull, but he looked up the second she reappeared and grinned. He perked right back up. She smiled back, wondering why the heck she felt so self-conscious about what she was  _ wearing.  _ It was just  _ Cameron.  _ She moved on quickly, to hopefully move on from that. “So why did you want to hang out tonight anyway?” They could hang out  _ any night.  _ She was guaranteed to  _ always  _ be free, basically.

Cameron shrugged. “I thought it’d be fun. Us  _ sticking it to the man  _ by not going to the formal!” Kay raised an eyebrow. His voice was much less triumphant when he continued, standing up. “Plus, Johnny was real close to kicking me out of the house for singing along to his ABBA music. Claimed I was ruining SOS but Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan ruined it long before I ever touched it.” Kay looked at him strangely, laughing a little, because he always seemed to have  _ something  _ odd to say. He never ceases to amaze. “So I had a few options. One would have been to shut up. Which, of course, I  _ never  _ do. Another would have been to wander the streets on my own in the hopes that no scary man in a dark windowless van kidnaps me. Or third, and more appealingly...hang out with Kay.”

Kay softened. He followed her to the door as she grabbed her coat and slipped it on. “And you couldn’t have just shut up?” she snickered.

“Kansas, you know that’s  _ simply  _ not my style.” They walked outside, and he went over to his car. To her surprise, though, it was only to fetch his coat. He must have seen the odd look she gave, because he straightened. “Where I have in mind is just a ten minute walk,” he explained. He glanced around at the snow, and smiled a bit more sheepishly. “Unless you don’t want to walk. We  _ could  _ drive. It’s just...walking is kinda our thing. At least, I thought it was,” he added. There was a brief hesitation before he started: “We can drive, I can-”

“No, no,” she rushed. “Walking is just fine. Walking’s nice.” Cameron slackened with a little bit of relief. He started to round the car back to her so they could walk side-by-side. “It’s not a windy night,” she said, relieved for that at least. She looked up and felt a genuine tug of happiness. “And the snow’s pretty. Just a little cold,” she laughed.

He looked up too. Caught a few snowflakes on his tongue. “Yeah,” he agreed. “It is. The snow wasn’t like this in New York...it was...I dunno, it seemed dirtier.” She glanced at him. He looked thoughtful. “The roads were always cleared as soon as the snow touched the ground, basically. So there were always just these...piles of snow everywhere that were all black and gross. There wasn’t a lot of space to play, like there would be here. Growing up, I mean. Johnny and I would always try and...make  _ do,  _ but…”

She frowned a little. Kept staring at him as they walked. “Well...I’m glad you have it now,” she offered. 

He smiled. “Yeah,” he said, very simply.

There was a beat of silence, before Kay brightened. “You and Jonathan seem really close." He was always at band practices, and football games. The two were always sitting together, at lunch.

“He’s my best friend,” Cameron replied easily. “I love him. And he loves me, even though he tries to make it  _ seem  _ like he doesn’t, because that’s just the way he is.” Kay giggled. Cameron’s expression was the softest she’d ever seen it. “He’s a good brother...he’s always got my back. I’ve always got his.” Her smile weakened, the more he went on. Her shoulders slumped, just a little. Her expression flashed when she looked back front, instead of at him. He glanced at her, frowning a little. “You okay?” he asked.

“Oh- yeah. Yeah, of course,” she reassured, getting herself out of the lapse quickly. She got her smile back. “I’m fine. That’s nice. That you two are so close.” Cameron smiled a little, but he still seemed a little unsure. But when she looked at him again, her expression was unbothered. Exactly the way it had been before. “So what did you two do in New York when it snowed?” she asked. 

Cameron’s eyes lit up. A huge smile spread over his face, and she knew she had struck gold when it came to another ‘Cam story.’ He could go on and on, whenever he hit one of those. “Oh, geez. There was this  _ one  _ time. Okay, so there was this one, like,  _ week  _ where it wouldn’t stop snowing, and I had the  _ most fantastic idea  _ to make  _ actual snow  _ snow cones, right? But what I didn’t realize, was the fact that food  _ dye  _ doesn’t actually have a  _ flavor _ …”

As they walked along the sidewalks and crossed the roads, Kay couldn’t help but smile just a at the fact that Cameron was talking her ear off once again.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

They stopped to get dinner, first. Cameron was  _ especially  _ certain to layer on the fact that they had more in store. They went to eat at a diner. A cozy little place that Cameron looked far too dressed up to fit. She was sure every other couple tonight -- not that they were a couple, by any means, of course not, she just meant couple as in  _ two people,  _ which they  _ were  _ \-- went to one of the more upscale restaurants. The kind where a salad was nine bucks and there weren’t any free refills. The type of place where if you  _ weren’t  _ dressed up as though you were going to a dance, you felt severely  _ under _ dressed. 

_ This  _ place was the opposite. It was on the smaller side, and the meals were four dollars. The fanciest thing to order was probably a milkshake, and nine out of ten of the tables probably had  _ some  _ kind of sticky spot on them. The waiters and waitresses weren’t nearly as formal, and they always called regulars by their names, so you could tell who was always around. Kay hadn’t been here a lot. She hardly ever ate out, so she’d hardly ever been anywhere. But… she liked this place. A lot. 

She’d order a vanilla milkshake. Cameron had gone taken a much more fun route; he’d gotten one that was more M&M than milkshake. They’d ordered a while ago; the food was taking some time to get out, but that was okay. It didn’t feel so long. She didn’t mind if it  _ did _ feel a little long, even. They’d talked about a lot of stuff, never finding a gap or drag in conversation. They talked about school gossip -- mainly Cameron filled Kay in on what she usually didn’t care to know about -- they complained about teachers together, and went through their favorites. Favorite food, favorite color, favorite drink… Cameron seemed very intent on branding each one to memory.

“So you  _ like  _ blue, green, and purple-- but  _ only  _ light colors, you hate everything that’s  _ not  _ pastel. And your  _ absolute favorite  _ is light yellow.” He winked. “I’ll remember. I’ve gotta write this all down in my phone.” She rolled her eyes, eating another scoop of her ice cream. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a milkshake; she’d forgotten how good they were. Cameron grinned, doing the same. He pointed his spoon towards her and made a face. “Anyway, so what’s up with all the people in our school, are they just really stupid?” he asked. She balanced her chin on her hand, confused when she looked back up at him. “Like, all the guys. I mean, I thought I was pretty stupid, and I’m  _ pretty sure I am,  _ but they must be  _ really  _ stupid.”

“Why?” She hesitated, and offered: “I mean, they  _ are.”  _ Yesterday when they were walking through the halls, Mike had run into a wall. “But why?”

“You’re telling me that not a  _ single  _ guy asked you to go with them to this stupid dance?” Kay blinked, a little surprised as she sat up more. “Not a  _ single one? That’s  _ stupid. That’s  _ moronic.  _ Anyone would be lucky to go to a dumb dance with you.” She just kept staring at him, and he jerked, doing a little double-take. “Or…  _ did  _ someone ask you? I didn’t- I wasn’t meaning to imply that--”

“No, no, you… nobody asked me.” She flashed him an awkward smile. “But… I don’t like dances anyway. So...” She looked back down. She started gnawing a little on her lower lip. She tried to dismiss the question. But she felt a little heat foster in her cheeks at the question of whether or not it was that obvious. Guys never paid attention to her in general. When roses were being sold in the hallways around Valentine’s Day, she never even got one anonymously sent to her. Same for the candy canes around Christmas, or the little candy eggs in the spring. She didn’t mind it. She just minded that  _ other people  _ minded. That was when it got to her.

But Cameron’s voice was quiet, and steady, when he spoke up again. “I’m glad.” She looked back at him, frowning. He offered her a smile. A gentle, soft, heartfelt smile. “I’m glad nobody asked you,” he elaborated, when she only stared at him. “‘Cause otherwise  _ I  _ wouldn’t have been able to be with you. So I’m glad.” Her face grew even warmer. She tried to smile, but it felt so awkward on her face she wasn’t sure what it would look like. 

She tucked closer to herself, clearing her throat. “I-- I guess,” she mumbled, and Cameron laughed a little. She wished he wouldn’t, because it just made her stomach clench a little more than it already was. “Thank you, I mean,” she rushed. She made a face. “Or-- not thank you, I… I don’t know.” She really wanted the attention off of her. So she shook her head and changed it to the nearest topic sh could. “Why didn’t you  _ go  _ to the formal?” she blurted out. “I heard Lexi tell her friends she was going to ask you.”

He looked down and took another bite of his milkshake, which was basically just a glass of M&Ms. She was fairly certain just from eating that, he was going to get diabetes. “She  _ did  _ ask,” he answered. “Asked me after the last football game. On my way out.”

She frowned. “You said no?” He shrugged, and nodded. “Why?”

Cameron raised an eyebrow. “You seem  _ awfully  _ concerned…” he mumbled. He looked at her a little oddly. “Are you… trying to set me up with Lexi or something?”

_ “No!”  _ She exclaimed a little too quickly. She said this so fast and so loud that he jumped a little, in his seat. His eyes widened; he just stared at her. She quickly composed herself. “It’s just… I’m just surprised you didn’t, that’s all. I figured… you know, from the very beginning, you guys would have gone out. If you were gonna go out with anyone. She seemed to really like you.” He tilted his head to the side. She was rambling, which what she tended to do when she was nervous. And her nerves were just getting worse, the longer she talked. So it was a vicious cycle. “I’ve seen you guys talk, in the halls, she went to our band competitions, and it was always  _ only  _ to see you. I just…”

Cameron smirked, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Why, Kansas…” he mused, and the tone of voice he was starting to use, she was flashing him a look that already told him to shut up. It didn’t stop him, though. Which was dreadfully unsurprising. “You weren’t  _ jealous,  _ were you?”

_ “No!”  _ she snapped immediately, getting about ten times as red in the face.

Cameron just smiled even wider. He snickered when he accused: “I think you were jealous.”

“I was  _ not  _ jealous-- I’m  _ not  _ jealous!” she exclaimed. He just laughed a little more. “You can do whatever you want, Cameron, I don’t care at  _ all  _ what you do! You could… run away to Mexico and get married to a donkey and I wouldn’t care at all.” He made a show of looking very thoughtful, as if he was actually contemplating the domestic life that would result. “I mean, I’d care, I-- just not about  _ that  _ part, I…” She glared at him. His smile was just making it worse. “I’m just… gonna stop talking,” she exhaled, shaking her head and cursing herself. 

Cameron’s smile softened. “I think you’re just overthinking things,” he suggested. Before he added nicely: “You usually overthink things.”

Kay looked at him with gratitude. She was quiet for a second, before she mumbled with a tiny laugh. “Maybe.”

She looked back down at her milkshake, but Cameron wasn’t about the do the same. He kept looking at her, with that fond little grin still on his face. “I have no idea  _ why  _ you’d be jealous,” he said. Kay gave him a questioning look. She looked like he’d just told her three plus three equals seven. He shook his head. “Kay, you’ve got nothing to be jealous of, ever. For  _ anyone.  _ You’re  _ smart,  _ Kay; all your classes are AP and I guarantee if I look into your notebook I wouldn’t understand a single note you have. It’d be in  _ Latin.  _ You’re  _ fun--  _ even if you try your best to make it seem like you’re not. And you’re  _ really  _ pretty. You’re… probably the prettiest girl in the entire school, and you know I  _ never  _ exaggerate,  _ ever,  _ I’m far above that.”

She looked at him with eyes that were a little wider than normal. She was shocked into silence when he went on. “You never need anyone’s help with anything; you’re always the one that’s helping other people because you’re so well-put together. And you’re never even bitter about that, either! Because all you wanna do is help people. You wanna be in the FBI one day, and that’s  _ so  _ hard to get into, but you know what? You’re absolutely one hundred percent  _ going to be in the FBI.  _ And you’re gonna-- solve murders, and save the president, and rescue…  _ cats from trees,  _ and you know what I don’t even think I really know what the FBI does in the first place, but whatever they do, you’re gonna  _ do it.  _ And you’re gonna be the best at it.” He shook his head, looking down and taking another bite as he mumbled around it: “You’re gonna climb the  _ highest  _ tree… and get the  _ fattest  _ cat down. In the  _ shortest  _ amount of time.”

It was quiet for a moment, while Kay tried to take everything in. Her hands were clasped tightly in her lap. Eventually, she got something out. But it wasn’t anything even  _ she  _ was expecting. “You… think I’m pretty?” she murmured. 

Cameron seemed surprised. He looked back up, and blinked a couple times. He hesitated, like he wasn’t sure. But it wasn’t that. Because when he  _ did  _ reply, there wasn’t a single trace of question in his voice. “Of course I do,” he said, both of them holding the other’s gaze steadily. “But I mean… anyone with eyes could see that.” She cracked a small smile, that grew bit by bit every second. Her face felt hot again. She was blushing too much, tonight. Cameron cracked a similar, shy kind of smile. For a second they just stared at each other in silence. Before he took in a quick breath and looked down again. “But we’ve concluded that the male student body is completely stupid,  _ save me, of course,  _ so they need a brain too. But eyes really help out a lot.”

He didn’t say anything more. Kay wasn’t going to push either. She’d let the conversation drop. But her eyes stayed soft, and her chest stayed warm. And throughout the entire rest of the dinner, she couldn’t get that stupid awkward smile off her face. Though this time, she wasn’t sure she really wanted it to leave.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

Once they were done with dinner, and Kay had finally let Cameron pay after five minutes of arguing (it really  _ had  _ only been seven dollars, so…), they went walking again. She wasn’t sure where to, but she didn’t care all that much. She was too busy telling Cameron about the time when she was little where she almost drowned in the neighborhood pool, and  _ that  _ was why she didn't particularly enjoy swimming. He was a very attentive audience, when he wasn’t talking her ear off. She just followed him and kept talking. She only really hesitated when they suddenly veered off the sidewalk and headed towards a line of trees. 

Cameron glanced back at her when she hesitated. He grinned, reaching out and beckoning her. “C’mon!” he chirped. “I promise I won’t kill you and leave your body in the woods,” he added temptingly. “Don’t you remember? I got caught  _ last  _ time I did it, that’s why I’m here in the first place.” She raised her eyebrows. He rolled his eyes. “C’mon, Kay, it’s gonna be cool.” She seemed skeptical. But she just started walking after him. He went back to leading the way.

It was cold, so at least there was no risk of getting poison ivy or anything; everything was dead. The trees were bare, and it was darker, here. She wasn’t sure where he was headed. She wasn’t scared of woods, but she didn’t particularly like walking around in them at night. Call her a horror movie junkie, but this was usually how they started. But the second she started to ask him what was happening or where he was going, the trees started to thin out into a clearing, and she realized. Her eyes widened and she stopped short. Cameron kept walking a little more, but she just stood and stared for a second.

It was a pond. A really  _ big  _ pond, and one that was frozen solid. It was pretty, surrounded by trees that had icicles hanging off the branches and catching what little moonlight managed to break through the trees. She was sure that it would be even prettier in the summer, but right now it was pretty enough. Cameron walked right down to the bank of it, and sat down. He looked back at her and grinned. “Told you it’d be cool,” he grinned.

She started walking again, down to slowly take a seat beside him. “I had no idea this was here,” she remarked, looking around at every inch of it. 

“I found it the other day,” Cameron explained. His smile was soft. “It’s nice. A nice place...to just think. And watch.”

Kay softened. She nodded. “What were you doing all the way out here?” she asked. They were fairly far from both of their homes.

He was quiet for a second. Before he just flashed her a grin and said: “Exploring.  _ Duh.” _

She giggled. “Well, you’re quite the adventurer.”

“Dora’s got nothin’ on me,” he chirped.

She grinned. Sobered a little, when she looked back. The pair was quiet for a while. She reached over and picked up a rock, turning and throwing it so it landed on the ice. It made an echoing kind of tinkling noise. It hopped about five times before it skidded the rest of the way. It almost made it across the entire thing. She laughed a little. She didn’t realize Cameron had been studying her, but she did when he suddenly started to mumble: “Kay…” He sounded nervous. She frowned when she looked back at him. It wasn’t like him to be nervous. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” she said immediately. “Yeah, sure you can, what is it?”

He still hesitated. He leaned back more on his hands, to prop himself up. He looked at his lap, because it was probably easier that way. “That uh… that guy. At that one football game?” She deflated a little. He winced. “I mean… if it’s too much, I get it, I don’t want you to… have to say anything you don’t want to. I just...I’ve just been wondering. I heard Jordan… say something about him, I wasn’t… I mean, you said you’d dated but…”

She looked back at the frozen water, her expression suddenly heavy.

Cameron was immediately remorseful. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry, that… that was probably--”

“No,” she murmured. “No, you’re… you’re okay. It’s…” She made a face, and shrugged one shoulder. “It’s just sad,” she all but whispered. Cameron wilted. She was quiet for a long time. Before she gathered her knees up to her chest and sighed. “I dunno,” she exhaled. “We dated for… a while. We met at a football game. He was just on the bench, back then. It was during half-time, and… he was in line for the concession stand, behind me. He said hi, and… and I said hi, and…”

Cameron was looking at her carefully. He was quiet when he hedged: “A while...is…”

“It was my first football game,” she mumbled. He stiffened, surprise smacking him across the face. “We dated for almost a year. We were so close… you know, so many people make it seem like that milestone is the most important thing. That… if you reach a year of dating, you’re the perfect couple.” She laughed, a little cynically. “Guess they’re right, ‘cause we broke up.” 

Cameron looked at her a little closer. “He seemed to really like you still,” he objected.

She shook her head. “Cameron,  _ I  _ broke up with  _ him.”  _

His face fell. “Oh,” he breathed. He paused for a long moment. Before he asked slowly: “Why… did you two break up?” She grimaced. She said nothing. It was after ten full seconds of silence and avoiding eye contact that she realized he just wasn’t going to get anything back. He shook his head. “I’m sorry, don’t- don’t answer that question,” he rushed. “That was… mean, I shouldn’t have asked. You don’t have to tell me.” She nodded. Still said nothing. He tried to comfort her. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. If he really likes you, still, I mean. You don’t owe him anything, if you’re happier this way.” He drooped, and, after another beat of silence, prompted: “ _ Are _ you… happier this way?”

She considered the question. “Yeah,” she sighed. She looked at him. Something flashed, in the back of her eyes, when she said: “ _ This _ way. I’m happier this way.” 

He smiled.

She did, too.

“What about you?” she prompted. He perked. “You’ve dated someone before, right? What’s your past look like?”

He made a show of wincing. He hissed, like she’d punched him in the stomach. “Nope,” he chirped. She couldn’t keep herself in check; her eyes flew huge. Probably wider than she’d ever gotten them before. “I’ve never dated anyone before.”

_ “Never!?”  _ she demanded, absolutely floored. He nodded. She shook her head. “You  _ cannot  _ have  _ never  _ dated anyone before. I do  _ not  _ believe you. At  _ all,  _ you cannot have gone sixteen years without having a girlfriend. No.” 

Cameron was laughing. “You really think I’m a catch, don’t you, Kansas?”

“I know  _ other girls  _ do,” she objected. “You’ve got the entire school drooling, there’s no way you didn’t have your  _ other  _ school drooling.”

“I don’t know!” he laughed. His smile dropped a little as he shook his head. “I’ve never been able to,” he sighed. He seemed a little sad, when he declared this. “It just… wouldn’t have worked.”

Her eyebrows knitted more together. “Because… you moved so often?” she asked.

He glanced at her. Didn’t say anything for about two full seconds before he replied: “Yeah. Too much of a hassle.” He looked back front. He changed the topic of conversation back to her. “Isaac doesn’t know what he’s missing. He’s an idiot. For whatever he did to lose you.” 

Her face fell. She looked at him like she was trying to figure out a difficult equation. “Why do you do that?” she asked. He seemed confused. “You… always say things like that. I mean-- it’s nice, you’re really nice, it’s just… not true.” He frowned. “I’m not… anything special, I’m… I just  _ study,  _ I just… stay  _ home.  _ This is literally the first time I’ve hung out with someone just  _ because.  _ Without school being involved in any way at all, since I… I dated Isaac. I don’t get noticed, I don’t get invites to dances or stupid flowers on Valentine’s Day. And it’s not because everyone else is stupid.” Cameron was staring at her sadly. His sadness only multiplied when she turned and looked back down at the frozen water. She threw another rock, harder this time. Her tone was bitter when she grumbled: “It’s because  _ I’m  _ stupid.”

“Don’t say that,” he said immediately. Almost before she was through.

She just scowled sorrowfully, not looking at him.

He leaned a little closer. “You’re  _ amazing,  _ Kay. You’re  _ great.”  _ She looked at him, clearly not believing the sentiments. His eyes were soft. “You’re  _ totally  _ flower-worthy,” he swore. “I got you flowers tonight.” She began to smile just a little. But it was impossible to fight the beam that splayed over her face when he declared: “And I would  _ gladly  _ get you flowers every single Valentine’s Day. Because you  _ deserve  _ all of the bouquets of flowers you keep that just die the very next day and you throw away.” She giggled. He smiled even more. But he grew much more serious, and added much softer: “You’re enough, Kay Daniels. For anyone. If they don’t see that, it’s not on you. Nothing’s  _ ever  _ on you.” 

She stared at him in silence for a moment. Her smile was so large it was almost hurting her cheeks. She was fairly certain her eyes were starting to sting. She tried to compensate by not blinking. She shook her head, her expression overtly fond, by now. She didn’t make the conscious decision to, but when she spoke, her voice was just a whisper. She couldn’t get it any louder. “I don’t believe you’ve never had a girlfriend…”

He laughed a little, again. When he replied, his voice was just as quiet. “Maybe I’ve just never liked anyone enough,” he mused, like it didn’t matter. She laughed a little, too. This time, neither of them looked away. Neither of their expressions could shake the down-like softness they’d adopted. Cameron tilted his head to the side, like he was trying to look at her closer. She grinned and responded by tilting her head to the  _ other  _ side. They both smiled wider, laughed a couple seconds more. Before their smiles started to fade, little by little bit. Their expression grew more solemn. Suddenly Kay was very much aware of how silent the forest was. How everything felt frozen, just like the pond was. 

It was so silent that Kay could suddenly hear her own heartbeat. It was  _ loud.  _ So loud she was absolutely positive that Cameron could hear it, too. But if he did, he wasn’t showing it at all. He was still studying her, like he was trying to memorize every detail of her face; just like she was, to him. Slowly, so slowly that it was hard to tell at first he was moving at all, Cameron started to inch closer to her. It only dawned on Kay when he was halfway to her. The second she realized what was happening, her stomach was twisting, her heart was thudding even more. But she started leaning closer as well. His arm started to reach up. She felt his fingers graze her cheek, and she felt him start to tuck her hair behind her ear. Very slowly, very gently.

She let out a sigh; the breath shook nervously on its way out. Cameron was so close she could feel his warmth, against the snow that was still coming down just as hard. He didn’t stop closing the gap between them. Her eyes slowly shut. She felt Cameron delve his fingers back into her hair even further, slowly tilting her head towards his even more. Maybe it was nervousness that was making them so careful, so slow. But they were barely inches apart, by now. She waited, struggling to keep her breathing in check so it wouldn’t spike even more than it already had. They were even closer. He only needed to lean in just a little more...just another inch, and then finally,  _ finally,  _ he’d--

Cameron’s phone rang.

The ringtone shattered through the silence and caused them to yank apart immediately. Kay’s eyes snapped open the second she jerked back. Cameron jumped, his eyes flying open again too as his arm snapped back to his chest. For a second they just stared at each other in shock and confusion. Cameron’s look rushed quickly into guilt. Kay’s face was burning so much she was certain that even in the dark he’d notice. She whirled back front, to stare fixedly at the pond. Her heart was hammering hard against her chest. She crossed her arms and hugged herself, grimacing in faint embarrassment. Cameron looked like he wanted to say something, but his phone was going to ring out if he didn’t answer. 

He sighed when he did, but turned anyway, to fish it out of his coat. He looked down at the ID and his eyes flashed. He glanced at Kay before he answered. “Johnny?” he asked. Kay glanced at him. Cameron’s eyes flickered to her, but then he looked quickly away. He sighed, reaching up and rubbing his forehead. His volume dropped...like he was trying not to be heard as much. “Why?” She frowned at how deflated his voice suddenly was. He ducked down and rubbed his forehead. The pause was longer this time. Kay was guilty of trying to listen to what Jonathan was saying on the other line. But he couldn’t. Cameron groaned under his breath. “What am  _ I  _ supposed to do about it?” he whined in a whisper. 

He chewed on his bottom lip as he listened to his brother. This time he reached up and drew his fingers through his hair, messing it up. “Well, where are you? What are you doing?” He grimaced. “Just… just…  _ stay there,  _ I’m coming home.” Immediately, he was shaking his head. “No, I’ll come  _ home,  _ I’m not just gonna-- no, I’m coming home, I’ll be home in ten minutes just don’t move, bye.” He rushed to hang up, before Jonathan could say anything else. When he did, he didn’t look at Kay for a while. He stared straight ahead and exhaled. Closed his eyes and waited a couple seconds. Before he looked over at Kay and smiled. “I gotta go home,” he chirped. She frowned at the 180 in his voice. Or… the almost 180. Something just sounded... off.

She frowned. Glanced at his phone. “What did Jonathan want?”

He inhaled fast. Started to stand. “He’s got a big science test on Monday.” Her frown worsened. “I forgot I told him I’d help him study; he’s really worried about it. I gotta go home and quiz him.”

“I’m  _ in  _ his science class.” Cameron froze. Kay’s forehead creased. “We don’t have a test on Monday.”

He looked down at her. She hadn’t gotten up yet. For a second, it was silent; a much different kind of silence than what there had been before. “Must have been another subject,” Cameron offered, a little stiffer. Kay just stared at him. Her heart was beginning to sink. “Anyway. It doesn’t matter, I just have to go. You ready?” She hesitated. Cameron seemed on-edge, staring down at her. She wanted to ask him more questions. But suddenly she was getting the vibe that that suddenly Cameron wanted to say as little to her as he possibly could.

“Uh…” She looked down at herself. Mumbled a quiet: “Okay.” She started to get up, too. She was cold, from the snow. She missed it when they were closer… Cameron felt warmer. She started to open her mouth to say something else. But when she turned around, she realized Cameron was already starting away, his steps brisk. He wasn’t even glancing back at her. 

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

With the pace Cameron set, they got home fast. Much faster than they’d taken to get there in the first place. And there was  _ much  _ less talking. In fact, they probably said less than five things to each other the entire way home. She’d tried a couple times to start conversation. But suddenly Cameron was quiet. She looked at him frequently, and for the life of her she couldn’t figure out the look that was on his face. It was guarded, she could tell. But she couldn’t tell  _ what  _ he was guarding. He looked upset, that was all she knew. He looked strained, suddenly. And like he wanted to run away. Like they couldn’t get home soon enough.

Like he couldn’t get  _ rid  _ of her soon enough.

Her stomach was twisting the entire way. A couple times her eyes began to sting all over again, this time for a much different reason. She was going through everything she had done and said, wondering which part of it had been wrong. The night had been perfect… it had been more fun than she’d had in ages. And all of a sudden now he was lying to her to get away from her. Or… maybe he wasn’t lying, maybe he just really had been confused, but right now she couldn’t tell, and she in her head. Had Jonathan told him something? Was something wrong? But if something was wrong, he would just tell her, right?

They got back to her house, and Cameron walked her up to the front door. Her parents still weren’t back. They hesitated together, on the stoop. Kay looked back at Cameron, and at least now, he was smiling. There was something off about his smile. It wasn’t his normal smile. So her smile was a little strained, when she grinned back at him. “Thank you,” she offered. “For tonight. For… taking me out. It was fun. I had a lot of fun.”

He softened just a little. “I had fun, too.” It sounded genuine. But… sad. Somehow.

She hesitated. Her hands clasped nervously in front of her. “Is… everything okay?” she asked. “With Jonathan?”

“He’s fine, I just gotta get home,” he returned. 

She wilted, and nodded. Cleared her throat, and closed one eye in a wince. “I… just… I’m sorry if… something… if I did anything--”

“You didn’t, you--” Cameron ducked his head and shook it slowly. He closed his eyes, like he was flinching. She stared at him anxiously. He looked back up, and his face was carefully wiped clear. He smiled, but there was no sincerity. So it wasn’t  _ his.  _ “I’ll see you Monday. Kay,” he offered.  Her face fell. He didn’t address it in any way. All he did was stand there and hold her gaze for a moment more and give a tiny nod. Before he turned and started down the steps. She watched him go, disappointment and confusion battling on her face. She stood and watched him get into his car. Tried to see whether or not he was going to stop long enough to glance back at her. At least one more time.

He didn’t. She stood in the cold and watched him pull away. Stood in the cold snow, and watched his car until it was gone. And stood there for a moment more, as if by lingering by herself she’d get an answer. She didn’t. She just got silence. So she turned and unlocked the door, letting herself back in. The house was just as silent and lonely. She locked it again behind her. Stood by the door for a second, just staring at the ground. She turned and looked around aimlessly. 

Her eyes landed on the kitchen counter, and her heart squeezed in on itself painfully when her eyes landed on the flowers Cameron had gotten for her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter didn't take three months to do, I think someone needs to give me some props?  
> This is a chapter we've been excited to write for a while, so we hope you like it! And we really hope that if you do like it, we can hear from you in a review! <3

_ Nobody  _ liked Mondays. Nobody sane, did, anyway. You just spent your entire weekend waking up when you wanted, doing what you wanted, actually having the time to breathe, not having to put up with stupid peers or teachers, and now suddenly you’re opening your eyes again at 5:30 in the morning to the same old alarm you’ve had for ages, already cursing everything there is to curse because now you have to get up and you already know it’s going to be an awful day. Because it’s a  _ Monday.  _ Or at least, that’s what Kay thought. Call her cynical. Every single Monday, in fact, she woke up already hating the day. Every. Single. Monday. 

Except...not  _ this  _ Monday.

She was actually excited to get up, today. Or...not  _ excited,  _ but...but she wasn’t  _ hating the fact  _ she had to get to school. She got up easier, not even pressing snooze on her alarm. She got up and got dressed and had breakfast all a little faster than normal. On the way out she hesitated...flopped a little back and forth...until she eventually came to the conclusion that maybe...wearing her glasses to school wouldn’t be an entirely horrible idea. Just this once. Because her new contacts hadn’t come in yet, and...well there was just no harm in wearing them. 

She got her keys and slipped outside, locking the door behind her. She got in the car and turned up her music a little bit louder than normal as she pulled out of the driveway, and for once, she wasn’t still trying to wake herself up as she drove to school. She was already awake-- she was already  _ wide  _ awake. There was more bounce to her step when she parked and walked up to the school. She hurried to her locker to get her things. All the while, subconsciously looking through the halls, trying to see if she could see Cameron. Usually, he was hanging out with people before classes started. Sometimes he was by her locker...a  _ lot  _ of the times, he was at least  _ around  _ her locker. She knew Jonathan started out the day in the library, unlike him. Maybe he was  _ there _ because she wasn’t seeing him anywhere else.

Nevertheless. She walked to her first hour briskly. And the second she was walking over the threshold, she was biting back a tiny smile when her eyes landed on Cameron. He was already sitting down for class, in the desk beside hers. It wasn’t ever where he  _ typically  _ was, but it didn’t matter. He was sitting there now, and she found herself smiling as she went over to take her own seat. The last time she’d seen him, was Friday. 

She’d thought about texting him...but she got too in her head, and overthought it in her head, eventually just giving up on the idea because she was too awkward to know what to say. He’d never texted her either, so they just hadn’t talked. She was still a little nervous after the way it had ended...every step she took closer to him, her stomach was gnawed a little more with apprehension. But she remembered all the other stuff, too. All the other stuff that vastly outnumbered and therefore outweighed the one odd ending to the night. How he had called her cute, had told her she was smart...how he’d given her the best, most fun night she’d had in quite some time. She reminded herself of those, too. Saying they were important, too.

Just like she had been telling herself that all weekend.

She rounded her desk and sat down. Cameron was on his phone. She didn’t know what he was doing on it, but he seemed very focused on the screen; he didn’t even look up at her. He was propping his head upon his hand, covering his mouth in the process. He was hunched over his desk a little bit. He looked tired. Like he hadn’t been looking forward to this Monday at  _ all,  _ unlike her. He looked more like her typical reaction to the start of school weeks: already finished. She thought it was a little odd...he seemed to look a  _ lot  _ more tired than he should be. Unless he was out partying every single night after he’d left her. There were unnatural shadows under his eyes.

She waited a couple of seconds, which seemed much longer than just that. He didn’t glance at her. So she cleared her throat a little awkwardly. He straightened a little, but still seemed intent on whatever he had pulled up. She took the last step, her apprehension beginning to grow. “Hey...Cameron,” she smiled. His eyes flickered over to her. There wasn’t the usual funny, eager look in his eyes. There wasn’t..anything, really, when he looked at. Truthfully, if someone leaned over and told her it was actually  _ Jonathan  _ sitting beside her right now, she’d believe them more than she was believing herself at the moment. Because he seemed as blank as a slate. “Happy Monday,” she tried, pulling out the most ‘Cameron’ thing she could think of to say. Silently hoping he would follow her lead. 

He stared at her for a second, before he just nodded. He looked back at his phone.

She frowned. Already, she was deflating in her seat. Her forehead creased as she looked at him a little closer. Her nerves were already fraying...she was  _ already  _ concerned she was pestering. She had a habit of giving up the second she got the vibe someone was getting impatient with her. Which she thought a lot. But...this was  _ Cameron.  _ He was  _ different.  _ Right? Right. He  _ was,  _ and this wasn’t like him, so it did enough to give her the courage to lean a little closer and ask: “Are you okay?” 

Cameron’s eyes flickered to her again. They flashed with some kind of emotion, this time. She just...wasn’t too sure what that emotion  _ was.  _ She tried to smile again. Tried not to seem too concerned. She didn’t really have a  _ right  _ to be concerned...did she? Were they that good of friends, yet? Of course, they were! Or maybe they weren’t? Here she was, overthinking it all again… “Sorry, you just...you seem…” She was struggling not to allow herself to get flustered. That was a bad habit of hers, too. But she was having a hard time finding the words. “I don’t know,” she ended up landing on, feeling stupid when Cameron just kept staring at her with that blank look. “You seem...off.”

Cameron kept staring for a couple of heartbeats. Before he shifted his hand enough to get it off his mouth. Still holding up his head, like if he didn’t, there was a risk of him just collapsing down to the desk and falling asleep. “‘Off?’” he repeated. Kay frowned, leaning back a bit again. His voice sounded...flat. Not like his own. Dull, and...almost...annoyed? Cameron  _ never  _ got annoyed.  _ Cameron  _ was annoying. That was how it worked. He looked down at himself like he was trying to find the source of an issue. It looked for a second like he was going to turn back to her, afterward. But maybe not. Because he ended up just looking back at his phone. “I’m fine.”

Her hands started to wring, where they sat in her lap. She was biting down on her lower lip, by now. Nobody else that was there already just waiting for class to start was paying attention to them. She was glad. Already, she felt embarrassed enough, just staring at him. If they had an audience, it would be ten times as bad. She was tempted to just let it drop. A majority of her would have let it drop about a semester ago, but...now she was more hesitant. Now, despite the trace discomfort, she pressed a little bit anyway. “You don’t seem like it…” Cameron’s eyes flashed. He tucked more into his phone. This hesitation was a lot longer. When she broke the silence, her voice was a tiny murmur. “Cameron, if I...if I did something…”

“Kay.” She snapped her mouth shut, her stomach doing a flip when she heard how flat his voice was. He didn’t look at her; she was glad. She was fairly positive that she was doing a horrible job of keeping her expression in check. She could already feel the hurt on her face. And it only grew when Cameron shifted in his chair and scooted just a fraction away from her. Like he couldn’t stand to be close. “Just stop.” His words were soft and muffled into his hand, which he was using to prop his head up. Her eyes widened a little bit. He added, still in a mumble: “Just leave me alone.”

She stared at him, confused and shocked and angry and hurt. She wasn’t sure which one of those she was, more. Cameron let it die, there. He didn’t even glance back her way. She pressed her lips together tightly, her shoulders hunching as though she was in pain as she turned back front. She looked down at her desk, not sure what to do. She glanced at Cameron a few more times, but there was nothing to see. Suddenly...he wanted nothing to do with her.

She’d hoped that ending to their night wouldn’t carry over. It had been sudden and random...she’d hoped it was a fluke. But he was still acting oddly. He was still averse to even being near her, it seemed. Her chest hurt. It  _ hurt.  _ To remember the way he’d smiled at her and said all those sweet things to her, and then just... _ changed  _ his mind. And  _ still... _ he was  _ still… _

It was something she’d done. All those things she’d said, it had been too much. 

She felt horrified. Embarrassed, upset, terrible, sad. It was all rushing through her all at once.

She stiffened when she realized that her eyes were beginning to prickle, and her vision was blurring just the tiniest bit. She immediately closed her eyes and shook herself, inhaling sharply and clearing her throat. She shoved it all down. She told herself to grow up. She turned to her backpack and fished out her notebook, flipping it open to a random topic for the class. She didn’t care what it was; she would just study. If Cameron didn’t want to talk to her, it was okay. She would just study.

She would just go back to passing the morning like she always did. 

She’d just study.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

She hoped that it’d stop.  _ Whatever  _ it was, she didn’t even know in the first place. It had come along so randomly...she was just hoping that it would leave just as much so. But the next morning was exactly the same. Cameron hardly looked at her during English. He didn’t even say hi to her. This time, she didn’t try and worm anything out of him. She looked at him and hoped there would be something changed. She hoped that there would have been something else. Maybe she’d looked for too long. But no. She’d been disappointed. There was nothing.

She’d focused back on the class. She’d walked into her next hour with a dark cloud hanging over her. And she walked into band with an even darker one. She knew it was stupid, to feel lonely. After all, before this semester, all she’d  _ been  _ was lonely, and she’d liked it. Or...she’d thought she’d liked it. Now she wasn’t so sure. Because it felt pretty empty to walk in and not see Cameron smile hugely at her and wave. To see him not even glance at her because he was too busy talking to everyone else in his section. She sat down in front of him and he didn’t even flicker with recognition. It was like she was a ghost, suddenly.

Her chest was heavy, when she just sat numbly in class, watching the clock and begging it to move faster. At one point, the clarinets were signaled out to practice a section in particular; the rest of the class was told to wait it out a little bit, and they’d all come back together once the problem spot was corrected. She’d sagged a little bit in her chair, exhaling heavily. She’d started to try and distract herself by thinking about what she would make for dinner tonight. When all of a sudden, she realized she felt suddenly self-conscious.

Before she even realized it, she turned around. She looked back over her shoulder, and her heart dropped a little bit when she realized Cameron was staring at her. She was caught off-guard, by it. But she was mostly caught off-guard by his expression. He was staring at her...and he looked sad. Sad, and extremely, unbearably disappointed. It was so palpable and unexpected that for a second, all she could do was just stare at him.

She was only silent for a couple of seconds, though. Before she found her voice. It was soft, and she wilted a little when she whispered back to him. But it was there. She hadn’t tried to talk to him since yesterday morning, though she’d glanced at him since then plenty of times. But she was trying again, and despite everything, despite the wondering, she’d spent asking herself what she’d done wrong, all that came out was: “Are you okay?”

His eyes flashed, at the question. He sat up a little straighter. He blinked fast, a couple of times like he was stunned-- like he hadn’t realized he was looking at her in the first place. Kay’s face fell, worry and concern heavy there. He only looked at her for a couple of moments more. Before he did exactly what she was fearing he would, and just looked away. His eyes went back front, to the director. She searched his face still, begging him to look back at her. If he heard her silent pleas, though, he ignored them. He stayed looking front. 

Kay lingered for just a couple seconds more. Just long enough to know for sure that he wasn’t going to say anything, or give in. Just long enough for her to feel that disappointment sink into her fully, and weigh in her stomach like a rock.

Just long enough for her to see that his eyes were a little shinier than normal.

And then she turned back front, too. The concern staying on her face. And the rock staying in her stomach.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

She waited for the bell, on pins and needles. She hadn’t listened at all to the lecture in her science class. She just watched the clock and waited. Waited for that minute hand to tick it’s way over to the three, and the second it did, and the second the bell rang to dismiss them, she was up on her feet. She hadn’t even taken the time to get out her notebook in the first place, so there was no need for her to stop and pack up like everyone else was currently doing. She rushed out of her desk and shrugged on her backpack, veering not over to the door like she usually did, but over towards the back of the room instead. To the back of the room and the farthest corner, where Jonathan was sitting.

He always sat in the back. Take Cameron and flip him to be the perfect inverse of himself, and you had Jonathan. He took to the back, he didn’t say much. When nothing was happening, he seemed to get swamped with some kind of other thought, staring into the distance a little like he was trying to figure out some math equation, while Cameron usually distracted himself by doing something obnoxious. Cameron walked the halls and spent the entire time talking, either walking with someone or flagging someone down to talk their ear off. Jonathan walked through the hall with headphones in. Unless, of course, he was walking with Cameron. She was pretty sure that was the only time she ever saw him walking in the hall without listening to music. 

She walked straight over for him. He’d already put away his notebook. He was just beginning to fish out said headphones and untangle them. Right now, she was thankful for the fact they always seemed to tie themselves into knots for no discernable reason at all. Right now it was distracting him pretty well. He wasn’t even halfway through getting them straightened out when she reached his desk. “Jonathan.” He perked, looking up. There wasn’t any expression on his face at all when they locked eyes. She didn’t know whether or not that was surprising, to her. Whether or not it meant anything.

She was a little surprised that he stopped in the first place. She expected him to just keep packing up and ignore her. Not that he’d been rude to her before, he was actually a very good lab partner to have, she supposed he and Cameron had that in common. But by this point, she was so used to Cameron ignoring her that she automatically expected his brother to do the same thing. So when he stopped and looked at her, she stopped short, her mouth staying a little open as she blanched, staring at him and saying nothing. She realized she hadn’t actually come with a plan of what to say.

He raised his eyebrows a little. Impatient was starting to border the look he was giving her. 

She weakened, trying to grasp for something. Suddenly the embarrassment that had followed her like a cloud was getting about a million times heavier. After a couple of seconds of silence, Jonathan tore it. He turned and shrugged on his backpack, still trying to untangle his headphones as he started to walk out the door. She finally got herself to snap out of it, and before she really knew what she was doing, she was throwing her arm out to stop him. “Wait!” He did, but not without giving her a very irritable look. She tried to look past it. “Wait, I want to talk to you.”

“About what?” he demanded, glancing past her to the door. “Spit it out.”

She gripped one strap of her backpack tightly, hoping to squeeze her nerves away. She took in a fast breath, but she was determined to get it out this time. “I was...I’m worried about Cameron.” She could see the look on his face change, with this. Before, he was irritated. She could practically see him mentally screaming at him to leave him alone. But the instant his brother’s name was said, he was stopping and looking at her with concern. It was a subtle concern...barely-there worry. But she could tell that she struck a nerve with him. It made her all too sure about going on. “He’s been...he’s been acting differently, he’s been distant...he hasn’t been himself, I’m...I’m really worried about him.” 

Jonathan still kept staring at her. It looked like he had no idea what to say. 

She bit down briefly on her lower lip before she asked: “Did something...happen? He seems really upset, did something...go wrong?” 

Apparently, this was the wrong thing to ask. The second she asked, she knew it was. His guard was immediately springing back up again. His worry melted away, and his eyes were narrowing a little again. His voice was taut and curt. “Nothing happened, I have no idea why Cameron’s acting weird. I don’t keep tabs on him every single second of every single day. Despite popular belief.” He made a move like he was going to step around her.

She moved to block the effort. “I know,” she said, ignoring his sharper glare. “But...but something seems really wrong, have you not noticed? He’s...he hasn’t been talking, he doesn’t make...jokes like he used to, he doesn’t even--”

“I haven’t noticed anything,” he rebutted. “Cameron’s been acting just fine around me. In case it hasn’t crossed your mind,  _ maybe  _ Cameron’s just got an issue with  _ you.”  _ She jerked, surprised and offended by the sudden accusation. “And I don’t really feel like getting in the middle of whatever fight you two have going over...which  _ instrument  _ is better, or whether or not some book character is the villain.” This was all snapped out, carelessly and bordering on the edge of mean. Kay was almost stunned, with it all. He made a move to get around her again. This time he actually got a few steps.

But she got herself to move. She rushed back and planted herself in front of him. She was glaring at him, now. Her voice was more barbed, the longer he was pushing her. “You called him,” she snapped. He did a double-take. He opened his mouth like he wanted to snap something back, but nothing was coming out. “You called him, Friday night,” she went on. “I don’t...I’m not  _ saying  _ it’s got anything to do with you, but...it was a  _ fun  _ night, and you called him, and...and the second you did, he flipped a switch. We went right home, he was practically running away from me,” Jonathan weakened just a little, and she did not mistake the reaction, “and ever since then, he...he hasn’t been talking to me. Today in band, he looked  _ really  _ upset, he...he looked like he was--”

“Listen,” Jonathan said thinly, cutting her off. She stuck her tongue hard into her cheek, trying to fight the urge to glower at him. And the urge was even harder to ignore when he said: “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Really?” she demanded. “ _ Really?  _ You’re going to try that?” He said nothing. “I know you called him, Jonathan, I was right there, I heard him talking to you.  _ He  _ told me he had to rush home because you had a big  _ science  _ test you needed help studying for.” Jonathan shifted his weight a little from foot to foot when she snapped: “And I don’t know what science class  _ you  _ were in yesterday, but  _ I  _ was  _ here,  _ and we didn’t  _ have  _ one.”

He stared at her for a long moment. His eyes stayed narrowed, and his expression stayed guarded. She waited, her arms crossed over her chest now. Eventually, he shook his head. “I gotta go,” he sighed. Her face fell, and so did her arms. He ignored her. “I don’t know what’s going on between you and Cameron, but if he doesn’t want to to talk about something with you, I’d recommend you  _ backing off.”  _ This was said with surprising acidity. He brushed past her and this time he did so with enough force that he was practically shouldering her aside. 

“Just leave him alone, if he wants you to leave him alone,” he tossed over his shoulder, as he headed for the door. “And leave  _ me  _ alone about it, too.”

She stood there dumbly, her mouth hanging open like she wanted to call back out to him. But she couldn’t find the words. He was out the door before she could shake out of it. So she was left just standing there in the science lab, in silence. Feeling just as hurt and confused as she’d had when she’d first gone over to him.

Or maybe, somehow, she felt even worse.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

She was going to take her lunch to the library. It was quieter there, and she would get more work done, and...well, she just didn’t want to be in the cafeteria. She just needed some peace and quiet. A place to be by herself  _ specifically,  _ because if she was going to be by herself anyway, she wanted it to be on her own terms. Cameron hadn’t spoken to her in days. She still had no idea what was wrong, but she was starting to realize whatever it was, it was sticking stubbornly. Whatever she had done, whatever she had said, it had been enough. He barely even looked at her anymore. When he spoke, it was just off-handed mumbles, accompanied by a quick getaway. 

She was irritated.

Or...she was  _ trying  _ to be irritated.

If she was irritated, maybe she wouldn’t notice how sad the new silence made her.

She wasn’t even that hungry. She just got a salad. Something small she could sneak into the library, though the librarians always turned a blind eye to her thanks to the fact she was such a frequent flyer, and something she could save for later because she already knew she was just going to pick at it. Oddly enough, school food didn’t make her  _ more  _ inclined to eat. So she just got that and started for the library, stepping around people who were talking much too loud, just to be heard over the roar of everyone  _ else  _ trying to be heard.

Once she left the cafeteria, and started to leave behind the yelling and shouting and laughing, the silence was sudden. It was a drastic change, that only got more noticeable the further she walked. But she was finding comfort in it-- a sense of peace that she was sure she’d get more of at the library and told herself that it would be worth the trip. And that it would make her feel better. But halfway there, she stopped short, her face falling a little when the silence was interrupted. When she could hear someone talking. And someone talking  _ angrily. _

It was  _ because  _ they were so angry it was so easy for Kay to hear them. She took a couple more unsure steps, but hesitated and came to a stop, looking over her shoulder back to where it was echoing over to her from. It was coming from the bathrooms-- specifically, the boy’s bathroom. And she realized, standing there with a growing frown on her face, that she recognized the voice. Even from  _ here _ , she recognized it. She just...didn’t recognize what they were talking about. And the sheer acidity that was in their voice. “Leave me alone. I don’t want to talk about it.” It was Cameron. She  _ knew.  _ Even though she didn’t know why he sounded so different...she knew it was him. And before she could stop herself, she started walking back, closer to the door so she could listen better.

“Oh-- oh I get it, you don’t wanna  _ talk about it.”  _ She stiffened when she heard Jonathan’s voice. He sounded about ten times as upset as Cameron did; she hadn’t even thought it was possible. “You don’t get to  _ choose  _ whether or not you wanna  _ talk about it, Cameron.  _ Are you  _ kidding me!? Look  _ at me! You’re smarter than this! What in the world are you thinking!? How does this  _ help?” _

“Get out of my way,” she heard Cameron snap. Her heart tugged when she realized his voice sounded a little thicker, now. “Get out of my way, I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you.”

_ “Cameron.”  _ This apparently was snapping Jonathan out of whatever anger he had been stuck in. Kay wilted even more when his voice lost practically all of its air. When he sounded more tired and more strained. She wondered whether he was trying to take a page out of the same book she was...trying to lean on his anger more so that he wouldn’t notice how sad he was. Apparently, their luck with it was the same, too: it wasn’t working. “Cameron,  _ stop,  _ I’m  _ sorry--  _ I-- just--” His voice was getting more clogged, too. “Just talk to me, Cameron.  _ Please?  _ Tell me...tell me what I can do to help you. I want to help you.”

“It’s fine, there’s no helping anything,” he grumbled. “You know that just as well as I do.”

“Cam...don’t be like this. You’re not alone-- we’re in this  _ together. Aren’t  _ we? I’m still with you; don’t shut me out. And it’s...Cam, it’s not going to  _ be  _ for much longer, the  _ second  _ we--”

“I don’t want to do it at all, anymore!” This was snapped out, very suddenly. Like he hadn’t meant for it to get out in the first place. Dead silence met the burst. Kay’s eyes widened a little. She couldn’t move away from the door. Cameron kept on after a second, but his voice was much weaker, in more of a grumble. “I’m  _ sick  _ of it.”

“You don’t think I’m  _ not?”  _ Jonathan asked, being much gentler. “But, Cam, you just have to  _ breathe,  _ and tell yourself--” 

“Don’t tell me to  _ breathe,”  _ Cameron scoffed. “Just get out of the way.” 

“Cameron.” The edge was starting to come back. “I’m not gonna let you keep doing this. I’m just  _ not.  _ You’re not gonna have a choice, I’m  _ not  _ going to let this keep happening.”

“Get out. Of the way,” Cameron repeated slowly, much more acidicly. 

“Does this have something to do with Kay?” She froze at the mention of her name. Her stomach dropped, and her eyes went even wider. “Yesterday she came up to me, she was telling me all about how you were acting different, it got me worried but I had no idea--”

“I don’t want to  _ talk  _ about Kay,” Cameron practically spat. “I just want you to get out of my  _ way!” _

“I’m  _ sorry,  _ Cameron. About Friday night, I’m sorry I ruined it,” Jonathan burst out. “I shouldn’t have called you, I should have just dealt with it myself, I should have let you finish your night.”

“That’s not the  _ point!”  _ Cameron snapped. “Don’t apologize about calling me, I would have been mad if you  _ hadn’t  _ called me!”

“Well, then what’s wrong!?” Jonathan hissed. “What do you want from me!?” 

“Nothing! I don’t want anything from  _ you!  _ I’m not mad that you called me! I’m mad that-- I’m mad that you  _ had  _ to call me!” Kay’s face fell. Confusion started to mingle with the sorrow in her expression. “I’m mad that you had to call me and there’s no fixing it and everything’s useless and everything is awful and I’m mad that there’s nothing else to do other than this so just get out of my way leave me alone and  _ stop  _ bugging me!” The more he spoke, the faster he spoke, and the louder, as well. Everything snowballing in sorrow and regret and anger. 

She didn’t have time to react, or even realize what was happening. But Cameron must have shoved Jonathan aside because all of a sudden the door was bursting open. Kay jumped backward and made a half-baked plan in the back of her mind to skitter away, but there was no point. The damage was already done. The second Cameron flung open the door, he was locking eyes with her. Her heart twisted even more when she saw that his eyes were filled with tears. Much more noticeable than when they’d been in band class. They looked only a blink away from streaming down his face.

He already looked upset and distraught, but the second he was looking at her, everything got multiplied by ten. At first, his face just fell. His eyes widened a little, to match her own. The two of them stared at each other in silence, each as equally confused and upset as the other, of course, for different reasons. Jonathan had started to rush up behind Cameron, but he froze in his tracks when Cameron did. He looked upset too, but when his eyes landed on Kay, he became much more guarded, almost like a reflex. His eyes narrowed, his jaw locked back. His stare turned much more defensive.

But Kay wasn’t focusing on him; she was just looking at Cameron. Her chest actually hurt, when she did. When she saw how different he looked, upset like this. And at first, that was all he looked: upset. Severely, and horribly so. But once he got over the shock, then was when it got ten times as angry. He glared at her, and the anger on his face was enough to take her breath away just because she was so unprepared for it. 

Her shoulders drooped. Her heart was sliced with pain again. But she found that without thinking about it, she was already taking a step closer to him, trying to say something. She wasn’t sure what she was trying to say. She would take anything. She didn’t have much of a chance to figure it out, though. All she could get out was a stutter of: “Cameron…” before he was snapping out of whatever was keeping him in place. 

The instant his name was leaving her, he was turning abruptly. Without glancing back at her, or his brother, he turned and started to rush down the hall. Kay turned and watched, disappointment punching her directly in the stomach. He wasn’t even going towards the lunchroom; she had no idea where he was trying to go. She guessed that meant he was just trying to go anywhere  _ she  _ wasn’t. She wilted, standing there for a while and just watching him leave. Then she was turning back to Jonathan, confused and hurt and already asking a million questions.

But he took after his brother. He held her stare for a couple of seconds, but it was only that brief amount of time. Then he was shaking his head hard like he was answering some kind of question for himself, and he turned, rounding the corner and rushing after Cameron without another word. He didn’t even glance back at her. She heard him call out his brother’s name, but she didn’t get to see whether or not he caught up to him. They disappeared down another hall before he got close enough.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

It was a quiet night. Kay was not unfamiliar to them. Usually, they didn’t bother her. 

But this one was. 

She was laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. She didn’t have anything else to do and believe her, she’d tried to exhaust every possible distraction. She’d even already finished an essay that wasn’t due for another month. There was just nothing to do but lay here and stare. She felt hollow and sad. Her head fell to the side and she looked at her phone that was on her bedside table. She’d put it in to charge, but there wasn’t much of a point, because nobody was texting her. Cameron certainly wasn’t...he still wasn’t even talking to her. All week, at school, he had iced her out like they were strangers. She was still replying the scene from a couple of days ago in her mind. Wondering what they had been yelling about. Why Cameron had been crying. Why he felt like he couldn’t talk to her.

_ Because you’d talked to him  _ too  _ much,  _ she thought bitterly.  _ You opened up your stupid mouth and told him way too much information way too fast. You scared him off, finally. I don’t know why you’re so surprised. _

She wilted, her heart tearing a little.

Her eyes stayed fixed on the phone. Something told her to drop it before she lost anything else.

But Cameron must have rubbed off on her. Because she wasn’t paying attention.

Before she even really knew it, she was reaching out. She grabbed her phone and sat up a little bit, unlocking it and going to her messages. Most were from her parents, but she still had Cameron’s messages saved. At first, it had just been questions about their project. Times to meet, or late-night ideas. Of course, Cameron had been the one to change the dynamic and begin texting her about other stuff (the first non-academic text he’d sent had been: ‘Hey, just asking for a quick opinion here, but do you think it’s appropriate to call the police about a Monopoly game? Because Jonathan’s been cheating this entire time so I need him arrested immediately.’) She’d started texting him out of the blue, too...when their project had been turned in and graded, Cameron had sent her about a million emojis to celebrate, including but not limited to the 100, the smiley face with the sunglasses, and the smiley face with the cowboy hat, which he’d followed up with a hearty ‘Yeehaw.’ 

He hadn’t texted her, recently, either. Opening up their chat, she weakened even more when she saw the last exchange they’d had.

‘Do you think there’s such a thing as fate?’ Cameron had asked, out of nowhere.

‘It’s one in the morning,’ she’d replied. Looking at it now, she felt an unexpected tug of frustration she had responded so curtly.

‘One in the morning is the best time to ask such questions, Kansas.’ 

‘I don’t know. I don’t think so.’

‘Well that’s simply no fun,’ he’d replied. 

‘How would you explain all the horrible things that happen?’ she’d returned. 

‘Some could argue people deserve what happens to them.’

‘I meant for the people that don’t.’ 

‘Maybe it’s credit,’ he’d suggested. ‘Maybe you have to suffer through something in order to get something good one day. Something really good. Something that’ll make it worth it.’

She hadn’t replied for some time. When she finally had, it was just: ‘You really believe that?’

‘I have to,’ he’d responded.

She hadn’t said anything back, then.

Now, her eyes were stuck on those three words.

There were other texts, after that, but they were all hers. Multiple texts, that started out as just ‘Hey’ to ‘Are you mad about something?’ Spanning days, each one was ignored. Cameron had read them-- she could tell that much. But he had made the specific effort not to respond. The last one she had sent had been on Tuesday. After that, she’d pretty much gotten the message, as bitter a pill as it was to swallow. He didn’t want to talk. She didn’t know why, and she wasn’t really sure what she had done. But it had been something. And she wasn’t going to keep trying to force for a friendship that he obviously didn’t want anymore. 

But now, she caved again. 

‘Hey.’ 

She sent it and waited. He was usually always quick to answer. But she got nothing.

She was expecting that.

She typed without thinking. She knew she would regret it later. But that wasn’t right now. ‘I just wanted to tell you that if something is wrong, you can tell me. You don’t have to feel alone if you need someone to talk to I’m right here.’ Again, she waited, and again, after a couple of minutes, she got nothing. ‘I’m just worried about you. You haven’t been yourself, lately.’ Pause. Nothing. Type again. ‘And if it’s something I did, I’m really sorry. You’re a good friend, I really appreciate you, I would never want to make you angry or upset.’ 

She stared at the phone in desolate disappointment when she still got nothing. 

Eventually, stupidly, she landed on: ‘I hope you have a good weekend, Cameron.’

She sent this, and immediately stiffened when there was a reaction. She sat up even more and her eyes went a little wide when she saw the three little typing bubbles pop up on Cameron’s end. It was pathetic, how excited and happy those three little dots made her. Just the smallest indication he wasn’t ignoring her, and she was so alert. She held the phone a little tighter and she watched nervously as the bubbles continued to signal to type. 

Then they went away. Kay’s shoulders went slack when he stopped. 

They came back up again, and she frowned when they disappeared even quicker this time.

Once more, they popped up, but this was the shortest yet. He was typing and backspacing-- starting and then regretting. And sure enough, after this time, they left altogether.

Kay’s heart sunk when they did. When Cameron must have turned his phone off, or even deleted the chat because he was so sick of looking at it. Kay was left alone again. And stupidly, even though she would have thought it was possible, she felt even lonelier than she had before. 

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

 

Cameron didn’t show up to school on Wednesday. Kay tried not to think much of it. After all, he very clearly wanted nothing to do with her throughout the entirety of Monday and Tuesday. By this point, he was hardly even looking at her at all. She was trying to put him more out of her mind, but it was difficult. He had  _ looked  _ pretty bad, this week. He looked much more tired than he usually was...so she just assumed he had taken a sick day, that day. But then he hadn’t shown up Thursday, either. She had told herself maybe it was a stomach bug, and that he’d be back soon. But then he was gone Friday, too. Missing three out of five school days, when he hadn’t been absent before at all.

She’d been painfully aware of the fact he was gone. Which was funny, when you consider the fact he had already been ignoring her, before now. Maybe she should have been accustomed to the silence, but this silence was different. It was strange not to glance over to the left and see him sitting beside her in first hour. Or to turn around and see him doing something stupid with his trumpet during band. He was new to the school, this semester, but to not see him mixed in with the other students was odd. To not see him in the trumpet row, to not see him in the halls talking to Jordan and debating whether or not they could fit a cow through the main entrance for their senior prank next year. 

Kay had missed talking to him, but now that he was gone she was left to realize how much she just missed him in general. She missed walking into band third hour, to see he was already set up and playing a very loud and very obnoxious song that was somehow a mashup of The Pink Panther and Jingle Bells. Making Beth crack up and lean out to shove at his shoulder as a gesture of humor, but the entire band knew (besides Cameron of course) was an attempt at flirting. 

She missed him flagging her down at lunch. When he didn’t walk her to her next class afterward, telling her some long-winded joke that was hardly ever funny in the long run; she just laughed because of how much he made  _ himself  _ laugh. She missed him lingering near her locker at the end of the day just to walk out to the parking lot together because he thought of  _ another  _ funny story to tell her. When he told her she would see her tomorrow, and walk away throwing over his shoulder, “And you don’t have a choice, either, because it’s against the law to skip school. So. I’ll see you tomorrow, or I’ll see you in court.” 

She just missed him in general. He hadn’t been that way with her for a while now. But at the very least, he had  _ been  _ there. Now that he was gone, it felt even worse. She could hardly concentrate in class, just wondering where he was. Why he wasn’t at school, if something was wrong, if he was okay, why he was ignoring her, what she’d done wrong, and the cycle would just get worse from there on out. She wasn’t one to daydream, and lapse in attention. She hated Cameron for driving her to that point.

Jonathan wasn’t at school, either. That made her wonder even more, what was wrong. She could blame it on a simple sickness if Cameron was gone, but for Jonathan to be missing just as randomly? He certainly hadn’t seemed as strung-out and tired as Cameron had, on Tuesday. It didn’t seem like he could get sick, too. But maybe it was just a fast-acting bug. Or maybe there was a family emergency. She wondered whether or not she should text him, once Thursday came and he was still gone. But as soon as the thought came, she’d taken it back, realizing that he wouldn’t answer even if she did. 

That was kind of a tipping point, for her. This entire time she had been sad. Upset, and confused, and just asking herself what she did wrong to deserve this kind of treatment. It wasn’t until Tuesday, when the thought crossed her mind, that she realized...she  _ didn’t.  _ She thought to herself that Cameron would just ignore her, and she felt the first actual sense of anger in response to it. He  _ would  _ ignore her-- she knew for a fact. Even if there was something horribly wrong, for some stupid reason he wasn’t telling her, Cameron would ignore her and refuse to answer...and  _ why? Why  _ was he angry? He wasn’t  _ telling  _ her, and how  _ stupid  _ was that!? They weren’t in fifth grade, they were almost in college...and he was ignoring her like they’d gotten into a fight on the playground. Where did he get the nerve to do that? What made him think that was okay?

He was gone Wednesday. And then Thursday, and then Friday. She didn’t try and text him at all, over the weekend. But when Monday rolled around, she wasn’t going to just take her seat in their first hour and let it all brush off. Monday came around, and she was determined. She made a point to check the parking lot on her way in, and sure enough, she saw Cameron and Jonathan’s car parked in the lot. There were nowhere to be seen, but at least she knew that they were somewhere. This time, she was hanging onto that anger, refusing to let herself feel even the tiniest touch of sadness.

Not today. 

The instant she got through the doors, she was going to their English class and poking her head in to check his desk. He wasn’t there. No matter--  because as soon as she turned up empty, she turned and went to his locker instead, to check there. He wasn’t there, either. She stopped there for a second and texted him, letting her anxiety over being ignored fly right out the window. She knew she would be ignored. She was texting anyway. ‘Are you going to be gone again today?’ She wasn’t surprised when all there was, was radio silence. She was just severely disappointed. She headed to the cafeteria, to see if he was getting breakfast, but he wasn’t there, either. The computer lab just had its normal crowd. Cameron wasn’t there downloading some questionable game onto a school computer like their teacher had told him time and time again not to.

By this point, there were only about fifteen minutes left before classes started. But she only really had one more option left to explore. She just shouldered her bookbag and quickened her pace, rushing down for the library. It was where a lot of kids hung out before school actually started. Cliques and groups sat clustered together at tables or stood in clumps in corners, gossiping over some drama that had somehow managed to occur in the short time window of them leaving school, and them coming back. Mostly, it was where kids went to talk; there was rarely anyone actually reading or checking out books, here-- at least in the morning, anyway. 

But Jonathan was sometimes the exception to that rule. He liked to come down here a lot, from what Cameron had told her. He was the definition of a bookworm, and hardly ever one to be the ‘social butterfly.’ If Cameron wasn’t anywhere he usually was, and he wasn’t at class, but their car was here, maybe he was here with his brother. 

It was a longshot, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. So she went to the library and stood in the doorway, her eyes combing over the room and trying to sort through everyone gathered there. She was starting to think this last resort would be just as wasted as all her others. But sure enough, she stiffened and straightened when her eyes eventually landed on him. He was sitting at one of the far tables, more tucked away into a corner than all the other ones. He wasn’t reading; he was facing the person sitting across from him. The person across from him had her back to Kay. But she knew it was Cameron.

Jonathan was frowning. He looked worried. Tired, and upset. His mouth was moving quickly, but she couldn’t hear him, on account of everyone else. But his shoulders were hunched, and his posture was much stiffer than it usually was. On impulse, she started over to them. Thankfully, she hesitated about halfway there, and stopped in her tracks.  Jonathan was so focused on whatever he was saying to his brother; he hadn’t seen her yet. 

She bit down on her lower lip and contemplated. Her eyes were solely for Cameron now. They narrowed just a little, and after one more second of thinking, she looked down and slipped her phone out again. She opened her messages and sent him another text. ‘Are you here?’ The second she hit send, she was pocketing the device again, looking up and waiting as she stared a hole through her friend’s back. 

Sure enough, not half a second later, the phone sitting on the table beside him buzzed. She saw him turn a little bit. Saw him supposedly make eye contact with the notification. And a surprising amount of embarrassment and anger flooded through her when she saw him turn it off promptly, and stick it away. The anger she’d started to let fester under her skin starting Thursday was coming back full-force. Now, it was practically burning. Her teeth gnashed together, and her eyes narrowed even more. There was no actual thought at all as she stomped the rest of the way over to them. And she didn’t even wait to actually  _ get all the way there _ before she was snapping:  _ “Hey!”  _

Cameron jerked like he was catching himself in the middle of a flinch. He didn’t turn; he kept his back to her, and that just made her angrier. Jonathan looked up, though, and at the expression on Kay’s face, he was immediately returning her glare. Probably more on protective impulse, than anything else. She didn't talk much to Jonathan. The conversations they’d had were nice enough, and she appreciated him in her science class when he helped her or they partnered up. But they never really got past polite conversation yet. So the warning look he shot her didn’t really do anything for her at all. She just kept glaring at her friend. Or, who she’d thought was  _ supposed  _ to be her friend. “What’s your problem!?” she demanded when Cameron didn’t reply. He didn’t even turn to look at her. Like he couldn’t be bothered to. “What, all of a sudden you’re too  _ good _ to talk to me!?”

Jonathan shoved himself up, very quickly and roughly; if Kay wasn’t so irritated, she would have been caught off-guard by the scowl he was immediately shooting her.  _ “Lay _ off of him,” he growled, immediately protective and practically daring her to keep going. She wasn’t in the mood, though. She’d been worried; she’d been  _ scared  _ something had been wrong with Cameron, for practically  _ two weeks,  _ she had been worried something was wrong, but now  _ here  _ he was. Just turning his phone off like they were in middle school! 

“‘Lay off of him?’” she parroted. She glared at Jonathan, before redirecting it right back to Cameron, who  _ still  _ hadn’t turned around. “You know we had a  _ test  _ in English, on Friday? She told us on  _ Monday,  _ and you  _ know  _ she never lets people take tests if they missed them!” This wasn’t really the actual problem, but it was the first springboard she was getting to. “I ask you if you’re okay and I tell you if you need help you can talk to me, and you just  _ drop  _ off the face of the planet? All I wanted to know was whether or not you were  _ okay,  _ and you just  _ ignore me?  _ What the  _ hell,  _ Cameron!?”

“I said  _ leave him alone,”  _ Jonathan growled, rounding the table more so he could get closer to her. Probably trying to come off as intimidating or mean, but Kay wasn’t one to play that game. She just glared harder at him. “You’re all up in his business, what’s your  _ problem!?  _ He can’t go a couple of days without _ talking _ to you, are you  _ serious?” _

“Jonathan…” Cameron mumbled, his shoulders hunching. He was ducking his head, leaning forward more.

Neither of them even glanced at him. Kay’s response was barbed and immediate. “Sorry if I think it’s rude of someone just to ignore a friend completely for no reason  _ whatsoever _ . Or finding it annoying to think that someone can just stop talking to you and go silent and think that’s a perfectly okay thing to do! Why were you gone?” she demanded, looking back at Cameron. He didn’t answer. “Was it a family thing? Were you sick? Why wouldn’t you tell me, when I was clearly just worried about you?” She scowled, more and more anger coming over her the longer she was finally allowed to get this all off her chest. “I thought we were actually friends, but I guess not.”

Cameron said nothing.

She shook her head. “I thought you were different, Cameron,” she said, and this lost a little bit of its fire, just because she was genuinely hurt by her disappointment. He ducked his head even more. “I thought you were…” She hesitated, then shook her head, abandoning the sentence because she wasn’t sure how she was actually going to finish it. “But I was wrong. If you think it’s okay to just drop someone that hasn’t done a single thing to you and turn your phone off instead of just answering a question for them. That’s not at all who I thought you were.”

“Hey, you have no idea what happened!” Jonathan snapped, moving so he was more in between them. 

Kay’s anger was flaring back up again. Her scowl was back. “Yeah, because he can’t be bothered to tell me!”

“You think he has to tell you everything?” he countered. “We met you a couple of  _ months  _ ago, what makes you so special? When he first got here, you thought he was annoying! You hated him!” She weakened, not sure whether or not she was so put off by how bluntly he said this, or how close he was to actually be right.  “Now you’re here thinking you’re entitled to some...all-inclusive access to him? Give me a fucking break! Get over yourself!”

“‘Get over myself?’ How about you take your own advice? I don’t need to be talked down to by the guy that just thinks he’s  _ so cool  _ because he never talks to anyone and just  _ sits in here and reads  _ by himself.” His hands balled into fists. Kay’s glower soured even more. “I  _ don’t  _ think I’m special,” she snapped. “I just think there are certain things a person shouldn’t do unless they want to be an  _ asshole.” _

“Right, and of course you would know; you’re the stuck-up student council president that’s got a four-point-fucking-eight and thinks they’re so much better than everyone else because they’re taking all AP classes, so everyone should listen to you. When really, you’re just compensating for the fact you don’t have a social life.” She jerked back a little at this, her eyes beginning to sting by now. “Which is why you’re kicking in the library door yelling at my brother, because he’s the one person that hangs out with you, so he can’t  _ possibly  _ leave you even for a  _ second.” _

Her eyes were welling up even more. She was struggling to get anything out. “You...you have-- you’re--” She couldn’t manage it; she was stumbling.

But before she could struggle for too long, Cameron was interrupting. Without warning, he slammed a hand down on the table and stood up, whirling around so he could shoulder the two of them apart. “Both of you  _ shut up _ !” he all but yelled. It was a miracle they weren’t attracting more attention by now. The instant he planted himself between the two of them, Kay was reeling backward in absolute shock and horror. But if he noticed, he didn’t show it. “You guys are both just yelling over nothing!” He whirled around and glared at Jonathan. “Don’t talk to Kay like that!” Jonathan opened his mouth as if to object, but for some reason, he bit it back. Under the stare of his brother, he just suddenly looked guilty, and pained. “I know you’re  _ angry,  _ but you can’t take it out on her! She doesn’t deserve it! And none of what you said was even true!”

He hesitated before he turned to Kay. She was still staring at him in abject horror, her eyes wide and her mouth half open. He ignored this, though. “He’s just angry,” he repeated, his voice turning softer. “And you are too. I’m...sorry I...I haven’t been texting you. I didn’t really...for the longest time...Wednesday just…” He sighed. “It’s a long story…” Kay was hardly listening. She was just staring at him in silence, not even able to blink, she was so floored. He had a  _ huge  _ black eye. A cut sliced deep through his bottom lip. And when Kay glanced down, her heart froze completely when she saw the cast that was holding his arm to his chest, in a way she just hadn’t noticed before because it didn’t even occur to her that that could be the reason he was sitting with his arms so close to him. 

It all must have shown too much on her face because Cameron weakened all the more. He closed his eyes, his blackened one still painfully swollen, and he ducked his head. He did that shuffling thing with his feet he did when he was nervous and couldn’t do anything with his hands. She’d seen him do it a million times already, but none of the scenarios in which she had made her heart hurt as much as it was now, seeing it. “I didn’t...I didn’t know what to tell you,” he ended up confessing, in nothing more than a weak murmur. He was strained, as he stared at the ground. Unwilling to look up at her. “I...couldn’t...figure out what to...say. I knew you wouldn’t...buy anything I’d  _ try  _ to give you...”

She couldn’t find her words. Slowly, the shock was fading, but it was only fading to be replaced with deep sorrow. “Cameron…” It was all she could get out. Her eyes were stuck on his cast, now. Her heart felt like it was being twisted. 

He tried to offer her a smile. It was weak and pained, and so was his voice when he offered: “It doesn’t hurt as much as it did…”

The reassurance did nothing for her. And the question was blurted out before she could stop it. “Cameron, what happened?” She wasn’t angry anymore, not for any of it. Not over the weeks of him refusing to speak to her, all the looks he’d shot her, all the silence in response to her texts. None of it mattered at all. She looked away from his arm and up to him, her eyes wide and almost desperate. Begging him to actually tell her what was happening. Or not even that-- she was begging him just to let her know he was okay.

He must have registered this, looking at her. His eyes flashed, and something in his expression change, the way she was staring at him. He glanced down at his arm, and then back up to her. Remorse and regret were layering themselves over his face like heavy blankets. “I’m sorry,” he managed weakly, not exactly answering her question. Jonathan was silent throughout all of this, just looking between the two of them. When Cameron said this, he looked at his brother and he seemed to lock up all over again. Cameron was just focusing on Kay, though.

Her voice was quiet. But she blurted out her next words without even really thinking. “I missed you.”

He stopped a little short; his eyes went wider. He was quiet for a couple of seconds. She flushed with a bit of embarrassment, but something in his expression almost softened. For a split second, the corner of his mouth almost twitched up into a smile. But as soon as it was there, it was already dropping away to be replaced by that sadness again. Though the sadness seemed somehow deeper, now. “I...shouldn’t have ignored you. I didn’t...I didn’t  _ want  _ to, I...it’s just...I couldn’t...figure out what to tell you. About Friday-- about that night I had to leave. And...and that night I just realized-- or, I wondered…you asked if it was your fault and it  _ wasn’t,  _ and I wanted to  _ tell you  _ it wasn’t, but I  _ couldn't,  _ because then...because then I’d have to try and find a way to--”

Johnny took a step forward, his voice suddenly hard when he tried interrupting. “Cam--”

“Johnny, she deserves to hear this.” His voice was flat, with the rejection. Jonathan’s eyes narrowed as he looked between him and Kay. Her worry was slowly beginning to ebb away into unease, instead. Her hands were beginning to wring in front of her. Cameron tried to pick up again. Jonathan’s hands started to curl into fists, as he did. “It’s not...I just…” Kay was staring at Cameron in silence, her lips pressed tightly together. He took in a big gasp, like the problem for all his stumbling was just that he wasn’t getting enough air in. “.I didn’t know if I could tell you-- but it wasn’t  _ fair  _ for me to just let you--”

“Cameron.” Jonathan’s voice was somehow flatter and duller. “ _ Stop _ .” Kay watched as Cameron glared into space, shaking his head. He looked back and tried to keep going, but Jonathan was practically shoving himself between them so he could fix his brother with an angry look. She was taken aback by the sudden rage, and how obvious it was. How fast he rounded on Cameron. “You  _ promised,”  _ he snapped, and Cameron wilted very noticeably. The simple reminder looked like it took all the air out of him at once. “You  _ can’t  _ tell her, Cameron.”

He hesitated, hung up on this, apparently. When he tried to fight, there wasn’t much fight in his voice at all. “I never actually  _ promised _ , I-” 

“We  _ agreed,”  _ Jonathan corrected, his voice staying harsh. This, Cameron winced at. Jonathan’s voice dropped down to a hiss when he went on, but Kay still managed to hear it. “We tell  _ anyone,  _ and it gets ten times as bad; don’t you remember what happened in fifth grade?” Cameron looked away even more. Kay stiffened when she realized his eyes were starting to get glassier. She started to glare at Jonathan, and take a step closer. He wasn’t even paying her any attention. “Do you want  _ all of  _ that to happen again? I know  _ I  _ don’t. I  _ can’t  _ do all that again, Cameron. I just want to get  _ through  _ these last two years, and doing  _ this isn’t  _ going to be the thing that gets us there.”

Cameron was quiet for a long time. Before he finally got himself to turn and look back at his brother. Kay noticed how difficult it was for Jonathan to keep his glare when he did. When he turned his sorrowful gaze straight to him. “I don’t want to do that, though,” Cameron argued. Kay was so lost, just staring blankly at the two of them. But she didn’t have to understand what was happening to understand how deep Cameron’s sorrow was. It was all in his voice-- his hollow tone and his dull look. It spoke volumes, all on its own. “I don’t wanna just  _ get through  _ the next two years, Johnny...I wanna  _ live  _ them.”

Jonathan set his jaw back. He tried staying firm, but his foundation was crumbling when he eventually choked out: “It’s  _ not  _ just  _ your  _ secret to tell, Cameron. It’s  _ mine,  _ too.” 

With the way they were looking at and talking to each other, Kay might as well have not even been in the room. The room may as well have been completely empty, with the way they were staring at each other and whispering. “And isn’t that  _ lonely?”  _ Kay had never seen Jonathan look this upset. “She won’t tell anyone, Johnny.” Jonathan’s eyes flickered up to her immediately. And just as immediately, she was shaking her head, not knowing what she was promising, but promising without a heartbeat’s hesitation. Cameron melted with gratitude before he looked back at him. “See? I trust her. And I don’t want to keep lying to her.”

The other twin lifted his head up again, just to stare at her long and hard. She felt like a specimen underneath a microscope, every detail being studied and examined thoroughly. After what seemed like a lifetime of this, Jonathan turned back to Cameron. He agonized and debated. Until he eventually ducked his head, shaking it a little. Kay could have sworn she heard him give a tiny sniff. “Fine.” His voice was stiff and curt. Cameron straightened, looking surprised. “Fine; tell her,” he snapped. “If you’re so confident she won’t tell anyone. If you’re willing to bet  _ everything  _ on the fact she won’t tell…”

“She won’t,” Cameron reassured. Kay was surprised at the earnesty in his voice, and how quick he was to squash his brother’s fears.

He still didn't seem all that convinced. “I’m just  _ saying.” _

Cameron looked back at Kay, looking like he was about to say something. She waited, her heart in her throat. She’d been wondering for weeks what was wrong with her friend, and now here he was-- beaten and bruised, and just about to tell her apparently something awful enough to get Jonathan upset like this. She wasn’t making her desperation a secret at all as she stared at him. She practically wasn’t breathing. But Cameron’s eyes flashed, and he seemed to get a little sidetracked. He turned and looked around them, at the rest of the library. Some of the students had been looking their way, before, and some of them were still flashing glances in their direction. Cameron’s beaten-up appearance probably didn’t help any. The extra attention was a little more noticeable, in this gap.

Cameron looked from them, back to Jonathan, who was staring at the ground with clear discomfort, now. Something looked very wrong, on his face. Like he was thinking about something awful, and too caught up in it to even realize they had a little more extra attention than they usually did. But Cameron noticed, and coupled with the expression on his brother’s face, he seemed to draw a conclusion. He faced Kay again, with clear regret in his eyes. “Kay, I’m-- I want to tell you. I will.” Her face started to fall. But she mostly just looked confused as he went on. “Just...not here.”

She stared at him, befuddled. “I...what do you mean?”

“After school,” he blurted out. Jonathan looked up from the floor, blinking a couple of times. Cameron leaned out to nudge him a little bit. “We can meet after school,  _ all  _ of us. We can...go down to the track. Or to the cafe. And we can  _ both  _ tell you, then.” He waited for his brother, looking a little unsure. Jonathan stayed doubtful. His eyes flickered between the two of them. Kay was back to staring sadly at Cameron’s cast, and something on her face must have convinced him, because he gave in, and gave a tiny nod.

Cameron softened and smiled. Kay was positive she wasn’t meant to hear his tiny whisper of: “Thank you, Johnny.”

Jonathan looked at him, getting a little hung up on his tiny grin. He shrugged.

There was a brief space of silence, and in that silence, the warning bell rang. All three looked up when it did. Immediately, everyone around them started to gather up their things and leave. There were only five minutes left until classes started, and somehow those five minutes always seemed to pass by much faster than regular minutes. Kay’s heart plummeted, at the realization, they had run out of time. She started to say something. But Cameron beat her to it. “We gotta get to class,” he sighed. She looked back at him. He tried to smile, but it was more tired than it usually was. “I’m sure I’m gonna get an earful for missing that test.”

It wasn’t all that great a joke, and he still sounded...not all that much like himself. But it was the closest thing to a joke she had gotten from him in what felt like years. She found herself softening, just at the tiny effort. And rebutting with a just-as-soft: “If she doesn’t give you one, I will.” His smile about tripled in strength. Hers grew a little warmer, too. But her eyes went back down to his arm and it was back to faltering. His fractured a little, when he noticed. But he just turned to his brother one last time, to say goodbye.

Jonathan had already stooped down to get his bag for him. Cameron gratefully got his good arm through one of the straps and got it on that way. Jonathan made sure he did, before getting his own bag. Kay watched when he leaned out and gave his little brother a gentle hug. Cameron tried to return it as best he could, but it was a little difficult when he could only move one arm. At least Jonathan still appreciated it. They murmured quiet ‘See you later’s. Something seemed a little different about the way they pulled apart...like neither of them wanted to leave the other.

She looked away, giving them a second of privacy. But she managed to hear Jonathan right before he started away. A simple, soft, yet pleading whisper that hardly reached her ears. She got it all the same. “Please don’t make me regret this, Cam…”

He sounded just as sure. “You won’t.”

Her stomach twisted again, at the easily-given vow. Kay looked up a little to see Jonathan glance at her one last time, still with that odd look, before he turned and walked away. Cameron watched him leave the library, that frown staying on his face. He glanced at Kay once he’d gone, and she stared right back at him, now sure what to say. There was a sense of awkwardness between them that didn’t feel all that right. Cameron stooped down to grab his backpack off the ground. “We should...get to class,” he offered, quietly, and a little stiffly. He wasn’t quite looking at her.

She hesitated. As she remembered the weeks she’d spent wondering if he was okay or if there was something wrong, or what she’d done. Wondering what in the world was wrong, and why Cameron just couldn’t tell her now and stop making her wait. But his arm caught her focus again. The bruises on his eye and on his cheek, and the slice in his lip. The way he was looking at her, and the fact that he wasn’t smiling his usual toothy grin.

But he was here, at least. He was hurt, but he was talking to her. And he was promising that he would explain it all later...she wasn’t quite sure what that meant. But it was something, at least. After a week of being shut out...yes, she wanted an explanation, but at least for right now...she realized she wanted Cameron more.

She recovered her smile. “Yeah,” she said. “Let’s go.”

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

The bell rang, and immediately, Kay was looking anxiously towards the back of the room. All hour, she had been very well aware of Jonathan. When he’d come into their science class, he hadn’t even looked at her. And for the entire fifty minute class period, he hadn’t looked up once from his textbook, which they weren’t even using for that lecture. Paying attention to the material was impossible, for her. She just sat there with an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Running over the confrontation this morning and feeling nothing but fear and anxiety for whatever was going to happen after the final bell rang.

Cameron hadn’t said anything at all. He was quiet in English, but at least he wasn’t giving her the cold shoulder anymore. He got to band and Kay had watched with a sorrowful frown when he’d gone up to the director to speak with him. One couldn’t really play trumpet with only one working arm. She couldn’t help but listen in a little bit. She caught a little bit of his explanation. “Oh, no, I just fell. Down the stairs, I tried to catch myself, but...obviously didn’t work.” He’d tried to laugh it off. She just remembered what he’d said before-- how he didn’t think she would buy ‘whatever I tried to give you.’ They’d glanced at each other as he took his seat, and his eyes had flashed. He had been quick to look away. Since he couldn’t play, he’d just sat there all hour. A miserable frown on his face.

Jonathan looked as upset as he’d been, then. All hour, she was very well aware. And as soon as the bell rang, she was wilting. Her stomach was tying into about seven more knots. She turned and looked back at him, very reluctantly. He glanced at her, but that was it. He got his backpack and picked up his textbook, making for the door. She got up too and started to follow him. Cameron hadn’t exactly told her when they’d go...she didn’t know whether or not Jonathan was backing out of....whatever this was. But she realized soon after they left the science classroom, that he was heading for her locker. She kept walking about five steps behind him, though. Somehow, it felt too weird to walk any closer.

Cameron was already waiting, when they got there. He was staring at his feet, his back against her locker. Her eyes were drawn to his arm, and her heart tugged in pain. Jonathan reached him first; he was murmuring something to him as Kay came up to him. It was too low for her to hear, but she could see the anxiety on his face as clearly as if he was screaming it. Cameron flashed him a look, but he didn’t say anything, getting distracted instead, as Kay got closer. He looked up and gave her a smile. It wasn’t his  _ usual  _ smile. It was more deflated; there was less to it. But he was trying. And she found that when she returned the smile, hers was much brighter than it had been in quite some time.

She came to a stop in front of them and for a second, the three just stared at each other. The tension was heavy between them and the longer the silence stretched, the more awkward it became. Jonathan had more of a scowl on his face; he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, looking frustrated when Cameron eventually asked: “Are you ready? You don’t have to…?” He gestured lamely at her locker. 

She shook her head. “No, I’m...I’m fine.”

He nodded a couple of times. The awkwardness didn’t get any better. He glanced at Jonathan, and then around the hall, at all the other students. He cleared his throat, looking back at Kay and then at her locker and then over his shoulder. Basically, he was looking at absolutely everything, as if he was looking for an answer on what to do and it was just written down somewhere. “Uh…” Her eyebrows drew together a little. She started to ask him if he was okay when he just tore it and offered: “Here, let’s...we gotta...find somewhere.” Jonathan threw him a look, which Cameron tried to ignore. 

He turned and started down the hall. Kay glanced at Jonathan, but he wasn’t taking the time to look back at her. He rolled his eyes a little before he turned and plodded after his brother. Kay was left to just catch up. She trailed after, just trusting that Cameron knew where he was going. She was fidgeting with her backpack strap as she walked, her concerned stare probably burning a hole through her friend’s back. A couple of times she tried to break the silence that was choking their tiny group, but she couldn’t manage it. She just accepted the quiet, no matter how weird it made her feel.

They weaved through everyone in the hall. They were going against the flow. Everyone was making for the parking lot, and they were going the entirely opposite direction. She realized where Cameron was heading when they went out the back door of the school. They crossed the parking lot, making sure not to get run over in the meantime...and they headed for the football field. Football season had passed (they’d won like two whole games the entire season) so when they got down to the bleachers, there was absolutely nobody there. No practices, no gym classes...it was almost creepy how empty and quiet the whole place was. They went up to sit in the very top corner of the bleachers; their footsteps were loud on the metal. The silence made them seem even louder. 

They all sat down together. Jonathan sat close to Cameron; their shoulders were almost brushing. Kay sat on the row just below, so she could turn around and face them fully. She crossed her legs, and then her arms. For a while, nobody said anything. Cameron was switching from just staring at his arm, to looking at his brother. Jonathan wasn’t offering him any help, though, so they were stuck. Kay was staring at her friend tensely, but she wasn’t about to pressure him. She would give him whatever time he needed. 

He was wracking his brain for a long time. Before he eventually smiled a very disappointed, frustrated smile, and laughed bitterly: “This  _ sucks.”  _ Kay deflated just a little more. He shook his head. “It’s always sucked,” he sighed, shooting his brother another look. Jonathan said nothing, but he slouched back against the fencing. He only shrugged one shoulder. Cameron studied him for a second before he looked at Kay, and a little more hesitation leaked into his gaze. “You really….you really  _ can’t  _ tell anyone,” he warned. She opened her mouth, but he was going on quickly. “I know you won’t. But...Jonathan has a reason to be worried. It’s...it’d be really bad. So you just have to promise me.”

She shifted a little. But replied very earnestly: “I promise.”

Cameron waited as if he was deciding whether or not she actually meant it. But nodded after a second and sighed again. There was another big pause. Before he just forced himself to start talking, because then he might actually get somewhere. “I told you we always moved around. And never really...stayed in one spot.” She nodded, remembering. It was one of the first times they’d actually talked. “It was always the worst...to just pack up and move. Eventually, we stopped even trying to get to know other people, because we knew eventually we’d just have to leave them behind.” The sorrow on his face was a sudden one. It caught Kay off-guard. 

He smiled to himself, but it was a smile full of bitterness. “The first time we had to move...that was…” His forehead creased, and he looked at Jonathan. Questioningly, the way someone might turn and look at someone else during a trivia game and ask: ‘What was that actor’s name again?’ Like he was getting tiny details mixed up. So she was even more taken aback when he started to speak, with such a careless, slightly befuddled tone. “I think...the first time we had to move was in...second grade when Jonathan got a sprained wrist.” Jonathan nodded, still staring at his feet. Kay’s face fell, as she looked between the two of them. 

“We moved  _ again  _ in fourth grade...I came to school with short sleeves, ‘cause it was hot that day.” His smile grew even more bitter. Kay’s eyes widened. “Teachers saw the bruises.” He shook his head. “Have  _ never  _ made that mistake again.” She remembered that day during band practice. How he told Jonathan he was hot, and his brother was just replied with a simple: ‘Well...you know.’ It hit her for the very first time that she had never seen Cameron wear short sleeves. Not once. She’d never seen Jonathan wear short sleeves, either. Her eyes were gradually widening more and more. That dread was back in her stomach, and it was only getting worse. She was piecing the puzzle together herself, but she was already wishing she wasn’t.

“Fifth grade…” Cameron trailed off. He wasn’t looking at her, with anything he was saying. He was staring off to the side, his eyes darker than usual. When he said this, his expression grew even darker. Jonathan looked at him. He looked sad, too. Kay swallowed a lump in her throat. Cameron eventually shook his head and skipped whatever it was. “We moved right after that, too, in sixth grade, when a teacher asked why we were so skinny and I didn’t have a good enough answer saved up for that one, apparently.” It was all said with a regretful kind of humor. Now, Kay was deflating with horrible understanding.

“We skipped eighth grade because we had to move in seventh after Jonathan’s nose got broken, and we didn’t sign up in time for the newest semester. So we just had to wait, and by then we just...skipped into high school because it was closer. We wouldn’t have to walk as far, and we were smart enough for it, and it wasn’t like we had friends to stay behind with so…” He sighed. “We moved  _ here  _ because apparently, the teachers were keeping track of how many times we showed up to school with a black eye, and that number got a  _ bit too high.  _ Apparently, they didn’t think we could be  _ that  _ clumsy. Which, you know, could be debated, but…”

There was a long period of silence. Kay was staring at him with a heavy heart, but he was still avoiding her gaze. He gave a shrug, just like Jonathan had. “I don’t know,” he breathed. “Dad just gets mad…” Kay’s eyes were already stinging. Her throat was beginning to burn. “He’s always hurt us. We’ve learned to hide it as best we can, but…” He glanced at his arm. “Some things are easier to hide than others.” 

“Why haven’t you told anyone?” she eventually forced herself to ask. Her voice was so small and fragile. On the verge of breaking, already.

Cameron grimaced. Jonathan took this one. “Tried that already. In fifth grade,” he grumbled. Cameron looked down at his lap almost guiltily. “Cameron’s teacher must have realized something was wrong...they asked him if he was okay, and he got scared. He told her everything-- I had no idea. And I have... _ no  _ idea how our dad got out of that one. But...he did. And he was pissed. To say the least.” He drew a hand through his hair, sighing under his breath. “After he figured out it was Cameron that told, he figured he’d learn his lesson more if  _ I  _ got hurt because of it. 

“He…” Jonathan took in a slow breath, and it shook a little on its way out. He made a face and shook his head like he was trying to shake free of whatever thoughts were crowding his head. “I don’t actually remember what happened.” Kay swallowed hard again. This time it was even more difficult. “I just...remember pain. A  _ lot  _ of it...and I remember Cameron was upset.” Cameron flinched. His eyes were getting glassy. He drew his knees up to his chest and tried to wipe his eyes in a way that wasn’t noticeable. “The next thing I remember  _ clearly _ was waking up in our room and Cameron sitting by me...telling me it was almost two weeks later. I hardly got out of bed for  _ another  _ week. Let’s just say after that, neither of us were very keen on telling.”

Kay digested it as best she could. She felt a tear start to make its way down her cheek, so she very quickly wiped it away. She didn’t say anything, for a long time. She had no idea  _ what  _ to say. Her eyes went back to Cameron’s arm, and her heart squeezed with pain. “What happened this time?” she forced out.

Cameron actually looked at her for a second this time. He offered her another weak smile. “There’s usually not a  _ reason,”  _ he said. “He was just drunk. And I was in the room. So...naturally…”

She asked the question before she even really knew she had it. “Are you going to move again? Is that...how it works?” Her chest was already tightening, at the prospect. 

His face fell. It looked like he was sharing the same train of thought. “I...don’t know.” His voice was quieter. “We don’t  _ always  _ move when something like this happens...otherwise we’d  _ always  _ be moving...it’s only for really bad times. When there are too many questions. So...I don’t know.” Their eyes stayed locked. His face fell, as he studied her. His voice was just a murmur when he said: “I hope not…”

She had to wipe her eyes again. She nodded a couple of times before she looked at her lap.

“The...night of the formal…” She looked back up. His guilt about tripled. “Dad was looking for me, apparently, and I wasn’t there. Jonathan was home alone, and Dad was getting angrier...I didn’t want to leave him there. So I had to get home. And I didn’t know what to tell you, so I just lied, and…” It was impossible to tell who looked sadder, out of the two of them. “And I realized that night...how much it  _ sucks  _ to lie all the time. And the only thing I could wonder was...how many more times I would have to cut our time short. And  _ lie  _ about it to you.

“I didn’t want to do that to you. You deserved better, and...and I don’t know, I just...hated lying to you. I hated leaving you like that and not being able to do anything about it. I didn’t want to...do that to you. I...wanted…” He trailed off for a second. She waited, her heart in her throat. But he just shook his head and doubled back. “I shouldn’t have ignored you. But...I was just trying to...avoid hurting you. I guess.”

It was like salt in the wound. She couldn’t possibly say anything in response.

“I’m sorry,” he offered, very weakly and quietly.

She got her voice back, with that. “Don’t be,” she objected. “ Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry I got mad...I just didn’t understand.” His stare was heavy. She tried to clear her throat so her voice wasn’t so clogged. “You don’t...have to worry about me telling. I...promise I won’t. I just want to help you. I just...wanna make sure you’re okay.”

He softened, smiling a little. And this time, it was an actual smile. More like his own.

Kay looked between the two of them, hesitating for a long couple of seconds. Again, she was acutely aware of how silent the football field was. Her eyes flickered back to Cameron’s arm. Like she couldn’t stay away for long. “Are you gonna be okay?” she asked, her voice much softer.

Cameron looked a little pained at the expression on her face. He opened his mouth.

Jonathan beat him to it. “We have two more years,” he said simply. Kay looked at him, unsure. He and Cameron exchanged a glance, and Jonathan shook his head. “Two more years, and then we can move out. We’ve been saving...the second we turn eighteen, we’re getting out. And we’re never gonna look back. We don’t have any other family...and we’re not dealing with foster care. We’ve dealt with him for sixteen years...two more is nothing.” She still didn’t look all that sure. He pressed with a bit more conviction: “We’re going to be fine.” And there was a certainty to his face that she felt she couldn’t argue against. 

She ducked her head in a tiny nod. She studied her hands for a few moments, not really sure what else to say.

The three of them sat for a couple more heartbeats, in that earsplitting silence. 

Jonathan was the one to break it up. “We should go.” Cameron looked like he wanted to argue. But when he looked at his brother, something passed between the two of them, and whatever argument that had started to build on his tongue was dashed. He just nodded, flashing a regretful look in Kay’s direction. She just gave him a little smile. But she could feel the sadness on her own face. Jonathan stood up, and he followed suit. She caught the worry that shadowed Jonathan’s face when he did. But he was fine, and when Jonathan knew he was, he started to leave.

Before he hesitated. He turned back to Kay, stuffing his hands into his pockets. He opened his mouth. Then closed it again. He looked back at Cameron like he was going to say something to  _ him.  _ But he bailed on that too. The epitome of frustration was on his face when he shot Kay one last look before he turned his back on her and started down the bleacher steps. Kay looked back at Cameron to see he was watching his brother go anxiously. His expression seemed to weigh a million pounds. “Try not to hold it against him,” he murmured. “He’s really worried about this. He just tries to make it seem like he’s not.”

It occurred to her she had no idea whether he was talking to her, or whether he was just walking to himself.

He shook himself after a second and his eyes went to Kay. They flashed with something she wasn’t too sure she had ever seen on his face, before. She wasn’t even too sure that she knew what it was. His voice was quieter when he took her question and redirected it back to her. “Are you gonna be okay?” he murmured.

She smiled. “Yeah...yeah, I’ll be just fine.”

Cameron nodded. He looked tense and on-edge but just nodded again. “I’ll text you later,” he offered, and she was almost embarrassed at how the simple promise made her smile almost immediately. She covered it up by ducking her head and fixing her hair. Cameron ducked his head too and started to follow Jonathan. But he stopped and turned, after only making it a few steps down. “I really am sorry, Kay.” She wilted a little when she looked at him. At his cut lip and bruised eye and broken arm. And all the sadness suddenly on his face when he repeated his apology from before. “I shouldn’t have...pushed you away like that. I just...didn’t know what else to do.”

She softened. “It’s okay,” she promised. “I had no idea. But now I do.”

He nodded a couple more times. There was a long period of silence. Before he broached very slowly: “Are…” He grimaced a little. “Are  _ we... _ okay?” he forced out, after a second. She was a little surprised by the question. And the trepidation he had in asking it. 

She was surprised at first, but she regained her smile quickly. “Of course.” He perked, a little bit of his smile coming back. She was so happy to see it. “Of course we’re fine, Cameron.” His smile grew. She tilted her head to the side, and her forehead creased a little as she looked at him a little closer. “You’ll….just...be okay? And... _ tell  _ me if something is wrong...you’ll tell me the  _ real  _ reason why something is wrong if there is anything?” 

He studied her. Somehow, this silence was a different kind than all of what they’d had before. The corner of his mouth twitched upward, into even more of a smile. “I suppose if that’s what friends do,” he offered. And there wasn’t too much laughter hidden behind his voice...but there was some. Hiding underneath the awkwardness this entire situation had brought onto them. She was willing to take it, hoping that little by little, it would come back. Her smile was all the reply he needed. Cameron’s smile was much fuller now, as he surveyed her for a couple more seconds. 

Before he offered a soft: “See you later, Kansas,” and turned to walk the rest of the way down to where his brother was waiting.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

It was raining. 

Which figured, because the day was pretty crappy already, so mother nature might as well make it even worse. The  _ worst  _ part about it was that this could all be snow if it was just a  _ couple  _ degrees colder. For now, it was just freezing rain that turned you into an icicle if you stood in it for longer than thirty seconds. But...he had to admit, he didn’t mind it, now. Maybe because they’d just made it home before it had started pouring, so he had yet to experience what life was like when you were frozen. But he liked the sound of it. It was kind of soothing. To just lay down and stare up at the ceiling and focus on the drumming sound against the roof, and the windows.

His phone buzzed and he picked it up where it was resting on the mattress beside him. The corner of his mouth twitched up in a smile as he unlocked it. He’d texted Kay a couple of hours ago, around six. For some reason, because he was  _ never  _ one to entertain the idea of hesitancy very much or very often, he’d been reluctant to text her. He hadn’t known what to say. He had just spent nearly an entire week ignoring her for no reason...what do you say to someone after you do that? He knew he shouldn’t have. He shouldn’t have made her feel like she had done something wrong when really, it was just him. Or more specifically, their dad.

But that was the point. Their dad was always getting in the way.  _ Always.  _ He was the reason they could never have kids over to stay at their house like everyone else at school got to. He was the reason they couldn’t have birthday parties, or even invite people over for a couple of hours. He was the reason they moved so often, so much so that they gave up on having friends in the first place, pretty much. Or, long-term ones, at least. He was the reason for pretty much everything lacking in their life because something could happen at a drop of a dime that they weren’t prepared for. Like Friday, when Cameron had had to leave Kay to get home and make sure Jonathan was okay. Or Tuesday, when his father had yelled at him for ‘talking back.’ Shoved him to the ground and before he could even really  _ start  _ fighting back, grabbed his arm and broke it without any warning.  _ Then,  _ he had had to drop everything and go to the emergency room and deal with all of  _ that _ .

He didn’t want to do that to Kay. He’d thought that was what ignoring her texts would accomplish.

He just hadn’t expected it to hurt so badly, or be so lonely. 

He knew he’d handled it wrong, and he didn’t know what to say to her. She’d forgiven him at the track but she had probably forgiven him too easily. It was the added pity, surely, that helped her. That was another reason he was too scared to text her...he didn’t want to see whether or not she looked at him completely differently, or acted differently towards him. He’d thought of what to text her for ages before he’d finally settled on: ‘So does my tragic backstory make me more attractive or less attractive to you? Because if we’re going off what happens on The Bachelorette, you should be head over heels right about now.’ 

He had been on pins and needles for her reply. But it had only taken a couple of minutes.

‘Well, I was going to give you the rose, but I know another guy whose dog got stepped on by an elephant. Looks like you’re out of the running for now.’

He had felt a stupid amount of relief when she hadn’t immediately taken to concern, or asking if he was okay, or bringing up something else that just wasn't... _ them.  _ If there was  _ even  _ a them, at this point. There probably wasn’t, but anyway. He had smiled and even laughed a little under his breath. Before he had replied: ‘Oh, but if that’s what you’re into, then you’re never gonna believe what happened to my goldfish.’

Hours later, and they’d diverted a bit. Which Cameron was fine with. 

‘Does your arm still hurt?’ she’d asked.

He typed back. ‘Not really. It’s more uncomfortable than anything, I think.’ 

‘How is your night going?’

He frowned. Hesitated, before he replied: ‘You mean, has your other arm gotten broken yet?’

It took a couple of minutes for her to reply. When she did, Cameron was a little surprised. ‘I was mainly asking what you were doing in general. But yes, I would also like to know about the functionality of your other arm, since you brought that up. Along with anything else.’

Cameron stared at the screen for a while. Before he typed slowly: ‘I’m just listening to the rain mostly. Still with just the one injured body part.’

Kay had replied with a smiley face. ‘I’m listening to the rain, too.’

His eyes lingered on this text bubble. There was a certain kind of tugging in his chest that he wasn’t sure he liked. He’d felt the same tugging before, that Friday night they’d spent together. Their Not-Formal-Formal. He’d had fun. The funnest time he’d had in a long while. With someone that wasn’t his brother. Kay had said she wasn’t good company, but she couldn't be any more wrong. It was the last thing he wanted to do, that night: leave her early. He’d wanted nothing more than to stay, sitting by her in the cold by that pond he’d found. 

Suddenly, he found the sudden urge to text her that.

He started to...but then decided against it. He put his phone back down again, instead, and took a break, closing his eyes as he went back to listening to the rain. It felt like there was a heavy weight on his chest, that was hard to breathe around. He sighed and reached up with his good arm, to rub at his forehead. A voice from the doorway got his eyes opening again, and his head turning towards it. “You okay?” Jonathan was standing in the doorframe, looking at him with the trademark worry he usually had on his face. At first, Cameron was touched by it, but now it was getting a little annoying. Especially after all these years. But he couldn’t ever hold it against him. He’d be awful, to. 

“I’m fine,” he sighed, dropping his arm. “Just...thinking.”

“A dangerous pastime, for you,” Jonathan mused, taking the reply as an invitation in and making his way over to him. Wordlessly, Cameron scooted to the far edge of his bed, a little smushed against the wall. Jonathan laid down by him, giving out a big sigh as he laid back and stared up blankly, too. For a while they just lingered there together in comfortable silence, listening to the rain as it continued to pound ceaselessly against the house. 

Until Cameron broke through the quiet. “Thank you, Johnny,” he murmured. Jonathan perked and looked at him a little oddly. But after a second, his eyes flashed, and his expression turned much more apprehensive like before. That worried, angry kind of look that was distinctly Jonathan's and no one else’s. “For letting me tell her,” he defined anyway. “I know you didn’t want to...and I know it was your secret too. So...thank you. For letting me tell her.” Sixteen years and they hadn’t told a single friend. It was the loneliest feeling in the world, keeping this secret.

And it was especially lonely when he had to keep it from her.

Jonathan was quiet for a bit. Before he grumbled stiffly: “She just better not tell anyone.”

Cameron shook his head. “She won’t,” he promised immediately. Softly. “I know she won’t.” Jonathan turned his head and studied him. His eyes narrowed a little, in thought. Cameron mimicked him, turning so he could look at him just as hard. “What?” he asked. Jonathan’s eyebrows knitted together a little, and genuine irritation clouded over Cameron’s face when he snapped:  _ “What?” _

Jonathan didn’t quit looking at him closely. “Do you like her?” he asked, very bluntly, very suddenly.

He felt his face get hot. “What do you mean, what are you-- what do you mean?” 

Jonathan started to smile. Just a little bit, but it was enough. “You like her.” This time it was a statement. Cameron glowered at him, and he started to stifle a laugh. “You like the bookworm,” he prodded. Cameron scowled, and Jonathan shoved at his shoulder, making it worse. “You like the student council president! You like the girl that told you to shut up at least  _ five times a day  _ when we first got here!”

“Stop it!” Cameron snapped, batting him off. 

Jonathan's smile softened a little. He didn’t pester him anymore.

Cameron looked back down at his phone, and turned it on again, simply to see her contact name looking back at him. Jonathan wasn’t blind to the smile that was pulling on the edges of his lips. The softer look he got on his face. So he wasn’t surprised at all when Cameron murmured: “...Maybe.” Jonathan watched him in silence, as he kept staring at the name. Before he put his phone down and looked back up, but with a much more distracted gaze this time. He murmured softly, under his breath, almost like he was talking to himself: “Yeah...maybe I do. A little bit.”

Jonathan stared at him for a few seconds. He glanced down at his injury, and something flashed in the back of his gaze. He leaned over to nudge his brother’s shoulder with his own. Cameron roused and looked back at him, and Jonathan tried to give him another grin. But this one was much weaker. It was filled with a certain kind of anxiety. A worry that was going unspoken, but Cameron could hear loud and clear. “Be careful...Cam,” Jonathan pleaded softly. “Just...be careful.”

Cameron stared at him. Remembering quite a lot of things at once. Remembering when they were really little, and their father always used to lock him in the hallway closet for ‘being too annoying.’ How he used to scream and cry and bang on the door but there was no getting out. How Jonathan had sat outside the door all night talking to him, to let him know that he was okay and he wasn’t alone. How he would end up sleeping there because he didn’t want to leave him. How the two of them started to know when their dad would start drinking more, so they would find different hiding places at night and just fall asleep squeezed into some awkward position together.

How horrifying it had been to watch their father beat Jonathan to practically an inch of his life when they were in fifth grade...how he had spent every moment at his bedside, crying as he desperately watched his chest, just waiting for the moment it would stop moving. How when he’d woken up, the first thing Jonathan had asked him was whether or not he was okay, or if he got hurt too. How last week after their dad had twisted his arm, and Cameron had curled up into a ball biting down on the scream that was begging to get out, Jonathan had immediately flown to him and wrapped him up in a hug, reassuring him that they would get this fixed and it would be okay.

It was all there, in the silence and the looks between them. 

He smiled, affection and gratitude alike burning his chest as he promised his brother: “I will.”

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

“Do you want a pillow?” Kay asked out of the blue.

Cameron blinked, “A pillow?”

“For your arm.” He looked down as if he was confused. The two of them were sitting on her couch, doing last-minute studying for their final in a couple of days. They’d only been at it for a while...but Kay was a little bit too aware of the fact that Cameron had been shifting and fidgeting practically ever since he’d sat down. He was still getting used to the feel of his arm, she was pretty sure. She couldn’t imagine it could be very comfortable at all. “It might be better if you keep it elevated. It might make it less awkward.”

Cameron looked a little embarrassed, glancing down at his cast. But he cracked a tiny smile.  “Uh yeah. Sure. Thanks.” She slipped that pillow that was behind her back out so she could hand it to him. It took him a second to mess with his arrangement of notebooks and novels, but eventually, he got it so that his arm and everything else was comfortably perched atop the bulky pillow. His smile got a little more content; he looked much more comfortable. Kay smiled too when she looked back down over the study guide. A few more minutes of comfortable silence went by before Cameron spoke up again. “So do you think she’ll give us many questions about  _ The Great Gatsby _ ?”

Kay shrugged, “Seeing as it was a book we talked about for a good two weeks, I’d say so.”

“Damnit.”

She couldn’t help but laugh a little. “What’s wrong with  _ The Great Gatsby _ ?”

“It’s just about some dude following the lives of some unlikable people who think that money is the most important thing in life!”

She tilted her head to the side, relenting to the fact. Before she decided to play devil’s advocate. “Isn’t money important though?”

“It is… but there are other things that are just as important.”

Kay smiled at him as she continued to make her flash cards. “Like what?” she hummed.

“Well, food,” he began

“Costs money,” she immediately countered.

He tried to flash her a sharp look, but he was bad at hiding his smile. She giggled a little, and he got even worse at hiding it. Nonetheless, he tried another one. “A home.”

“Cam, I  _ hate  _ to burst your bubble, but a home  _ also does indeed _ cost money.”

“Companionship,” he countered, and this time he sounded very pleased with himself like he’d figured he’d finally gotten her.

Kay just smirked, “Depends on the companionship you’re talking about.”

“Really?” He squinted his eyes playfully as he flipped a page in his notebook.  _ “Really?” _

She chuckled. “Go on.”

“Can money buy you friendship?” he stressed.

“Probably.”

He eyed her before he drew out his biggest gun. “What about love?  _ Actual...real  _ love?”

Kay thought of trying to find a way around this one but found she didn’t quite have it in her. “Well, I guess you got me there,” she relented. “I guess money can’t buy  _ actual  _ love. You can have that  _ one  _ win.” Cameron grinned, pretending to do a very dramatic, very awkward, bow, considering his broken arm and the fact that literally, everything he had brought with him was currently in a precarious balancing act on a pillow.

His just-as-dramatic ‘Thank you, thank you,’ was almost covered up by Kay giggles. She shook her head, in a way that clearly said ‘What am I going to do with you?’ He flashed her a cheeky smile. They held each other’s gazes for a second, neither of them looking away or breaking their smiles. Before Kay cleared her throat and looked back down at her cards, first. Cameron was quick to follow. But both of their smiles lingered for a while.

Kay was just making her last couple of flash cards when Cameron suddenly announced out of the blue: “I missed this.” she looked up, surprise and confusion alike on her face. He looked a little surprised himself like he hadn’t meant to actually say that. But once he realized it was out, and once he realized Kay was staring at him, he shrugged, and elaborated. “I missed hanging out here. We did it all the time back when we had that dumb project. We haven’t done it too much since then.” 

She cracked a sarcastic grin. “My house isn’t that fun,” she argued.

“I didn’t mean being at your house,” Cameron laughed. “I missed being with  _ you.”  _

This was said carelessly, and conversationally. He was merely correcting her for misunderstanding what he’d meant. But the second they left his mouth he realized what they actually sounded like, and what he’d actually let out instead. His eyes widened just a fraction. Kay stared at him, awkwardness and subtle surprise on her face. Cameron tried to amend it. “I just...it’s nice to...it’s nice to hang out again, it’s…you keep me focused, is all I’m saying,” he offered, hurriedly tucking back into his study materials. Suddenly much less smooth than he usually always was. 

He fell silent and hoped she would do the same, and they could both just pretend he hadn’t said something weird and out of place.

When she murmured back to him: “I missed being with you, too.”

He blinked fast, looking back up at her. She offered him a smile, and this smile was a lot different than her other ones. It was much smaller...almost shyer. Looking at it now, he realized it was the same smile she’d had out by the pond that night, right before he had ruined the whole thing by leaving. It was the smile she had been wearing when they’d been less than a few inches away from each other. When they'd gotten close to...when they’d  _ maybe almost… _

Kay cleared her throat again and looked away. Her cheeks were a little red. Cameron felt like his own face was on fire. She refused to look back up at him. She wasn’t even blinking, she was pretending to be so focused on her cards. Cameron found it harder to tear his gaze away. He found himself staring at her a little bit longer like he wanted to remember that smile because it was so different. Like he wanted to remember just a little bit longer what she had looked like that night because he regretted having to leave. He regretted not waiting just a minute more, so he could just close that tiny millimeter of space they had left.

Because he regretted leaving.

He regretted not being able to see that smile for longer.

He regretted not being able to see what would have happened if everything had been perfect.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

The final bell rang, and everyone was rushing out the door. They ran with the urgency that every last day brought with it. That sound not only meant that the school day was over but today it almost meant that the semester was over. No more finals, no more homework, all that was left was winter break and Christmas and New Year’s. There was no more school for nearly a month, so everyone was practically tripping over themselves to get out and get out fast. Kay wasn’t one of those people...usually all the rush ended up causing at least a total of two accidents in the parking lot, so she was actually more inclined to just wait a while and  _ not  _ die. 

She had caught Jonathan’s eye on the way out of science. She’d felt a little awkward. As good of friends as she was with Cameron, she hadn’t talked to Jonathan nearly as much. They’d probably held about a handful of conversations, and especially now that she knew the secret they’d kept for so long, she wasn’t sure where that left them. Jonathan was certainly not making an effort to talk to her more. At least yet. So when she first caught his eye, she felt a tiny jolt of nervousness. But he’d just offered her a small smile and a wave. He didn’t offer anything else, and the smile was mostly polite. But it was something, and for some reason, it made her happy, as she watched him go.

She went to her locker. She would be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t keeping an eye out for Cameron. Usually, he was by her locker after school. They walked out to the parking lot together. But he wasn’t there. She frowned a little but got her things anyway. The last thing she needed to do was get her instrument from the band room. From there, she wasn’t sure...she’d probably just go to the library for a while until most of the students cleared out. When she shut her locker, she lingered for a couple more seconds, waiting to see whether or not he was just running late. But eventually, she just told herself she could text him, later. She didn’t want to come off as clingy or anything. She didn’t care that much. Not at all.

She weaved her way through the halls and down the stairs. She was going against the stream, so it took her a while. By the time she got down to the band room it was pretty empty. There were only a couple people coming through to pick up their instrument on their way out. Kay moved through them all and headed for the far closet, where the woodwinds kept their cases. She grabbed the handle and started to pull. But the very instant she got the door even an inch open, something was suddenly flinging out of it. She only had time to give a startled squeak before someone grabbed her arm and yanked her in. The door was shut behind her.

It was hard to see once the door closed, but it was even harder to just stand in general. The closet was really only wide enough for the shelves that held the instrument cases. There was about maybe a foot left to stand, or just a little bit less than that. Her shoulder was brushing awkwardly against the door when she turned to look at who the heck had yanked her in here. She should have been smarter by now, to know  _ exactly  _ who it was. So the surprise was a little dry when she turned and found herself looking at Cameron.

In here, they were forced to stand pretty close together. She started to snap: “What in the world--!?”

“Shhh!” Cameron hissed, very urgently. He turned and nudged the door open just a crack, so he could peek outside. She looked at him oddly. He turned back to her. “Be quiet!” he whispered. Her expression must have given away the fact she thought he was stupid because he was defending himself. “I rigged Mike’s case to explode with confetti the second he opens it,” he explained. She was pretty sure that if she was having difficulty hiding the fact she thought he was stupid  _ before _ , now the hope was out the window. “He said he was going to ask Messerli for help on this audition piece before he left.” It was dark, but Kay could see that his eyes were gleaming. They were bright enough anyway. “The second he opens it to play... _ bam.  _ Tons of confetti.” 

Kay stared at him.

He stared right back.

After a couple of seconds all she got out was: “Why?”

Now it was  _ his  _ turn to look at her like she was stupid. “ _ Because,”  _ he elaborated. She was still waiting for something a bit more substantial, so he did the best he could. But his best was still pretty weak. “Why would I  _ not  _ do it? If you had the option to make confetti explode all over someone, wouldn’t  _ you?”  _ She raised an eyebrow at him. He shook his head, peeking outside again. “You need to figure out your priorities,” he whispered, almost to himself.

Her eyes went from him to the door. “So you’re just waiting in here until he comes?” she whispered.

“Well, I have to see the results, otherwise the effort wasn’t worth it,” he insisted. 

She nodded, pretending this was a perfectly rational situation. 

He sighed and leaned back. Turning to her again they just stared at each other for a couple of long seconds. The silence was tense, and it wasn’t helped by their forced proximity. Eventually, Cameron asked very nonchalantly: “So how was your day?”

She laughed. He grinned at her giggle. “Well, it certainly hasn’t been interesting, until now.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Cameron chirped quietly. “To add  _ pizzazz  _ to your life; you’re welcome.”

“Thanks,” she scoffed. He looked outside again. She cracked an even bigger smile. “I wondered why you weren’t at my locker...but I admit, hiding in the band closet to wait for Mike to open his case and be rained on by confetti wasn’t the answer I would have come up with.”

He perked, turning back to her. “You were  _ looking  _ for me at your locker?” he grinned.

She was glad it was so dark; she was sure her face turned bright red. “Of course not,” she snapped. He smiled wider. “I mean-- you’re just...usually there, it was weird not to--”

“You missed me.” He sounded awfully smug.

“I didn’t miss you,” she rejected, almost before he was even done saying it.

Cameron snickered. “You did, but that’s okay, we don’t have to linger on such things, Kansas.” He patted her shoulder when he said this, and she got about ten times as red. She tried to shoot him a glare, but he was looking outside again. “Mike is taking forever to get down here,” he grumbled. 

“I’m gonna leave,” Kay announced.

He was turning back again. “You are  _ not  _ gonna leave; you’re gonna stay because you can’t give away my hiding spot.” He paused before he added:  _ “And  _ because I was getting lonely and wanted company so now that you’re here you can’t leave. You signed a contract when you got in here with me, whether you knew it or not. Now you can’t break it. It’s binding.”

She wished she could be irritated, but she just stifled another laugh. He glanced outside again, and when he did, she looked down at his arm. Her expression wilted and softened at the same time. She was quiet for a couple of seconds, just watching him. Before she said very suddenly, and very quietly: “I’m glad you’re okay again.” He perked, looking at her with a little bit of surprise. She felt hot again when she rushed to explain. “Before, when you...before you told me. You were a lot quieter. You seemed sad.” He deflated a little, but she smiled at him. “You’ve been more like yourself, recently. It’s a relief. I mean…” She gestured around them, making her voice lighter. “You’re hiding in closets and making confetti explode at people; if that’s not the old you, I don’t know what is.”

He smiled. His expression was a bit softer, too. “Yeah...I was just...real in my head. I think. I do that a lot.” He hesitated before he added: “I feel a lot better...now that you...know. Even if it’s…” He grimaced a little. He shook his head to clear it. “It feels less lonely.” She smiled. A sadder kind of smile this time, but it was there anyway. “I didn’t want to shut you out, either. You’re probably one of my best friends here. And I haven’t made a best friend in a long time.” Her chest pulled at the sentiment. She didn’t say anything at first, and his smile turned much awkwarder. “Is that a totally sad thing to announce here in the band room woodwind closet?”

She giggled. Shook her head. “No,” she murmured. “‘Cause you’re probably mine, too.”

He beamed. Somehow he had the ability to make the space seem much less dark. 

The both of them were quiet for a couple of moments, just smiling at each other. Before Kay cleared her throat and ducked her head a little. “Will we...”She fiddled with her hands. She was nervous. Which was weird. She had never really felt nervous like  _ this  _ before. She tried to push it down, telling herself it was ridiculous for her to be nervous for asking a simple question. “Do you want to hang out during winter break?” It wasn’t like they didn’t hang out outside of school now. It wasn’t an odd thing. But for some reason, her stomach was twisting. Again, she thanks her lucky stars it was dark in here.

Cameron’s grin only grew wider. “Are you kidding?” Kay couldn’t help but crack a smile at his reaction. A tiny bit of her nerves started to calm down. “Of course! I can’t go a whole month without hanging out with  _ Kansas.  _ I’d go through withdrawals; I’d be a nightmare.” Her smile grew; she giggled a little bit again. He lit up even more when she did. “We’ve got a whole month all to ourselves; we can hang out every day, all the time. Twenty-four-seven, just living it up.”

She laughed, and he kept going. “In fact, I’m still new here and I’ve heard there’s a good skating rink somewhere, and I find it  _ horribly rude  _ that as someone who lives here permanently, you have yet to actually show me around.” She snorted and he fixed her with a mockingly-stern look. “I’ll consider forgiving you if you take me out on the town. But  _ only  _ then. And even then, forgiveness might not come cheap.”

“I see. How awful of me,” she laughed. “I’ll be sure to fix that.”

“Twenty-four-seven,” he reminded her, smirking. “Partying hard.”

She giggled again. “Not twenty-four-seven,” she whispered. 

“Why not?”

She was a little surprised. She laughed again. “That’s way too much.”

“I’m offended,” he gasped. “That you do not wanna spend  _ every waking moment you have  _ with me.”

“I didn’t mean it like  _ that _ ,” she objected. “I meant for  _ you _ .”

He just got more confused. “What are you talking about?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’d get real sick of me real fast,” she promised.

“That’s not true!” he said immediately. “I wouldn’t get sick of you!”

She looked at him with clear doubt. A silent ‘C’mon’ to get him to stop lying.

But he softened, and there was genuine affection in his voice when he murmured: “I could never get sick of you.” 

She was too floored by the sudden announcement to actually say anything. She didn’t know what to say in response...so she just ended up staring at him stupidly. His smile turned a little awkward, and a little nervous, but he didn’t take it back. He searched her face, looking thoughtful. He hesitated before he tacked on in nothing more than a whisper: “I wouldn’t mind twenty-four-seven…”

The faintest smile began to crawl over her face. Her chest was growing warmer and warmer. 

Suddenly she was acutely aware of just how close they’d been this entire time. They were squeezed in together, and because of that, they were nearly chest-to-chest. Her face was getting hotter, too. She didn’t even think. All of a sudden she was just replying, the words coming out of the blue. She was speaking so softly, it was hardly audible. “I wouldn’t mind it either…”

He smiled again, and it was that full-on, goofy... _ adorable _ smile she’d come to know from him. The one she’d missed, and the one she was so relieved to have back. It was contagious-- she started to smile, too. For a moment, they just grinned at each other. Kay’s smile was the first to leave. To be chased away instead by a sudden strong sense of something close to apprehension. Cameron’s was following. His smile faded; he looked thoughtful, instead. She missed his smile. Even though it was  _ just  _ there, she missed it and wanted it back. She always wanted to see it.

She remembered the night of the winter formal, right before Jonathan had called Cameron and broke the moment. She remembered how they had both leaned closer and closer. How he’d reached up to hold her face. How close they had been. They were  _ already  _ that close. Reluctantly, without even really thinking, she started to lean even closer. Cameron didn’t move at first; he just searched her face again, like he was making sure. Before he started to lean closer as well, moving just as painfully slow.

He was just the tiniest bit taller than her. She had to stretch up, and he had to bend down just a little. She smiled when she felt his hand again, against her cheek. She took a step closer and now there was no distance at all between the two of them. She reached up to put her hand against his neck and she felt how fast his heart was racing. They were less than a millimeter apart, yet there was one final hesitation. One more burst of nervousness that got them to stop. But Kay remembered the way they had been stopped before, and the disappointment that had yawned in her chest afterward. She didn’t want that again. So she stomped down her worry and her anxiety. And she closed the tiny space that was left. 

Their lips met and the instant they did, her stomach was doing flips. She felt  _ butterflies.  _ The stupid, awful cliche that was always used and she had never quite believed was an actual thing, and yet now there was no denying it. They started, and they only got worse. At first, they just kissed once. A slow, lingering one that seemed to last forever. They both pulled back afterward. But neither of them wanted it to end. They only pulled away long enough to breathe, before they were coming back to the other. Cameron delved his hand back through her hair and urged her a little closer so he could kiss her deeper. The butterflies in her stomach only got worse. 

But it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Kay moved to put her arms around his shoulders. As he kissed her again....and again a third time, her hands went up to draw through his hair, too. If they were both thinking, they would have considered the fact that there was a very high chance of someone opening the door to get their instrument. Which would definitely lead to a very awkward situation. But neither of them cared. Neither of them was thinking about that. Kay, usually always thinking ahead, wasn’t even taking that into consideration.

All she was thinking of was the fact she was so close to him, and he was kissing her. All she could think of were the days they spent laughing and joking when before, she hadn’t really spent it with anyone. Of how pained and worried she was about him, now...but also how relieved she was that he was okay. That for right now, it didn’t matter, and everything was perfect. How she never wanted to stop kissing him, and about how he must feel the same way because he never pulled back.


End file.
